Molested bar bois

[Impulse]

have you ever wondered if the guy you offed from the bar was molested?,assuming you might be into that.
I've been watching some shows about it since the Penn state scandal broke a month ago here in the states.For some reason if one has been molested as a child,there is a strong tendency to work in the sex industry....or manifest a sex addiction,maybe drugs and alcohol. Very often there is a great amount of guilt and shame which fosters low self esteem.
Maybe not so much here in los,as they don't appear to be as hung up about sex matters as in the west.It's very sad to think a child lost their innocence at a young age and to have them so negativly affected.Unknown to their conscious mind they are often drawn to others who abuse them,and they have a hard time establishing relationships as they have lost trust in others.
It would be better if those that come to work in Pattaya...just need the money.

[pong]

some are-like probably anywhere in this world. You often-after having gained enough trust, can hear stories about always drunk fathers who hit anyone in their area-not just this son. Had no time to see that FB-thing, so do not know if it applies. Specific for Thaild seems that often male teachers are named-and just like actors or haircutmen in the west, indeed the Thai believe they are more likely to be gay.
From female prossies it is widely known they make up a lot of those stories as it ups the tips and it confirms to the usual expectations. OTOH there are also loads of farang-clients who abuse the boys. The most horrendous stories (often just parrotted) circulate among the boys not that long in the trade about that.

So....what about the sex, drug, and alcohol addicted Punters - were they all molested too?


:dontknow:

have you ever wondered if the guy you offed from the bar was molested?,assuming you might be into that.
I've been watching some shows about it since the Penn state scandal broke a month ago here in the states.For some reason if one has been molested as a child,there is a strong tendency to work in the sex industry....or manifest a sex addiction,maybe drugs and alcohol. Very often there is a great amount of guilt and shame which fosters low self esteem.
Maybe not so much here in los,as they don't appear to be as hung up about sex matters as in the west.It's very sad to think a child lost their innocence at a young age and to have them so negativly affected.Unknown to their conscious mind they are often drawn to others who abuse them,and they have a hard time establishing relationships as they have lost trust in others.
It would be better if those that come to work in Pattaya...just need the money.

Why would you assume we might be into that?

have you ever wondered if the guy you offed from the bar was molested?,assuming you might be into that.
I've been watching some shows about it since the Penn state scandal broke a month ago here in the states.For some reason if one has been molested as a child,there is a strong tendency to work in the sex industry....or manifest a sex addiction,maybe drugs and alcohol. Very often there is a great amount of guilt and shame which fosters low self esteem.
Maybe not so much here in los,as they don't appear to be as hung up about sex matters as in the west.It's very sad to think a child lost their innocence at a young age and to have them so negativly affected.Unknown to their conscious mind they are often drawn to others who abuse them,and they have a hard time establishing relationships as they have lost trust in others.
It would be better if those that come to work in Pattaya...just need the money.

Why would you assume we might be into that?

I think he means .... assuming you might be into offing boys from bars......rather than any more disturbing meaning

But who knows?

:occasion9:

[cdnmatt]

Have any of the go-go boys working in the bars been sexually molested without desiring it?

huh, I fucking wonder.... good question! Will have to think long and hard about that one.

Scottish-Guy you could be right but when I read the post that is not the way I understood it. Maybe he will clarify

[thrillbill]

...I think most ???? Thai young men choose to become "money boys" ..."go-go boys"..."commercial boys" because it is easier to make 1000 baht or more in a trick than to work for 200 baht (or less) a day; or even less if one is stuck in a village in Isaan or up north. Along with this decision, doing this doesn't carry as much "guilt baggage" or shame as one would get in the West. It is hard for Westerners to understand that not everyone in Thai society has "equal opportunity" though Thais may even have a college education or the smarts to excel in a job. Where you come from, your name, knowing the right people and evern your age and looks can decide if you are ripe for employment or not.

