Observed at the beach

[PeterUK]

Jomtien beach is a good place to relax, socialise or just observe. I particularly enjoy observing тАУ the boys, of course, but also my fellow-farangs. One near-bald American, probably in his mid-seventies now, has had a horrible fascination in my eyes for a long time. He is there almost every day, always in the same chair. Everything has to be just so and, when he arrives, the staff scurry about attending to his needs with frowning resignation. He strips down to a pair of navy-blue trunks which look more like old-fashioned y-fronts, revealing a pale, waxy body heavily wrinkled by time. His face is a picture of misery, in which suppressed anger looks ever ready to erupt. I've heard from someone who knows him slightly that he can come out with disconcertingly direct and personal questions on first meeting new people. Farangs who occasionally stop at his chair for a few words tend to have a wary look in their eyes. He's an embittered, prickly, unhappy old man тАУ in short, not someone you would ever mistake for a ray of sunshine.

He usually sits reading quietly, has one dip in the sea a day and might glide along the seashore for a while, his little black cloud hovering overhead. He knows many of the vendors and massage boys, but until recently I've never seen him with a boyfriend. For the past couple of months, though, he has been arriving at his familiar chair accompanied by a slim, handsome young man whose appearance is marred only by a certain wounded, spoilt look in the eyes. They sit together without saying much, both looking miserable. The old American does rouse himself to try to be more cheerful than usual, but his quips sound very stilted and his rictus grin is a horrible parody of a natural smile. Nobody is fooled, not the Thai staff, the vendors, the massage boys and, least of all, the boyfriend, who can barely raise a half-smile out of the depths of his resentment. I sometimes catch the American looking sadly and thoughtfully into the middle distance. Late in the afternoon тАУ a romantic touch, this тАУ the two of them might stroll along the seashore together, but the young man soon trails a step or two behind. It's the sort of relationship where the outsider finds himself speculating ignobly about how much the young man is being paid to persevere with an arrangement that he obviously dislikes intensely.

Unlike the American, I've never been one to sit in the same spot all the time. As the beach has become more crowded in recent weeks, I've tended to sit nearer the Rabbit resort end of the gay section. A group consisting of a farang of about sixty, an old lady who might be his mother and a mid- to late-twenties Thai has been arriving at about two every afternoon and sitting in front of me. The Thai looks vaguely familiar from the bar scene years ago, but I could be wrong. The farang, large-nosed, kind, shrewd eyes, receding wavy black hair, speaks German and French fluently and English and Thai passably well. I suspect that he and the young man live in Europe and are here for an extended holiday. Most of their many friends, who come and go all afternoon, appear to be German. There is a very relaxed, almost family atmosphere, lots of joking and laughter. Massage boys and other Thais, who clearly know the farang well, give him high, respectful wais and chat happily with him. The boyfriend, very solicitous of the old lady's well-being, has lovely intelligent eyes which shine with a steady contentment. There are no great displays of affection between him and the farang, just little glances and changes of tone which speak volumes. If going off to chat with friends, the Thai might kneel in front of the farang, look deeply into his eyes, smile and then shower him with peck-kisses on the cheeks which the farang pretends to find unwelcome and squirms away from. I don't know if the Thai is 'in love' with the farang, but I'd say he undoubtedly loves him as a person. It's a heartening sight to behold.

In comparing in my mind the two scenes тАУ the grim-faced American and his bored boyfriend, the easy-going German (?) and his happy boyfriend тАУ I conclude, as most people probably would, that both couples are getting what they deserve. Everyone shapes his own reality according to the person he has made of himself. In the judgment of the wider world, of course, it is the American and his boyfriend who sum up life in Pattaya тАУ lust and greed joining hands in an unholy mockery of a proper relationship. That's fair enough as far as it goes тАУ Pattaya is a giant brothel, after all. What always amazes me, though, is the amount of evidence of ordinary, decent human interactions if one looks with an impartial eye. Farangs and Thais in contented long-term relationships, farangs and Thais just having fun together, on the beach, in bars, without pressure, acts of kindness and real assistance performed on both sides. All this shouldn't really be surprising because we are all individuals, farang and Thai alike, who bring a multitude of different desires and expectations with us when we come even to a place of predetermined tawdry reputation like Pattaya. The overall image isn't going to change any time soon; the nuances are there for those who care to notice them.

[Khor tose]

Peter, while I often disagree with your politics, I must admit you are one very good writer. Thank you for the observations and I concur wholeheartedly with you summation. Beautifully done.

