When you replace genuine encounters with paid encounters

[Beachlover]

Not all gay guys visit or live in Thailand for the prostitution but quite a few do.

I reckon there's nothing wrong with using a prostitute once or every now and then and it's great that you enjoy it. But I wonder if you consider all the implications when you choose to replace genuinely formed encounters and relationships with paid sex in Thailand altogether. Maybe you do, maybe you don't...

I'm not talking about occasional users. I'm talking about those who make prostitutes their primary type of sex partner. Some do it because they can't get the type of guys they like without paying. Others don't need to but do it anyway.

I believe a genuinely formed encounter or relationship is more fulfilling and builds you up as a person.

The challenge of working for something, even a one night stand, is part of the reward. Nothing can replace the satisfaction and how the learning experience enhances you as a person. You can't replicate the way genuinely-formed encounters and relationships fulfill and enrich your life. It's a perfect example showing how money can't buy everything.

There's so much to be gained from sex and relationships in life and you lose so much of that if all you do is walk into a gogo bar to pick something off a stage every time. Sure, it's fun to do it occasionally but if you make a life out of paying hookers for sex, aren't you missing out on so much more?

One night a while back, I mentioned to Combat that I didn't manage to chat up a particularly hot guy I liked and he replied with this comment. I hope he doesn't mind me sharing it here. I think it sums things up nicely...

Going to a disco and seeing a guy you fancy, succeeding some nights, but not succeeding on another is what life's all about.
Don't get me wrong - I'm not having a go at everyone who uses prostitutes and saying it's all bad. I'm just looking at it objectively and asking if any of you looked several steps ahead before choosing to make prostitutes your mainstay.

Did any of you consider these wider implications prostitution would have on yourself and factor this in when making that decision? How did you reason with it?

I hope he doesn't mind me sharing it here. I think it sums things up nicely...

I don't mind at all.

As for going to Thailand and buying sex/companionship I would say it doesn't happen as often with the younger tourist as with the older ones. Perhaps the older ones who want the nighttime company of younger males think they might be too old to chat and pick up as they did when younger, or they just can't be bothered, and possibly face rejection. If they are going to Thailand because of the boys, and don't get any companionship back home then obviously they want as much fun in a relatively short time as possible. I remember being out with the Author of a well known Thailand Gay Travel Guide many years ago who told me that one of the good points about the Go-Go Bar scene, with the availability of many young guys was that some of the older visitors had probably never had either a cuddle or a kiss (forget about the rest) for many, many months if not years.

[Beachlover]

I remember being out with the Author of a well known Thailand Gay Travel Guide many years ago who told me that one of the good points about the Go-Go Bar scene, with the availability of many young guys was that some of the older visitors had probably never had either a cuddle or a kiss (forget about the rest) for many, many months if not years.
Yeah, I actually think it's fantastic that this service is available. How miserable it would be not to have sex or sexual companionship...

So many members just assume I'm against it in a simplistic way but I wouldn't be posting rational and reasoned comments like this if I was. I guess the difference between me and many members here is I'm more able to comment objectively about it as I don't have my head buried in it, nor am I reliant on it. I'm also open minded enough not to dismiss it and the people who participate in it, as a lot of younger guys or guys who don't go near it do with prejudice.

Over 50% of the threads and posts on this forum are related to prostitution so I think it's just healthy to discuss and look at it objectively once in a while. There's good sides and bad sides to it.

I posted a longer thread about what I thought of it overall earlier in the year: sex-and-relationships-with-prostitutes-t20569.html (http://www.sawatdee-gay-thailand.com/forum/sex-and-relationships-with-prostitutes-t20569.html)

[latintopxxx]

...all depends why one buys a boy...I love doing it in Thailand because of the physcological kick...boys are cheap and subservient...for me its the power that it gives me....treat them like objects...in fact don"t even acknowledge their presence...I can generally speaking hook up fairly easy in Europe...at a bar or website...but that involves work....in Thailand its all about me...my pleasure...what can the rent boy do to please me ....its a kick....

...all depends why one buys a boy...I love doing it in Thailand because of the physcological kick...boys are cheap and subservient...for me its the power that it gives me....treat them like objects...in fact don"t even acknowledge their presence...I can generally speaking hook up fairly easy in Europe...at a bar or website...but that involves work....in Thailand its all about me...my pleasure...what can the rent boy do to please me ....its a kick....
what a wonderful human being you seem to be :sign3:

[martin911]

...all depends why one buys a boy...I love doing it in Thailand because of the physcological kick...boys are cheap and subservient...for me its the power that it gives me....treat them like objects...in fact don"t even acknowledge their presence...I can generally speaking hook up fairly easy in Europe...at a bar or website...but that involves work....in Thailand its all about me...my pleasure...what can the rent boy do to please me ....its a kick....
what a wonderful human being you seem to be :sign3:


Yet another guy whose Mother must be so proud off !! :snorting: :snorting: -- do you really think like that or are you only trying to wind people up ???

martin911 not to sure who you are refering to there .. if its me you need to read a few of my other posts .. then have another go !!! lordy mumma!!

[lexusgs]

...all depends why one buys a boy...I love doing it in Thailand because of the physcological kick...boys are cheap and subservient...for me its the power that it gives me....treat them like objects...in fact don"t even acknowledge their presence...I can generally speaking hook up fairly easy in Europe...at a bar or website...but that involves work....in Thailand its all about me...my pleasure...what can the rent boy do to please me ....its a kick....

Come on Latintopxxx, your just a wind up merchant. Nice try though. You can find (like myself) the same thing relatively easy nowadays in Europe. Or at least you can where I am from in the UK.

[martin911]

martin911 not to sure who you are refering to there .. if its me you need to read a few of my other posts .. then have another go !!! lordy mumma!!

Sorry Bt --i was only reffering to Latin -- my bad !!

[bucknaway]

I think it is what it is... If a guy wants a relationship started without payment than good on him. But try dating a guy in the USA without dinner, gifts, taking them places and spending your cash. I will tell you what you will get, NOTHING!