[fedssocr]

well, some guys are making Bt1000+ frequently, but after having spent a good deal of time in gogo bars recently I have a hard time believing that a lot of guys working get offed at all. I know that it's all in the eye of the beholder, but there are some really unattractive guys working in gogo bars these days. I would guess the guys not getting offed probably don't last long in the business though.

I found myself on my recent trip thinking a lot about the folks working in relatively low-paying jobs like store clerks. I have a lot of respect for folks working hard in those jobs for not a lot of money. And I was scratching my head in places like Central and how in the world they can afford to hire staff at a ratio of about 1:1 with the customers. Granted most of their staff are nice eye candy so I can't complain too much.

[Impulse]

have you ever wondered if the guy you offed from the bar was molested?,assuming you might be into that.
I've been watching some shows about it since the Penn state scandal broke a month ago here in the states.For some reason if one has been molested as a child,there is a strong tendency to work in the sex industry....or manifest a sex addiction,maybe drugs and alcohol. Very often there is a great amount of guilt and shame which fosters low self esteem.
Maybe not so much here in los,as they don't appear to be as hung up about sex matters as in the west.It's very sad to think a child lost their innocence at a young age and to have them so negativly affected.Unknown to their conscious mind they are often drawn to others who abuse them,and they have a hard time establishing relationships as they have lost trust in others.
It would be better if those that come to work in Pattaya...just need the money.

Why would you assume we might be into that?
Scottish-Guy is right,I meant if you off guys from bars,not if you're into molesting them.But they are over 18 so I wouldn't call it molesting....though some might argue that point.

[loke]

No I dont think so many Thais have been sexually molested as kids , (because kids are the future here and is the rescue for most parents when they get old so they are protected and loved here by the family) .

But I know for a fact that they have been beaten by their very drunk father , and this is a common problem in poor families.
So you will find scars on the boys and some of them had to escape away from it all.

But some of the really sad stories is the boys that do not have a family , they could end up being sold as sex slaves at a very young age.

[pong]

[quote="fedssocr"]well, some guys are making Bt1000+ frequently, but after having spent a good deal of time in gogo bars recently I have a hard time believing that a lot of guys working get offed at all. I know that it's all in the eye of the beholder, but there are some really unattractive guys working in gogo bars these days. I would guess the guys not getting offed probably don't last long in the business though.

quote]
Bars have 2 types of boys: some stay on forever-and have learnt all the tricks, and a giant nr of short time floats, who then discover pretty soon that this job is not for them, for whatever reason (though looks are not the main one). The BIG advantage of massage/bar jobs is that the boys can work short time, not every day, go home for the rice season etc-what normal jobs do not allow.

[pong]

to loke: there are also a great lot of kids in Thaild in broken families or whose current poh is not their real father.
In Indonesia I learnt that a fair lot of boys I met there were like raped/molested if you wish, at pretty young age by father or uncle/family and that many of them were kind of looking for the same-but a bit gentler.

[Dboy]

I have some fresh statistics on this..in the US, 1/6 of boys are molested, and 1/4 girls (I know this sounds really high, but as an American, and seeing the state of this culture, the numbers sound about right to me). It would be interesting to see if there's a correlation between being molested and becoming a bar boy/girl; but it's much more likely imo that a stronger correlation would exist in poverty level....seems to me that it's more likely (in Thailand at least) to end up in the bars due to poverty rather than due to psychological issues. I suspect that working in the bars is more likely to CREATE the psychological issues than being the cause of being there.

[Brad the Impala]

I have some fresh statistics on this..in the US, 1/6 of boys are molested, and 1/4 girls (I know this sounds really high, but as an American, and seeing the state of this culture, the numbers sound about right to me).

Surprising statistics, as you say. Could you give us the source

I have some fresh statistics on this..in the US, 1/6 of boys are molested, and 1/4 girls (I know this sounds really high, but as an American, and seeing the state of this culture, the numbers sound about right to me).

Surprising statistics, as you say. Could you give us the source

The defintion of "molested" would also help.