[arsenal]

I concur with Khor Tose. A beautifully written piece. Reminded me of Death in Venice.

[jolyjacktar]

Ahhh what a lovely film that was

[travelerjim]

Right On Peter!

You have said it well, Thank you.

tj

[jimnbkk]

In comparing in my mind the two scenes тАУ the grim-faced American and his bored boyfriend, the easy-going German (?) and his happy boyfriend тАУ I conclude, as most people probably would, that both couples are getting what they deserve. Everyone shapes his own reality according to the person he has made of himself. In the judgment of the wider world, of course, it is the American and his boyfriend who sum up life in Pattaya тАУ lust and greed joining hands in an unholy mockery of a proper relationship. That's fair enough as far as it goes тАУ Pattaya is a giant brothel, after all. What always amazes me, though, is the amount of evidence of ordinary, decent human interactions if one looks with an impartial eye. Farangs and Thais in contented long-term relationships, farangs and Thais just having fun together, on the beach, in bars, without pressure, acts of kindness and real assistance performed on both sides. All this shouldn't really be surprising because we are all individuals, farang and Thai alike, who bring a multitude of different desires and expectations with us when we come even to a place of predetermined tawdry reputation like Pattaya. The overall image isn't going to change any time soon; the nuances are there for those who care to notice them.


Thanks Peter. It's made me think of how I act when I have one of the boys on the beach with me. Actually, I try to treat any Thai companion as an equal (that sounds bad, of course they're equal, but I mean 'not as a servant or of lower class'). I even go so far as to make sure my Thai companion has money so he can pay the check-bin at the restaurant. I try always to give him an equal vote in anything we do. I would hate to be thought of any way as that first guy you wrote about. By anybody.

[francois]

One near-bald American,........ His face is a picture of misery, in which suppressed anger looks ever ready to erupt....... He's an embittered, prickly, unhappy old man тАУ in short, not someone you would ever mistake for a ray of sunshine.......


Mon Dieu! What of that Frenchman (?) his facade a masque of powder and mascara, hair tinted black; his lips rouged; a travesty of life; a life of decadence; and that beautiful boy forced to satisfy his every caprice! Disgusting.



Oh, that is just Fran├зois after a night on the town.

[luvthai-2]

Me thinks you have too much time on your hands!

[Smiles]

" ... One near-bald American, probably in his mid-seventies now, has had a horrible fascination in my eyes for a long time. He is there almost every day, always in the same chair. Everything has to be just so and, when he arrives, the staff scurry about attending to his needs with frowning resignation. He strips down to a pair of navy-blue trunks which look more like old-fashioned y-fronts, revealing a pale, waxy body heavily wrinkled by time. His face is a picture of misery, in which suppressed anger looks ever ready to erupt. I've heard from someone who knows him slightly that he can come out with disconcertingly direct and personal questions on first meeting new people. Farangs who occasionally stop at his chair for a few words tend to have a wary look in their eyes. He's an embittered, prickly, unhappy old man тАУ in short, not someone you would ever mistake for a ray of sunshine ... "
Hedda!! I knew it.

[bao-bao]

In comparing in my mind the two scenes тАУ the grim-faced American and his bored boyfriend, the easy-going German (?) and his happy boyfriend тАУ I conclude, as most people probably would, that both couples are getting what they deserve. Everyone shapes his own reality according to the person he has made of himself.
We usually get back what put out there, that's something I learned a long time ago. I'd say it's a close relation to "what goes 'round, comes 'round".

People watching has long been a favorite pastime of mine, and for my money you can't beat a gay beach area like Jomtien.

The "Gay" world has had such a long, colorful history of secretiveness, fear and self-loathing it's come by honestly from the abuse we've all dealt with at some time on some level that it's no wonder that many Old School gays (those over 50 or so, to make a gross generalization) are quirky - and damaged goods in some cases.

One afternoon I watched as a man well past his prime made his way to to the chairs a row ahead of me, young Thai man in tow a couple of steps behind him. The staff knew him by name, so it was obvious he was a regular to the area.

As he settled his ample self into his chair (I think it actually screamed when he dropped himself into it, but it may have only been the strain on the hinges) he began to remove three or four heavy gold-colored chains from his neck and wrists, followed by a gold-colored watch that may have weighed half a kilo on its own and put them into a small "man-bag" he set on the table next to him. While he was doing that he was unfurling a list of complaints in a languid drawl about all and sundry, loud enough for people three meters away to hear quite clearly.