There is always some form of payment when it comes to dating. If you are dating a guy that does not give head, you sure don't say to them, "Suck my cock and I will write you a check," You write them the check first and if it is big enough they will gladly go down on you if only for that one time. Either that or you buy them a flat screen smart TV or an Apple Iphone or Ipad.

I myself am more interested in your story and what is it about Thai sex workers that gives you an ax to grind?

I myself have nothing against Thailand and how its people make a living. Hell, here in the USA, in Vegas. Prostitution is legal :3some:

[lexusgs]

This has got to be one of the dumbest questions posted on a GAY thailand board. Just another example of the posters unhealthy obsession with other peoples lives and looking for a reaction to enhance his dull existence.

[netrix]

beach, some guys simply don't get what you're talking about and don't care
to see through any perspective but their own.

i've said it so many times on this forum i'm losing count...
not all gay tourists in thailand are interested in money boys. i have quite a
few gay friends who travel to thailand and didn't even know about the gogo
scene until i told them. while some people on this forum are trying to figure
out how to "unify the whole gay community" ... what they don't realize is that
there's a whole "community" of gays who would want nothing to do with them.
they live in different worlds, why should they have the same wants or desires
or interests?

AND...

not all gay thai guys are interested in getting paid. some of them have
never been in a gogo bar and you couldn't twist their arm to get them to go.

there are a LOT of gay young western guys in bangkok and yes even in pattaya
who don't even know this forum exists, much less care about what an off fee is
for a waiter vs. a gogo boy.

if you don't have any trouble finding guys to date in your own country, then
being a gay tourist in thailand is fun and easy without ever paying for a hooker.
i go sometimes with friends, it's fun to catch a show and flirt with the guys and
the mamasans, have a few drinks, listen to the music...then go do something else.

i hope when i'm older i'm not so grumpy and filled with entitlement that going out
isn't still for fun.

[lexusgs]

beach, some guys simply don't get what you're talking about and don't care
to see through any perspective but their own.

i've said it so many times on this forum i'm losing count...
not all gay tourists in thailand are interested in money boys. i have quite a
few gay friends who travel to thailand and didn't even know about the gogo
scene until i told them. while some people on this forum are trying to figure
out how to "unify the whole gay community" ... what they don't realize is that
there's a whole "community" of gays who would want nothing to do with them.
they live in different worlds, why should they have the same wants or desires
or interests?

AND...

not all gay thai guys are interested in getting paid. some of them have
never been in a gogo bar and you couldn't twist their arm to get them to go.

there are a LOT of gay young western guys in bangkok and yes even in pattaya
who don't even know this forum exists, much less care about what an off fee is
for a waiter vs. a gogo boy.

if you don't have any trouble finding guys to date in your own country, then
being a gay tourist in thailand is fun and easy without ever paying for a hooker.
i go sometimes with friends, it's fun to catch a show and flirt with the guys and
the mamasans, have a few drinks, listen to the music...then go do something else.

i hope when i'm older i'm not so grumpy and filled with entitlement that going out
isn't still for fun.

Read the question again. He's asking WHY guys on this forum replace genuine encounters with 'paid sex'. Speaking from experience as I have both lived and worked in Thailand the majority pay. What's with the age thing? Nothing to do with age and I don't think most guys here are grumpy. I'm sure like me we all get plenty of free sex if that's what we want. The point is there is nothing wrong with going down another route if that's what guys prefer. What exactly is anyone missing out on if they have a paid encounter? Your first line says it all....you're only looking from your own perspective. Age had very little to do with it in Thailand and I'm speaking from experience.

[mj_87-old]

BL - In one of your previous posts you indicated that people who have and make more money are more important people. I think that is a fucked view of the measurement of human beings...but that is your view.

Playing on that view...I pay for sex because by giving the boy more money than he could earn scratching around in the rice paddy I am making him a better human being. In your view isn't he a much more valuable member of society (making more money) when he takes my money for letting me stick my cock up his ass and in his mouth?

[dab69]

This has got to be one of the dumbest questions posted on a GAY thailand board. Just another example of the posters unhealthy obsession with other peoples lives and looking for a reaction to enhance his dull existence.



saves me posting the same / couldn't have done better

advice should come from people that know shit
*help* is when someone asks for it
all else is nosey interference

to the moron that keeps pm'ing me - stop
I won't read pms

[latintopxxx]

I was being totally genuine with my reply, sex is not only physical (obvious I guess..) and I enjoy a bit of role play...in northern europe money boys whilst not scarce are pricey and picky about what they will will be subjected to...in southern Europe it can be down right dangerous if u push a rent boy too far...Brazil & South Africa it can be a bit easier...but nothing beats Thailand for boys willing to be your personal sex toy slave piece of furniture for the price of a meal in Berlin....
Most times the only interaction I have is when selecting him, beating down the price (this is a major part of the game...), making double sure he understands I'm booking him for a set period of time, usually 3 hours, (not just one fuck or cum) and that I want/expect all...deep throat/gagging, anal, rimming...when I want as many times as I'm able to...simply enjoy that he is there for my pleasure...its a kink...can initiate or stop without have to ask or explain...totally selfish...its about me....if I've shot 2 or 3 times and still got time will roll over onto my stomarch and bury his face in my arse till he gets lock jaw...while I watch TV...basically the kink is a combination of power, humiliation...I paid for the boy and want my money"s worth...boy has to work for the money...love seeing how far I can push them for the pittance I pay...fav is boy on the edge of the bed on his back, legs in the air...I'm standing...pounding his butt..use long strokes...kinda almost pull out and as his ring is about to close pound it back in deep...he might start tight but by the time I'm finished I leave a sloppy hole...then lift one leg..place my foot on his face and pound away...double humiliation...
another fav is both standing..fucking doggy style, insert the index fingers of both hands in his mouth so I can steer him/grab hold of him and ride him like a pony..all the while snickering...I get pleasure out of his humiliation....enjoy using the boy as a pice of furniure..either to sit on while i check emails...or as an ornament..on a coffee table...on all fours...back arched...arse hole on show...at any time I can make use of either hole...its a convenience...to be used...
Again, only in Thailand can I do this on a regular basis...we all have our kinks...some of us are shy to explore them or live them...clearly I'm not....and I don't apologise for it...at any time the boy can stop and walk away...not like I'm physically restraining him...occasionally a boy might want to stop early...I simply remind him that his time is not up...he is free to go..in fact I have been known to start kicking his clothes towards the door indicating I want him to leave...but tell him that I will only pay the proportional amount agreed according to the time I've had....not one has walked out the door...just call their bluff...again...love the power and humiliation....will snigger and the games resume...