In the UK you can consider yourself "assaulted" nowadays if somebody tells you to "fuck off"

:occasion9:

[Impulse]

I have some fresh statistics on this..in the US, 1/6 of boys are molested, and 1/4 girls (I know this sounds really high, but as an American, and seeing the state of this culture, the numbers sound about right to me).

Surprising statistics, as you say. Could you give us the source I heard that same statistic also.From a couple of sources,one being Dr Drew,the other was an article in the Wall Street journal.

[Shuee]

why do you highlight the fact to bar boys?, as it happens in all walks of life in all countries, some more than others, id say mainly asia where families live in a larger units, or younger siblings are looked after by uncles or neighbours etc in the villages as parents go to work in the cities

[AKAHagrid-old]

Surprising statistics, as you say. Could you give us the source

These numbers seem high to me as well. What constitutes "child"? What constitutes "molest"?:

Even researchers with a vested interest in skewing the results admit:
Estimates of the number of children who are sexually abused vary so widely from study to study - 3 percent to 54 percent - that they become almost useless.

This wide variation occurs because of the lack of standardized definitions of the terms "child molestation" and "child." For example, one study will define child molestation as touch only and another as touch and non-touch. Also, information-gathering techniques and study populations vary widely, which makes comparisons between studies difficult. The field is further hampered because of failure to standardize the age of the child. One study's directors will use 18 years as the outer limit of "child," another will use 16 years, and others will use 14 or 13 years.

SOURCE: http://www.childmolestationprevention.o ... /study.pdf (http://www.childmolestationprevention.org/pdfs/study.pdf)

Bottom line: Tell me what statistics you want, and I can craft a study that will give you those stats.

[bucknaway]

Is the real question how many guys are forced to work in a gogo bar?
I know they try to force me into them as I walk by.... :dontknow:

[Dboy]

http://www.jimhopper.com/male-ab/

http://1in6.org/

http://www.sesamenet.org/male_vics.html

http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/chi ... -abuse.asp (http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/child-sexual-abuse.asp)

[danny99]

I have some fresh statistics on this..in the US, 1/6 of boys are molested.

I have great problem with the word 'molested'. Or to quote police reports and the wild press...touched inappropiately!

Many teenboys from all levels of home background, make friends with a mature guy who they can relax with, and more often than not enjoy the occasional HJ [or BJ if you are American]...is this molesting?

Funny how these same boys keep returning at all hours 'just to say hello'!

Funny how these American lads allegedly get a BJ when the rest of the worlds boys apparently have to settle for a HJ.

I also have difficulty believing this is run-of-the-mill behaviour at all.

:sign5:

[francois]

Funny how these American lads allegedly get a BJ when the rest of the worlds boys apparently have to settle for a HJ.
I also have difficulty believing this is run-of-the-mill behaviour at all.
:sign5:

HJ = Head Job??

[Brad the Impala]

http://www.jimhopper.com/male-ab/

http://1in6.org/

http://www.sesamenet.org/male_vics.html

http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/chi ... -abuse.asp (http://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/pages/child-sexual-abuse.asp)

I find these sources lacking in credibility, given that the first two seem to be part of the "Recovered Memory of Sexual Abuse" and ritual satanic abuse school, that caused so many children to unjustifiably be removed from their families on the flimsiest of evidence. Most of the children were subsequently returned to their families as this theory was discredited. The theory had been that the abused had suppressed memories of their abuse, but that specialist psychologists could reach into their subconscious and expose it.

The last two link starts by stating " it is known that..." and "it is believed that........." quoting statistics without any source.

[maisoui]

It is hard for Westerners to understand that not everyone in Thai society has "equal opportunity" though Thais may even have a college education or the smarts to excel in a job. Where you come from, your name, knowing the right people and evern your age and looks can decide if you are ripe for employment or not.

Just like anywhere. I didn't go to Eton so am not likely to become PM of the UK or Thailand. When I was in my early twenties a yakuza, whom I was smitten by, working the St. James club scene, groomed me and offered me an escort connection with a well-known actor who must be bisexual. If I hadn't declined I might not be in my current position. My mothers family were landowning English nobility and my father's family flotsam of the imperial regiments*, like Anna Leonowens. You are who you construct yourself as and nobody constructs themselves as simplistically as the roles talked about on this board.