"Oh!" he lamented, after finally stopping to take a breath, "This place is an absolute shit hole! Why anyone would ever want to come here is completely beyond me." He looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to his ranting, but nobody was. That didn't deter him, and his Rented Admirer (as I tend to gently call them I when write on the topic) was also paying no attention to him, but gazing off into the gulf. The look on his face made me think he was fantasizing about a boat ride, some heavy weights and a peaceful ride alone back to shore.

Meanwhile, in the chairs to his left was another couple; also a middle-aged farang and a younger male Thai. The farang seemed mildly disgusted by the display, but the Thai held his hand over his mouth while he giggled. He whispered something to his farang friend, and they both laughed heartily. The first man, lost in his own world, didn't seem to notice.

We do, indeed, often reap what we sow. Nice piece, Peter.

[travelerjim]

" ... One near-bald American, probably in his mid-seventies now, has had a horrible fascination in my eyes for a long time. He is there almost every day, always in the same chair. Everything has to be just so and, when he arrives, the staff scurry about attending to his needs with frowning resignation. He strips down to a pair of navy-blue trunks which look more like old-fashioned y-fronts, revealing a pale, waxy body heavily wrinkled by time. His face is a picture of misery, in which suppressed anger looks ever ready to erupt. I've heard from someone who knows him slightly that he can come out with disconcertingly direct and personal questions on first meeting new people. Farangs who occasionally stop at his chair for a few words tend to have a wary look in their eyes. He's an embittered, prickly, unhappy old man тАУ in short, not someone you would ever mistake for a ray of sunshine ... "
Hedda!! I knew it.

:laughing3: :laughing3: :laughing3:

[Smiles]

Yes well ...

Peter has been writing these short stories on this board (and a few others) for many years now, and each one read gives hope that more of that sort of quiet power-observing will be attempted by others as well. Sometimes the push works, sometimes not.

Peter has been our (Pot and myself that is to say) good friend for a long time now, having met in 2001 in Chiang Mai ~ his own personal bordello back then.
As far as friendships are concerned ... I've not once regretted that initial wary meet up (we originally conversed on a message board: thus the wariness). We still to this day get together once or twice a year either in Jomtien or Hua Hin ... and I'll do my best to make sure we always do.
As far as a writer is concerned ... he is a mentor as well: I'm envious and admiring all mixed up together at his style (altogether different than mine) and sly, observant humanity.

There you are Peter. Next exuberant gushing? About ten more years down the road.

__________________________________________________ _______________

For those who do not already know: Peter has written a book of short stories about gay (mostly) Thailand entitled 'If Truth Be Told': http://www.stickyrice.ws/?view=iftruth. You won't be disappointed in either the read, or the investment.
I believe it's available at some of the Asia Books stores in Pattaya. I'm sure a PM to Peter via this Board will elicit more accurate information on where to pick it up.

[corky]

Jomtien beach is a good place to relax, socialise or just observe. I particularly enjoy observing тАУ the boys, of course, but also my fellow-farangs......

A nicely written piece but you also reveal a lot about your own character.
You don't admit to have ever spoken to these people you happily write about - you know nothing about them but you happily draw conclusions about their personalities and relationships. You look from a distance and then broadcast what you think.
You appear to be a typical deleted flaming

[Smiles]

... A nicely written piece but you also reveal a lot about your own character.
You don't admit to have ever spoken to these people you happily write about - you know nothing about them but you happily draw conclusions about their personalities and relationships. You look from a distance and then broadcast what you think... "
... as writers and story-tellers do everyday, and from the beginning of time.
This criticism is utter bunkum.


" ... You appear to be a typical deleted flaming ... "
Oh for christ sake Mr Mod (whichever one you are), that's not a 'flame' ... though undoubtedly there was a pithy insult of tiny importance, now deleted unnecessarily with the old Heavy Hand.
Insults are simply low brow opinions (Corky's being one) and are hardly a violation of the Board Guidelines. His opinion of Peter was quite obviously not calculated to start a Flame War.
What's allowed here as insults? Girly talk only? Prissy nudge nudge wink winks?
The usual over-moderation gone wild ... once again.

And ~ once again ~ the Mods do not follow their own Guidelines. Posting Rule #6 specifically states that:
"A Moderating action/decision will be clearly explained (in red text) within the post or thread in question, and the explanation will include a reference to the specific Guideline deemed violated."
The colour's wrong, and the reference is missing.

I'm not trying to be picayune here. The Guidelines were changed for many reasons, one of them being that the Mods actually read them . . . the other that they actually refer to, and follow them when making decisions.
Why can't Da Boss seem to make this crystal clear to his Mods? (As promised).