[latintopxxx]

mh-87 wrote.......I pay for sex because by giving the boy more money than he could earn scratching around in the rice paddy I am making him a better human being.
This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time....so now he's mother Theresa of calcutta....making a boy a better person by encouraging prostitution....what a scream....I love it...I must be a saint by now...the number of money boys I've ridden...

[lexusgs]

I was being totally genuine with my reply, sex is not only physical (obvious I guess..) and I enjoy a bit of role play...in northern europe money boys whilst not scarce are pricey and picky about what they will will be subjected to...in southern Europe it can be down right dangerous if u push a rent boy too far...Brazil & South Africa it can be a bit easier...but nothing beats Thailand for boys willing to be your personal sex toy slave piece of furniture for the price of a meal in Berlin....
Most times the only interaction I have is when selecting him, beating down the price (this is a major part of the game...), making double sure he understands I'm booking him for a set period of time, usually 3 hours, (not just one fuck or cum) and that I want/expect all...deep throat/gagging, anal, rimming...when I want as many times as I'm able to...simply enjoy that he is there for my pleasure...its a kink...can initiate or stop without have to ask or explain...totally selfish...its about me....if I've shot 2 or 3 times and still got time will roll over onto my stomarch and bury his face in my arse till he gets lock jaw...while I watch TV...basically the kink is a combination of power, humiliation...I paid for the boy and want my money"s worth...boy has to work for the money...love seeing how far I can push them for the pittance I pay...fav is boy on the edge of the bed on his back, legs in the air...I'm standing...pounding his butt..use long strokes...kinda almost pull out and as his ring is about to close pound it back in deep...he might start tight but by the time I'm finished I leave a sloppy hole...then lift one leg..place my foot on his face and pound away...double humiliation...
another fav is both standing..fucking doggy style, insert the index fingers of both hands in his mouth so I can steer him/grab hold of him and ride him like a pony..all the while snickering...I get pleasure out of his humiliation....enjoy using the boy as a pice of furniure..either to sit on while i check emails...or as an ornament..on a coffee table...on all fours...back arched...arse hole on show...at any time I can make use of either hole...its a convenience...to be used...
Again, only in Thailand can I do this on a regular basis...we all have our kinks...some of us are shy to explore them or live them...clearly I'm not....and I don't apologise for it...at any time the boy can stop and walk away...not like I'm physically restraining him...occasionally a boy might want to stop early...I simply remind him that his time is not up...he is free to go..in fact I have been known to start kicking his clothes towards the door indicating I want him to leave...but tell him that I will only pay the proportional amount agreed according to the time I've had....not one has walked out the door...just call their bluff...again...love the power and humiliation....will snigger and the games resume...


You could do all that and more for free in Manila and probably have a lot more choice.....

[cameroncat]

We all know there is a certain percentage of Thailand Sex Tourists, both gay and straight, that are misfits and socially incompetent in their home countries. The easy availability and low price of sex in Thailand is a magnet to those types.

[lexusgs]

We all know there is a certain percentage of Thailand Sex Tourists, both gay and straight, that are misfits and socially incompetent in their home countries. The easy availability and low price of sex in Thailand is a magnet to those types.

Are you including yourself?

[latintopxxx]

lexusgs...thanks for the tip on Manila...any suggestions as where to go...bars, clubs, ...
Cameroncat...chillout...maybe one day you will break out of your shell and take a walk on the other side....topic is all about rent versus the real thing...I've got the real thing...a partner for the last 15 years...just don't want to limit myself to vanilla .....

[bucknaway]

You guys forget that in the USA we have sex holidays. Ever been to a gay pride? Oh the sex... Not just sex but SEX! One time, at the Washington DC gay pride, a guy was picked up by a couple for a 3 way! He went back to his hotel room that he shared with his 2 friends and they had a 3 way in the room next to his friend who was in the next bed having sex with a guy he met. Later that night their 3rd freind came back to the room and got in bed with the 2 guys and had sex with them, then got up and showered and climed into bed with the other 3 and had a 4 way. Before the sun rose, one guy from the 2nd bed started teasing a guy from the first bed and soon the guy from the first bed was in the 2nd bed fucking the guy that was teasing him. That was the first night... And this happened with a friend hehehehe


Oh and this friend went to Atlanta's gay pride and had a ton of sex there too! Oh and when they went to NYC gay pride they were a slut! Oh and don't even talk about them going to the gay campground in PA!

Guys are not just visiting Thailand for sex, they are visiting everyplace for sex! Hell... Thai guys are visiting the USA as sex tourist! LOL

[lexusgs]

This has got to be one of the dumbest questions posted on a GAY thailand board. Just another example of the posters unhealthy obsession with other peoples lives and looking for a reaction to enhance his dull existence.



saves me posting the same / couldn't have done better

advice should come from people that know shit
*help* is when someone asks for it
all else is nosey interference

to the moron that keeps pm'ing me - stop
I won't read pms

He just loves playing mind games man. I think Dodger summed up his/it's existence a while back....quite funny really :evil4:

[lexusgs]

lexusgs...thanks for the tip on Manila...any suggestions as where to go...bars, clubs, ...
Cameroncat...chillout...maybe one day you will break out of your shell and take a walk on the other side....topic is all about rent versus the real thing...I've got the real thing...a partner for the last 15 years...just don't want to limit myself to vanilla .....