Both my grandfather and I have served in Poonah/Pune - he as a Lance Corporal and me overseeing the development of software for a major global bank.

[Beachlover]

I have some fresh statistics on this..in the US, 1/6 of boys are molested.
I have great problem with the word 'molested'. Or to quote police reports and the wild press...touched inappropiately!

Many teenboys from all levels of home background, make friends with a mature guy who they can relax with, and more often than not enjoy the occasional HJ [or BJ if you are American]...is this molesting?

Funny how these same boys keep returning at all hours 'just to say hello'!
Yes... if the teenager is under the age of consent and you're an adult, then it's both wrong and illegal.

Them coming back doesn't justify it. You don't let a drug dealer go just because his addicts "kept coming back just to say hello" do you?

I'm intrigued with the idea above - that there are two "tests" - one being the legality (which is clear-cut) and the other being Beachy's idea of what he considers to be "wrong"

So, Beachy, let's say hypothetically that a teenager is OVER the age of consent and the other partner is an adult who is considerably older - is that "wrong" too (let's assume the teenager isn't retarded and there's no coercion involved).

Do you actually accept at all, that some teenagers may be genuinely attracted to older men?
Or do you just have a knee-jerk reaction to the whole idea?

In your answer, if you could avoid conflating such an idea with drug-dealers, serial killers, or insane zombie axemen on the loose, it would be helpful - not to mention more credible.

:sign5:

[Beachlover]

let's say hypothetically that a teenager is OVER the age of consent and the other partner is an adult who is considerably older - is that "wrong" too
Not wrong. But I don't think that's the scenario Danny99 is referring to when he talks about boys/girls being molested.


Do you actually accept at all, that some teenagers may be genuinely attracted to older men?
Yes... totally. The fact that he/she might be attracted to an older man doesn't make it right for the older man/woman to take advantage of him/her.

I mean, that would be like a serial killer taking advantage of the fact that a hitchhiker voluntarily got in his car.

[quote=scottish-guy] let's say hypothetically that a teenager is OVER the age of consent and the other partner is an adult who is considerably older - is that "wrong" too
Not wrong. But I don't think that's the scenario Danny99 is referring to when he talks about boys/girls being molested.


Do you actually accept at all, that some teenagers may be genuinely attracted to older men?
Yes... totally. The fact that he/she might be attracted to an older man doesn't make it right for the older man/woman to take advantage of him/her.

I mean, that would be like a serial killer taking advantage of the fact that a hitchhiker voluntarily got in his car.[/quote:3amgeck7]

which is pretty much like saying .. now look here young man/woman .. we know that you prefer to have sex with older men/woman .. but it is not allowed .. we know it isnt against the law.. but ...we can not allow you to be taken avantage of .... so now its no sex for you until you understand how wrong this is ...and once you understand it you will be forced to have sex with younger people of a simular age to yourself ....
* the laws of sex* by beachlover at all good bookstores now...

Beachlover, your posts on this subject are becoming increasingly absurd - first you compare legal and consensual sex where there is an age-gap with drug-dealing and when taken to task for that comparison, you then bizarrely compare it to serial killing.

No we know that in your mind you are God's Gift to the young gay world community - but could you try to keep some sense of proportion, after all we don't want people to think you're some kind of weirdo.

:occasion9:

[Beachlover]

Do you actually accept at all, that some teenagers may be genuinely attracted to older men?
Yes... totally. The fact that he/she might be attracted to an older man doesn't make it right for the older man/woman to take advantage of him/her.

I mean, that would be like a serial killer taking advantage of the fact that a hitchhiker voluntarily got in his car.
My post above doesn't read as it should... either I miss-typed or there's been an edit.

It should read along the lines of... "Yes... totally. But if he/she is under the age of consent, the fact that he/she might be attracted to an older man doesn't make it right for the older man/woman to take advantage of him/her."