[PeterUK]

You don't admit to have ever spoken to these people you happily write about - you know nothing about them but you happily draw conclusions about their personalities and relationships. You look from a distance and then broadcast what you think.

All of us (including you) regularly form and express opinions about others based on their appearance, their behaviour, what we might have overheard them say and the reactions of other people to them. It's what we do as human beings and it means that we DO know something about them. I grant you that actually speaking to them might sometimes modify our opinion, but the world (and message boards!) would be a much more boring place if that were a prerequisite. To forestall a related objection, let me add that I changed a few minor details in order to protect the identity of the main characters.



You appear to be a typical deleted flaming

I'm sure the moderator meant well but I'd much rather know what I typically am than be left to speculate on the matter. So hard to narrow down all the unpleasant possibilities...


Anyway, my thanks to all for their feedback, particularly Smiles for his many kind comments. Contrary to the rumours circulating in certain dank, dark corners of cyberspace, he's a real sweetie pie. (And that's an opinion based, among other things, on a LOT of speaking by both of us, so it should carry the corky seal of approval).

[francois]

To forestall a related objection, let me add that I changed a few minor details in order to protect the identity of the main characters.
.

Wait, wait, don't tell me! The miserable American was actually a Frenchman and the kindly German was a Brit?

[martin911]

Jomtien beach is a good place to relax, socialise or just observe. I particularly enjoy observing тАУ the boys, of course, but also my fellow-farangs......

A nicely written piece but you also reveal a lot about your own character.
You don't admit to have ever spoken to these people you happily write about - you know nothing about them but you happily draw conclusions about their personalities and relationships. You look from a distance and then broadcast what you think.
You appear to be a typical deleted flaming

I really dont thinks it is rocket science to have formed the opinion that PeterUK did based on what he saw and Heard !!!

what have you got your kickers in such a twist for ???

Unless you happen to be a man of a certain age with a penchant for tacky gold jewellery and the most ridicilous (INMO) item a man should wear -A Man Bag :occasion9:

[Beachlover]

PeterUK... Interesting observations. I'm sure we've all seen this sort of thing and had similar thoughts. It can be entertaining watching people with no self awareness!


I don't know if the Thai is 'in love' with the farang, but I'd say he undoubtedly loves him as a person...
Totally agree... I've always believed in making the best of what you've got... e.g. someone might not be young and good looking anymore but they can still dress well, stay fit and be a really nice and genuinely likable character, which is what this guy seems to have done - good on him. He's made the best of those things, which are still in his control.

This is why it always surprises me when I see guys like the less desirable ones described by PeterUK/BaoBao. If you're trying to date a younger guy but are past your prime, why would you not make an effort with those things that are still in your control instead of being a dickhead, getting fat and dressing poorly? You can't reverse aging but you can at least still be a genuinely nice guy and maybe stay fit... that way your BF might not find you overly sexy but will still love you as a person.


The "Gay" world has had such a long, colorful history of secretiveness, fear and self-loathing it's come by honestly from the abuse we've all dealt with at some time on some level that it's no wonder that many Old School gays (those over 50 or so, to make a gross generalization) are quirky - and damaged goods in some cases.
Christ... So true! As a "younger generation" gay, coming across these kind of guys and trying to understand how they got that way and why there are so many of them has been interesting. I call them bitter old **** for want of a better term. Lots and lots of them on this forum (less so now). When I come across them in real life - and this happens occasionally - I just steer right clear of them!

You get the immediate impression they resent you just for being young and having fun.

[Smiles]

" ... It can be entertaining watching people with no self awareness! ... "
Well lar-dee-dah. That's what a majority on this Board have been doing with you ... these very long years.
There's no business like show business Beachtowel, and no beating inane observations from those lacking-in-self-awareness purportedly observing others who lack self-awareness.

ASIDE: Just for the hell of it I plugged in the words 'self awareness' into Sawatdee Search with 'Beachlover' as the author. Results? 3 pages of posts using those words.
Now I can understand results such as that coming up using the word 'the' or 'and' and suchlike. But 'self awareness'? No, this is a man possessed ... by his own sublime lack of.

[Beachlover]

So ironic to see who posts next! Smiles you fit into the category of gay described above under Bao Bao's quote perfectly!

You have this urge to put down anyone who's young, having fun or maybe not perfect... cdnmatt, me, the husband hunter. It's just this bitter itch you need to scratch and for what reason, most of your targets can never work out because it's really caused by your bitter old **** syndrome. Nothing to do with them.

These snipes are pretty much all you post these days... sad really.