PM sent

[lexusgs]

You guys forget that in the USA we have sex holidays. Ever been to a gay pride? Oh the sex... Not just sex but SEX! One time, at the Washington DC gay pride, a guy was picked up by a couple for a 3 way! He went back to his hotel room that he shared with his 2 friends and they had a 3 way in the room next to his friend who was in the next bed having sex with a guy he met. Later that night their 3rd freind came back to the room and got in bed with the 2 guys and had sex with them, then got up and showered and climed into bed with the other 3 and had a 4 way. Before the sun rose, one guy from the 2nd bed started teasing a guy from the first bed and soon the guy from the first bed was in the 2nd bed fucking the guy that was teasing him. That was the first night... And this happened with a friend hehehehe


Oh and this friend went to Atlanta's gay pride and had a ton of sex there too! Oh and when they went to NYC gay pride they were a slut! Oh and don't even talk about them going to the gay campground in PA!

Guys are not just visiting Thailand for sex, they are visiting everyplace for sex! Hell... Thai guys are visiting the USA as sex tourist! LOL


Great story Mr Bucknaway...a little complicated to follow initially but great fun ...lol :laughing3:

[Beachlover]

BL - In one of your previous posts you indicated that people who have and make more money are more important people. I think that is a fucked view of the measurement of human beings...
Nope, I didn't say that at all and you've misrepresented my comments this way multiple times now. You're doing it deliberately, I guess.

I believe income/wealth is one indicator of an individual's contribution, not always an accurate one but still significant.


at any time the boy can stop and walk away...
Ok... I find your description of what gets you off and what you do with these guys really disturbing. But if I'm to be open minded and objective, I have to admit that at least the point above is true. The boy does have a choice and he can walk away at any time...

I suppose you're just being very honest but why you get off on what you're describing isn't something I'll ever get into.

[latintopxxx]

beachlover...fair comments.....nut was not asking for your approval...just keep in mind that in many societies just being gay is a reason to be discriminated against.....was simply explaining why I love paid sex...fills a need ...

latintop you have a go at beachy talking about money being a measure of importance .. and yet you talk about degrading a guy for as cheaply as you can!!!!! isnt that the same thing ? tho just about 100 times worse ??
i pity any boy who ends up with you for sure .. what a nasty piece of work ..
o and no need to describe what you do to them tmi :violent1:

[loke]

Of course its an age thing.

If you are over 60 try o find a young boy and theres no money involved.
But well as been discussed before you might get lucky .

If Im horny I can go bar and pick up boy , its just for the moment and its nice for bothe the boy and man.
But some torists or expats choose to stay with prosittute long time and then it will become a problem.

If you rich and old no problem , do whatever you want. I am not old enough yet ,

I agree with beachlover that its a challenge to date a boy in Thailand and spend some time before any sexual relationship , it will feel good, because you accomplish , well I did that in disco before . Free sex is the best ? No maybe not , just feel better.

[bucknaway]

Don't forget the Quasimoto factor. Who will have sex with Quasimoto? Only a paid sex worker. If Quasimoto is not able to get his paid orgasm you may find that after a night of drinking you are bent over trash can with Quasimoto doing you one up the butt while rubbing his mis-shaped head on you while telling you to rub his hump as you wake-up in the middle of the rape.

[mj_87-old]

BL - In one of your previous posts you indicated that people who have and make more money are more important people. I think that is a fucked view of the measurement of human beings...
Nope, I didn't say that at all and you've misrepresented my comments this way multiple times now. You're doing it deliberately, I guess.

I believe income/wealth is one indicator of an individual's contribution, not always an accurate one but still significant.





the majority of the comments in this thread seem to be based on the idea that people (all people) should be out striving for material gain and that material wealth is a reflection of the worth of individuals....A very Calvinistic mind set...maybe the Issan Thais are happy to do fuck all and that seems to me a noble thing in and of itself...
True. Material wealth is one of the most significant measures of an individual's worth


BL you did say that material wealth is one of the most significant measures of an individual's worth...That is in my opinion a very fucked up view of the world and the worth of human beings.
With your view that money equals value I would think you would fully support prostitution as a way for poor people to add to society by bringing in more sex tourist dollars.

[martin911]

I was being totally genuine with my reply, sex is not only physical (obvious I guess..) and I enjoy a bit of role play...in northern europe money boys whilst not scarce are pricey and picky about what they will will be subjected to...in southern Europe it can be down right dangerous if u push a rent boy too far...Brazil & South Africa it can be a bit easier...but nothing beats Thailand for boys willing to be your personal sex toy slave piece of furniture for the price of a meal in Berlin....
Most times the only interaction I have is when selecting him, beating down the price (this is a major part of the game...), making double sure he understands I'm booking him for a set period of time, usually 3 hours, (not just one fuck or cum) and that I want/expect all...deep throat/gagging, anal, rimming...when I want as many times as I'm able to...simply enjoy that he is there for my pleasure...its a kink...can initiate or stop without have to ask or explain...totally selfish...its about me....if I've shot 2 or 3 times and still got time will roll over onto my stomarch and bury his face in my arse till he gets lock jaw...while I watch TV...basically the kink is a combination of power, humiliation...I paid for the boy and want my money"s worth...boy has to work for the money...love seeing how far I can push them for the pittance I pay...fav is boy on the edge of the bed on his back, legs in the air...I'm standing...pounding his butt..use long strokes...kinda almost pull out and as his ring is about to close pound it back in deep...he might start tight but by the time I'm finished I leave a sloppy hole...then lift one leg..place my foot on his face and pound away...double humiliation...
another fav is both standing..fucking doggy style, insert the index fingers of both hands in his mouth so I can steer him/grab hold of him and ride him like a pony..all the while snickering...I get pleasure out of his humiliation....enjoy using the boy as a pice of furniure..either to sit on while i check emails...or as an ornament..on a coffee table...on all fours...back arched...arse hole on show...at any time I can make use of either hole...its a convenience...to be used...
Again, only in Thailand can I do this on a regular basis...we all have our kinks...some of us are shy to explore them or live them...clearly I'm not....and I don't apologise for it...at any time the boy can stop and walk away...not like I'm physically restraining him...occasionally a boy might want to stop early...I simply remind him that his time is not up...he is free to go..in fact I have been known to start kicking his clothes towards the door indicating I want him to leave...but tell him that I will only pay the proportional amount agreed according to the time I've had....not one has walked out the door...just call their bluff...again...love the power and humiliation....will snigger and the games resume...