Legal and consensual when both parties are above the age of consent is fine.

Scottish... the serial killer analogy was a joke for your benefit! :rolling:

The drug dealer analogy was simply to demonstrate that "someone keeps coming back" doesn't justify criminal behaviour as Danny99 seems to imply.

[Neal]

Beach the post was done about 9am on Dec 28th. I have reviewed all moderator logs for Dec 28th and while it is nice that you suggest that one of us edited your post, I can assure you it was not one of us.

....The drug dealer analogy was simply to demonstrate that "someone keeps coming back" doesn't justify criminal behaviour as Danny99 seems to imply.

Danny99 did not refer to criminal behaviour at all and the only room for speculatation in his post was that he did not put an age qualification on "teenboys" - so, basically, you took the implication you wanted to take.

:dontknow: :dontknow:

and he still hasnt mentioned his sex book for wierdos is on sale at all good newsagents now ...
or maybe hes only intrested in putting you right today scotty ... you lucky man :laughing3:

[Impulse]

....The drug dealer analogy was simply to demonstrate that "someone keeps coming back" doesn't justify criminal behaviour as Danny99 seems to imply.

Danny99 did not refer to criminal behaviour at all and the only room for speculatation in his post was that he did not put an age qualification on "teenboys" - so, basically, you took the implication you wanted to take.

:dontknow: :dontknow: I think Beachlover is right. Molesting meaning under the age of consent.Danny99 made it sound like it was okay to have sex with a teen under the age of consent if it was okay with the teen.

[danny99]

Yes... if the teenager is under the age of consent and you're an adult, then it's both wrong and illegal.

Them coming back doesn't justify it. You don't let a drug dealer go just because his addicts "kept coming back just to say hello" do you?

Who said anything about 'age of consent'? Do you have any idea of the varying ages of consent from one ccountry to another? As far as I know it ranges from 14 to 21 depending on that countries attitudes. 16 is the most common for girls, 18 for boys, but many are now standardising at 16. The world has a squillion teenage boys who are OVER the age of consent, whatever country you are in!

I love these people who think that whatever laws apply in their own country should also apply in everyone elses.

[Beachlover]

Danny99 did not refer to criminal behaviour at all and the only room for speculatation in his post was that he did not put an age qualification on "teenboys" - so, basically, you took the implication you wanted to take.
As Rocket correctly pointed out, Danny99's post referred to "molesting"... this suggests criminal behaviour. He speaks out against the way people label it "molesting" when both parties are consenting (regardless of whether their age makes them eligible to give consent). This suggests he's referring to "teenboys" who are below the age of consent, where an adult would be considered to be "molesting" them if they slept together.

I also recall (but won't dig up) a previous post on a news article where Danny99's presented the same opinion and where it was explicitly clear he was talking about an under-AOC boy. It's just wrong. People like him selfishly do what's convenient and what meets their whims rather than what's right by principle and logical rationale.


Who said anything about 'age of consent'? Do you have any idea of the varying ages of consent from one ccountry to another? As far as I know it ranges from 14 to 21 depending on that countries attitudes. 16 is the most common for girls, 18 for boys, but many are now standardising at 16. The world has a squillion teenage boys who are OVER the age of consent, whatever country you are in!

I love these people who think that whatever laws apply in their own country should also apply in everyone elses.
So firstly, you comply with the AOC in the country you're in. In Thailand, I believe it's 16 normally and 18 for prostitution. Secondly, I believe many Western countries, including Australia, have laws against its citizens going overseas to have sex with m****s.


Beach the post was done about 9am on Dec 28th. I have reviewed all moderator logs for Dec 28th and while it is nice that you suggest that one of us edited your post, I can assure you it was not one of us.
Must've been a typo then... Thanks for checking.

Hope no offense was taken... it was only suggested as one possibility, not an accusation.

absolutely no offense. I just did not want to start a big squabble that we deleted the post and everyone getting excited again.