You could do all that and more for free in Manila and probably have a lot more choice.....

I think someone like LP prob would n ot enjoy manila --he obs gets his very sad kicks by the fact he is paying somebody /and controlling them by that fact !!!!!!!!!!! --
Its been a long time since i read something so warped and sad as Lps post above !!!!!!!!!!!!!

its really hard to reply to him directly on it --he is on a different level/planet to the rest of human lifeforms !!!

I take back the Mother comment from earlier ---he obs did not ever have one --and yes you can say mabye he is making this stuff up --but the type of mind that would even come up with that --- i shudder at the thought !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cameroncat]

The poster questioned why some choose to make prostitutes their primary type of sex partner. I proposed one possible reason. If that doesn't describe you, then you shouldn't be offended.

[netrix]

and there are still those who somehow think everyone
who's gay and lives in or visits thailand is part of the
same "community." 555555555+++

some guys on here are just oddballs. some are douchebags.
some are a couple generations separated, and some are
a couple species away. i am fine not being personal friends
with some of the psychos on this fucked up forum.

[PeterUK]

I was being totally genuine with my reply...

All of us who come to Thailand for paid sex with young men run great spiritual risks and latintopxxx's post shows us exactly why. Prostitution is dangerous because of its tendency to turn others into mere objects for the gratification of lust on the one hand or greed for money on the other. It involves a mutual diminishment. Most of us who are here as clients still have enough intuition of reality to temper our selfish desires with an attempt at least to show some consideration, respect and kindness towards our partners. In the case of someone like latintopxxx, however, he is so far gone down the path of selfishness that not only does he feel no shame about his vile behaviour but he positively boasts about it. Unlike the rest of us poor saps, he believes that he is bravely exploring the darkest corners of his psyche, whatever the cost.

The cost to his unfortunate partners he clearly doesn't care about - the proudly haggled-down fee covers all discomfort, physical or otherwise. He says that he carefully explains how long his partners are expected to stay with him. Does he also explain in detail what they are letting themselves in for, I wonder? If not, it is disingenuous of him to claim that they are free to end the session at any time - this ignores the well-attested psychological fact that people can get locked into a bad situation and feel powerless to end it, perhaps out of fear of a stronger personality. Mere continuance with the session doesn't mean that they don't desperately want to end it.

As for the cost of such behaviour to latintopxxx himself, he is apparently unaware, as such people usually are, of the monster he has made of himself. When people have reached a point where it is only their own desires that matter, regardless of the pain or humiliation caused to others, they are in deep spiritual trouble. It is but a short step from there to deciding to snuff out another person for one's own amusement. Evil is really no more than extreme selfishness in action. I don't doubt that latintopxxx will laugh this criticism off. That's what people like him do.

Very good post PeterUK, thank you.

[Beachlover]

try dating a guy in the USA without dinner, gifts, taking them places and spending your cash. I will tell you what you will get, NOTHING!

There is always some form of payment when it comes to dating. If you are dating a guy that does not give head, you sure don't say to them, "Suck my cock and I will write you a check," You write them the check first and if it is big enough they will gladly go down on you if only for that one time. Either that or you buy them a flat screen smart TV or an Apple Iphone or Ipad.
Huh? You serious?

That's not the case at all with most guys I date. Most will try to pay equally for stuff, either by splitting the bill or taking in turns to pay. That's what guys with integrity and self worth do.

After a while, if the relationship gets serious, then if he earns significantly less (e.g. he's a student or newly graduated) I will try to cover the bigger ticket stuff like if we go to an expensive restaurant or go on trips... stuff that he wouldn't normally do on his income.

Having said that, I dated a guy who was a bit older than me, in his early 30s this year and he tried to pay a bit more for stuff at first. I know he has a pretty high income but we didn't really talk about work much early on so he had no idea what was I was making until later on. It was pretty cool when he realised... going on trips we could pool our money and get $800/night private pool suites and all. :happy7:

I really don't know what writing cheques and giving away iPads has to do with getting a blowjob from a guy you're dating...


I myself am more interested in your story and what is it about Thai sex workers that gives you an ax to grind?
Not really grinding an ax, Bucky... Just thought it would be an interesting discussion for the forum.

[Beachlover]

not all gay thai guys are interested in getting paid.
Yep! Totally agree!


if you don't have any trouble finding guys to date in your own country, then
being a gay tourist in thailand is fun and easy without ever paying for a hooker.

not all gay tourists in thailand are interested in money boys. i have quite a
few gay friends who travel to thailand and didn't even know about the gogo
scene until i told them.
Totally agree... I understand why some people still pay for it, even when they don't need to. But the truth is, ordinary Thai boys are really friendly and Thailand is mad fun without hookers and gogo boys.

I reckon there's some tourists (not all) who would find it more rewarding if they got out there and made an effort to interact with the non-commercial scene instead of just picking gogo boys off a stage. The latter is the lazy path to sex but you miss out on so much if that's all you do.


some guys simply don't get what you're talking about and don't care
to see through any perspective but their own.
Yeah... that's true. There's value in being able to see things through other peoples' perspectives and that's one of the reasons I posted this thread... To get other perspectives.

[Beachlover]

We all know there is a certain percentage of Thailand Sex Tourists, both gay and straight, that are misfits and socially incompetent in their home countries. The easy availability and low price of sex in Thailand is a magnet to those types.
Yep... that's the reality of it. This scenario doesn't apply to everyone who comes to Thailand but the country does attract a large number of these types.

What's really sad is the ones who give up everything in their home country - their job/business, assets, family and social circle (if they had any) - and move to Thailand just for the availability and cheapness of paid sex. They might be happy at first but after a few years they're idle, unchallenged, bored, living poorly and miserable.



We all know there is a certain percentage of Thailand Sex Tourists, both gay and straight, that are misfits and socially incompetent in their home countries. The easy availability and low price of sex in Thailand is a magnet to those types.
Are you including yourself?
Do you know Cameron? You probably know zilch about him so why are you implying he falls into that segment?

[lexusgs]

We all know there is a certain percentage of Thailand Sex Tourists, both gay and straight, that are misfits and socially incompetent in their home countries. The easy availability and low price of sex in Thailand is a magnet to those types.
Yep... that's the reality of it. This scenario doesn't apply to everyone who comes to Thailand but the country does attract a large number of these types.

What's really sad is the ones who give up everything in their home country - their job/business, assets, family and social circle (if they had any) - and move to Thailand just for the availability and cheapness of paid sex. They might be happy at first but after a few years they're idle, unchallenged, bored, living poorly and miserable.



We all know there is a certain percentage of Thailand Sex Tourists, both gay and straight, that are misfits and socially incompetent in their home countries. The easy availability and low price of sex in Thailand is a magnet to those types.
Are you including yourself?
Do you know Cameron? You probably know zilch about him so why are you implying he falls into that segment?

Slow day at the office today Beach Bore? 2.30 am in Oz and you're filling the board with your usual banal crap? You seriously need to get a life mate. :rolling:

[latintopxxx]

PeterUK...your halo is showing.......and yes you are quite right....I do laugh your moralistic ramblings off.....you probably believe doggy style is a walk on the wild side...

...you probably believe doggy style is a walk on the wild side...

Doggy-Style is only a minor perversion.

Doing it with the lights on, is a much more serious matter .

[RonanTheBarbarian]

Beachlover, I think in your OP, in your little sermon on how we should consider тАЬgenuine relationshipsтАЭ rather than paid ones, you are focusing too much on what people do in Thailand, as opposed to what they do in their own countries, and not being cognizant of the demographics of the board you are posting on.
This board is mainly made up of gay men who go to Thailand on holiday and guys who live in Pattaya. So make a posting on this board on the lack of meaning and satisfaction you get from sex with barboys is like posting on English-speaking web-board for Gran Canaria on how meaningless life is when it is based around drinking cheap beer in a pub while eating fish 'n chips and watching the footie on the TV.

The people who are doing that are there because that is what they like to do to relax and have fun. One should not generalise that somebody who likes to lie around doing nothing but drink beer and eat fish 'n chips for their week of holidays in Gran Canaria does not have a purpose-driven life, or no interest in home cooking, when they are back in their own country.
But that is not what they want to hear about when they are on the Gran Canaria forum.

On this board, there is a mixture of people. There are people who live in Pattaya full time. They are usually older, retired gay men and for many their social scene is heavily based around Sunee Plaza and Jomtien. But most of them seem to have long term boyfriends, from what I can tell from the board. So they do already have a long-term relationship (albeit perhaps based on money too, but with a dynamic similar to other long-term realtionships).
Then there are the older gay guys who are retired outside of Pattaya. Virtually all of those guys (I am not going to name loads of names, but Smiles and kquill would be typical) seem to have a long-term relationship too.
Then you have the guys who live outside Thailand and visit. Most of the regular тАЬvisitorsтАЭ like Dodger and colmx for instance, seem to have a long term boyfriend in Thailand. They would also have a genuine relationship based on your paradigm, although perhaps you view their openness to threesome with paid companions critically.
Then there are those who do not have long-term companions in Thailand but visit there occasionally тАУpeople like Bucknaway and myself would fall into that category. You might think you know us from the boards, but do not know what sort of relationships we have at home. You yourself are about the only person who frequently makes reference to home-country boyfriends on this board, but you should not presume that they do not exist for others. For instance, at the moment I am in a somewhat tentative relationship with a guy in my city. Now, it might go somewhere, or it might go nowhere, I donтАЩt know at this stage. But I am not writing about it because it is not relevant to this forum. If all you knew about me was what you read me on this forum, you would probably think I was a sex tourist and nothing else. But there is more to my life.

But when I go on holiday, I like to go someplace where reasonably priced companionship with good looking guys is available. It is one of the things I consider when picking a destination. That is why Thailand is top of the list. We all have our likes and dislikes in that regard. An old boss of mine went to the same area of Tuscany for ten years because she loved the wine and the food (well, mainly the wine). Did I subject her to any lectures on how she was missing out on the architectural beauties of other parts of Italy because she was so fond of spending her precious fortnight away from the office glugging down Chianti in the same area as the year before? No I did not (and not just because she was my boss!). Each to their own when it comes to holidays is my view, and most people would prefer to do something indulgent during their breaks if they are honest with themselves, even though they might like to PRETEND they like going white-water rafting or whatever because of perceived social cachet of that type of holiday over others.

That said, if I was in a long term relationship I probably would not be coming to Thailand as often, and perhaps not partaking in the sex side of it at all when I do. The fact that I have visited Thailand several times in the last seven years or so is, I donтАЩt mind saying, related to the fact that although I have had several relationships during that time, none of them were that serious. But coming to Thailand was not the cause of me not having a long-term relationship, more an outcome of it. Maybe I am wrong, but personally I do not think if I decided to have a self-denying ordinance on Thailand, a long term partner would suddenly appear like Prince Charming.
For me, going with barboys is very much part of the holiday experience. I have never used a prostitute in my home country. And I can assure you I have PLENTY of experience of тАЬGoing to a disco and seeing a guy you fancy, succeeding some nights, but not succeeding on anotherтАЭ. Much more usually the latter! I am well aware that that is part of real life experience. But it is not something I am particularly interested in doing on holiday.

Then there is the last category тАУLatintopxx would be an example of this, who come to Thailand because it enables them to live out their rather unhealthy sex obsessions/perversions with sex workers in an inexpensive fashion. Despite the horrifying impact reading their posts might have on you, I think they are a considerable minority of posters. I donтАЩt think somebody like that is going to ever have a тАЬgenuine relationshipтАЭ, whether they give up the barboys or not.

So, Beachlover, I not sure what proportion of the board, if you think about it, your OP is really relevant too (other than a chance for you to exercise your posting logorrhoea). Obviously a few, but less than you think, in my opinion. Perhaps you should look in the mirror, and consider how spending loads of time posting on internet forums is keeping you from developing a genuine relationship in the real World?

[lexusgs]

Beachlover, I think in your OP, in your little sermon on how we should consider тАЬgenuine relationshipsтАЭ rather than paid ones, you are focusing too much on what people do in Thailand, as opposed to what they do in their own countries, and not being cognizant of the demographics of the board you are posting on.
This board is mainly made up of gay men who go to Thailand on holiday and guys who live in Pattaya. So make a posting on this board on the lack of meaning and satisfaction you get from sex with barboys is like posting on English-speaking web-board for Gran Canaria on how meaningless life is when it is based around drinking cheap beer in a pub while eating fish 'n chips and watching the footie on the TV.

The people who are doing that are there because that is what they like to do to relax and have fun. One should not generalise that somebody who likes to lie around doing nothing but drink beer and eat fish 'n chips for their week of holidays in Gran Canaria does not have a purpose-driven life, or no interest in home cooking, when they are back in their own country.
But that is not what they want to hear about when they are on the Gran Canaria forum.

On this board, there is a mixture of people. There are people who live in Pattaya full time. They are usually older, retired gay men and for many their social scene is heavily based around Sunee Plaza and Jomtien. But most of them seem to have long term boyfriends, from what I can tell from the board. So they do already have a long-term relationship (albeit perhaps based on money too, but with a dynamic similar to other long-term realtionships).
Then there are the older gay guys who are retired outside of Pattaya. Virtually all of those guys (I am not going to name loads of names, but Smiles and kquill would be typical) seem to have a long-term relationship too.
Then you have the guys who live outside Thailand and visit. Most of the regular тАЬvisitorsтАЭ like Dodger and colmx for instance, seem to have a long term boyfriend in Thailand. They would also have a genuine relationship based on your paradigm, although perhaps you view their openness to threesome with paid companions critically.
Then there are those who do not have long-term companions in Thailand but visit there occasionally тАУpeople like Bucknaway and myself would fall into that category. You might think you know us from the boards, but do not know what sort of relationships we have at home. You yourself are about the only person who frequently makes reference to home-country boyfriends on this board, but you should not presume that they do not exist for others. For instance, at the moment I am in a somewhat tentative relationship with a guy in my city. Now, it might go somewhere, or it might go nowhere, I donтАЩt know at this stage. But I am not writing about it because it is not relevant to this forum. If all you knew about me was what you read me on this forum, you would probably think I was a sex tourist and nothing else. But there is more to my life.

But when I go on holiday, I like to go someplace where reasonably priced companionship with good looking guys is available. It is one of the things I consider when picking a destination. That is why Thailand is top of the list. We all have our likes and dislikes in that regard. An old boss of mine went to the same area of Tuscany for ten years because she loved the wine and the food (well, mainly the wine). Did I subject her to any lectures on how she was missing out on the architectural beauties of other parts of Italy because she was so fond of spending her precious fortnight away from the office glugging down Chianti in the same area as the year before? No I did not (and not just because she was my boss!). Each to their own when it comes to holidays is my view, and most people would prefer to do something indulgent during their breaks if they are honest with themselves, even though they might like to PRETEND they like going white-water rafting or whatever because of perceived social cachet of that type of holiday over others.

That said, if I was in a long term relationship I probably would not be coming to Thailand as often, and perhaps not partaking in the sex side of it at all when I do. The fact that I have visited Thailand several times in the last seven years or so is, I donтАЩt mind saying, related to the fact that although I have had several relationships during that time, none of them were that serious. But coming to Thailand was not the cause of me not having a long-term relationship, more an outcome of it. Maybe I am wrong, but personally I do not think if I decided to have a self-denying ordinance on Thailand, a long term partner would suddenly appear like Prince Charming.
For me, going with barboys is very much part of the holiday experience. I have never used a prostitute in my home country. And I can assure you I have PLENTY of experience of тАЬGoing to a disco and seeing a guy you fancy, succeeding some nights, but not succeeding on anotherтАЭ. Much more usually the latter! I am well aware that that is part of real life experience. But it is not something I am particularly interested in doing on holiday.

Then there is the last category тАУLatintopxx would be an example of this, who come to Thailand because it enables them to live out their rather unhealthy sex obsessions/perversions with sex workers in an inexpensive fashion. Despite the horrifying impact reading their posts might have on you, I think they are a considerable minority of posters. I donтАЩt think somebody like that is going to ever have a тАЬgenuine relationshipтАЭ, whether they give up the barboys or not.

So, Beachlover, I not sure what proportion of the board, if you think about it, your OP is really relevant too (other than a chance for you to exercise your posting logorrhoea). Obviously a few, but less than you think, in my opinion. Perhaps you should look in the mirror, and consider how spending loads of time posting on internet forums is keeping you from developing a genuine relationship in the real World?

What a great read Ronan. Very insightful. Crikey, Gran Canaria, that brings back some memories of the Yumbo centre and the long walk over the dunes to the beach :laughing3: Great place when you're in your 20's. My mate reckons 25+ nowadays your past it there now ..lol Thank Budha for Asia :hello1:

[latintopxxx]

Ronan...your input was spot on....except I certainly don't believe my sexual activities are perverted or unhealthy.....you wouldn't believe what "normal" people think/say of gay sex!!!!!......so ljust like some many other things (beauty..) its all in the eyes of the beholder...and FYI...I've been in a very stable...but totally open relationship with a partner only slightly older than me for the last 8 years....YES....eight years....occasionally we will even do 3somes....you should see the boy after 3 hours with both of us.....
Thailand is good for my relationship...fulfills a sexual (legal..) need....if perversion is being totally into selfish rough sex...then OK..yes!!

[mj_87-old]

[quote="mj_87":3n5zlfm8]BL - In one of your previous posts you indicated that people who have and make more money are more important people. I think that is a fucked view of the measurement of human beings...
Nope, I didn't say that at all and you've misrepresented my comments this way multiple times now. You're doing it deliberately, I guess.

I believe income/wealth is one indicator of an individual's contribution, not always an accurate one but still significant.

[/quote:3n5zlfm8]
BL тАУ As I have said before I think you have very fucked up views about what makes a person a valuable human being. Here is your quote from a previous post "Material wealth is one of the most significant measures of an individual's worthтАЭ.

On average Americans and Europeans make more money than the average Asian so that makes on average Americans and Europeans more valuable to the world.

I hope that you are properly subservient and submissive to your white betters when they allow you interact with them. I certainly expect that from you since I am your financial better.

Do you post so much out of some strange desire to be recognized by your white superiors?

[latintopxxx]

...oh dear now we are totally off subject and entering the totally inflamatory areana.....

[Khor tose]

Ronan...your input was spot on....except I certainly don't believe my sexual activities are perverted or unhealthy.....you wouldn't believe what "normal" people think/say of gay sex!!!!!......so ljust like some many other things (beauty..) its all in the eyes of the beholder...and FYI...I've been in a very stable...but totally open relationship with a partner only slightly older than me for the last 8 years....YES....eight years....occasionally we will even do 3somes....you should see the boy after 3 hours with both of us.....
Thailand is good for my relationship...fulfills a sexual (legal..) need....if perversion is being totally into selfish rough sex...then OK..yes!!

Peter UK was right on about you, and you just confirmed it. You used the term "normal" to describe people who are not into gay sex. Last time I looked the Amerircan Medical Association, The American Psychiatric Association, the the American Psychological Association, and many other groups all said gay was part of the Normal human experience. I do believe you are trying to justify your selfish perversion based on a minority (in America) of people who are still stuck in the 19th century. If you are so sure that what you do is "beauty in the eye of the beholder" why don't you talk to a a shrink and see what he would say. What you do is not normal, but sick in the extreme. One of these days one of these boys will go to the cops, and you will end up where you belong. :hah: Selfish bastard.

[latintopxxx]

sweetness....the word normal was written with inverted commas......clearly English is not your first language....see what happens when they let anyone loose near a keyboard...total mayhem...

[mj_87-old]

Not all gay guys visit or live in Thailand for the prostitution but quite a few do.
I reckon there's nothing wrong with using a prostitute once or every now and then and it's great that you enjoy it. But I wonder if you consider all the implications when you choose to replace genuinely formed encounters and relationships with paid sex in Thailand altogether. Maybe you do, maybe you don't...
I'm not talking about occasional users. I'm talking about those who make prostitutes their primary type of sex partner. Some do it because they can't get the type of guys they like without paying. Others don't need to but do it anyway.


I use the services of prostitutes almost every night I am in thailand. I "reckon" I am having a good time. Do you have a problem with that?

I am quite certain that I make more money than you make so be properly submissive to your superior if you choose to answer.

[Beachlover]

For me, going with barboys is very much part of the holiday experience. I have never used a prostitute in my home country. And I can assure you I have PLENTY of experience of тАЬGoing to a disco and seeing a guy you fancy, succeeding some nights, but not succeeding on anotherтАЭ. Much more usually the latter! I am well aware that that is part of real life experience. But it is not something I am particularly interested in doing on holiday.
RonanTheBarbarian... Thanks for the lengthy though ambiguous response. I honestly haven't had a chance to properly read it and respond to it until now.

I get everything you say about what some people go to Thailand for and what people like to do on their holidays. None of it contradicts what I put forward in my OP.

My only intention was to provoke some thought and discussion about the downsides of replacing genuine encounters and relationships with paid encounters and relationships, which is what happens so often in Thailand. The intention wasn't to only argue against prostitution as I believe there are upsides and downsides.

It looks like few people here are actually interested in exploring and accepting the downsides... but it was worth a try.

I guess for you, the short answer to the OP might be that you are aware of the downsides of replacing genuine encounters with paid encounters, but choose to do so when on holidays anyway, due to the reasons you described above... which is fair enough (if that's true - I don't want to misquote you).

--

P.S. MJ_87 - Most blatant and almost desperate trolling attempts and misrepresenting what I've said... so not worth responding to.

[Smiles]

" ... Thanks for the lengthy though ambiguous response. I honestly haven't had a chance to properly read it and respond to it until now ... "
Thanks for the heads up on that.
I, and I'm sure most of the rest of the planet, have been left a-waitin' ~ tongues hanging out ~ much too long for your always-feverishly-expected pearls of wisdom on this topic.
Finally here. (I'm getting a hard on!).

[Neal]

Yes, 43 posts in 3 days and still counting!

[martin911]

" ... Thanks for the lengthy though ambiguous response. I honestly haven't had a chance to properly read it and respond to it until now ... "
Thanks for the heads up on that.
I, and I'm sure most of the rest of the planet, have been left a-waitin' ~ tongues hanging out ~ much too long for your always-feverishly-expected pearls of wisdom on this topic.
Finally here. (I'm getting a hard on!).

Dammit Smiles ----you bet me to it !!!!! :happy7: :happy7:

[newalaan]

so not worth responding toCould you please consider applying this very wise thought to everything you read here? especially those you haven't yet had a "chance to properly read and respond to" if they are two fucking months old............

The forum anorak resurrects yet another excuse to avail us of his fascinating perspective on all things regarding gay life in Thailand as welll as life in general, just as somebody of his young years would of course have experienced by the time they reach their mid-twenties. The question is........why did your parents allow you 'come out', start back-packing and set up a business at 8 years old?

Mind you, a couple of years going around actually experiencing it, backed up with a decade of internet surfing could well achieve the same results.

[mj_87-old]

P.S. MJ_87 - Most blatant and almost desperate trolling attempts and misrepresenting what I've said... so not worth responding to.

No just commenting on your despicable view that money is one of the most significant factors in determining a persons worth to society. I think that is one of the most fucked up views I have heard expressed and probably the reason asian people treat other people like shit when given the opportunity. They only see people in terms of money and if a person has economic value. That is a very fucked up view.

[francois]

The forum anorak resurrects ......

I love that word "anorak". I had to look it up, British slang and very fitting in this occasion.

[Beachlover]

Semi-coherent sarcasm from Smiles and a loooong paranoid nag from Newalaan... Where would we be without these two old cranks? :rolling: