Does using the word "Boy" cause the community harm?

[bucknaway]

As the internet becomes more public and searchable as well as traceable. (There are now services in the USA that will trace you by your IP address and any related IP address used by you over 10 years providing a report of photo's you have posted, websites you have posted on be they indexed or thought to be secure).

I know that The Thai tend to call young men and children "Boys" but is that something that the gay community should embrace and promote? Thailand is suffering from a perceived perception that perverts are going there for the boys and not the young men.

We say that the Thai call the young men "Boys" but where does that come from? English is not their first language and they try to communicate as best they can to understand those speaking different from them. Could it be that those in the beginning did in fact go there looking for boys and the term has stuck and grown?

At any rate and in any circle, it can't look good for a man of 30, 40, 50 60 or 70 talk about his fun with boys while on holiday.

Maybe it is time for a change? Maybe it is time to bury the word "Boy" in the Farang/Thai Gay Community?

[Michael]

Absolutely agree Buck.
BTW my "boy" of the last 12 years is 6 years younger than me. (I'm 41!)

The suggestion is that the term "boy" is dropped by the "gay community" (no such thing IMHO) - because the straight community may equate it with paedophilia?

I say "Honi soit qui mal y pense"

Or, alternatively, "Fuck the straight community" - metaphorically of course

Get off your knees - literally and metaphorically

:bounce: :bounce:

[bucknaway]

It is also a way for to separate the men from the boys.... as it were....

It is also a way for to separate the men from the boys....

....So is a crowbar.

:occasion9:

[bucknaway]

LOL :rolling:

Thailand is suffering from a perceived perception that perverts are going there for the boys and not the young men.
Countries don't do Perceived Perception, and I very much doubt that Thais prefer 'perverts' who are going there for old men. And it isn't the 'homosexual' who is perverse but the society in which he lives.

[Brisboy82]

It's not just Thai specific. Men in western culture are called boys too. Gay men tend to refer to themselves and each other as boys een if they are middle aged. And also straight men refer to their friends as 'the boy's nobody says 'I'm gonna go hang out with the men'

And same goes for women being referred to as girls. Women are often referred to as girls in western society. It doesn't imply anything dodgy at all.

[bao-bao]

My guess is you're not going to get a consensus on this, but it's interesting to read people's personal preferences on terms used.

I tend to use the word guys instead of boys to clarify who and what I'm referring to - but that's mainly because of the general usage of the words where I come from. Besides, I get tired of explaining the difference to people when telling or writing stories.

That, and the fact that criticism of those who do like to cut it close to the limit with the age of their paid company is a wide brush I'd prefer to avoid. Too many people sling paint with it far too liberally.

[mahjongguy]

Hearing the term "boy" here has always made me uncomfortable. I always thought its use by Thais must be due to some lack of age descriptions in Thai but that's not the case. They have a different word for an 18yo than for a 14yo. So, I guess it's true that they learned "boy" from us and use it for a broader range of ages than would be politically correct in the West.

As an American I am sensitive not only to underage issues but also to our history of race relations in which black adults were called "boy" as a form of subjugation. So, for young adults I have always said "guys". Most Thai people don't know that word but one or two have learned it from me. That's a start.

[thonglor55]

What can you do when you get fools in their thirties or older in chat rooms and so on (or here, eg. "kittyboy") who call themselves "...boy" or "...boi". You're not going to change it. Long known as the Peter Pan Syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puer_aeternus) (and the creator of Peter Pan, JM Barrie, was a well-known afficianado of the younger male). It was Peter Pan by the way who said "Fairies only exist if you believe in them".

[arsenal]

Words often sound very different spoken to when they are written. When talking I happily use the term "Thai boy" or more usually "ah, those beautiful Thai boys." However if I write it (for example in an e-mail to a friend) then I use the term "Thai twink.

[MARK]

So every straight guy that says he is out to night with a hot girl should be saying what? :dontknow:

IT All in the readers mind set. :hello2:

[Thai Dyed]

So every straight guy that says he is out to night with a hot girl should be saying what?

IT All in the readers mind set.

I think you're right Mark. A lot of these guys worrying about the word "boy" must have some serious baggage in the form of guilt in their own minds to spend time wringing their hands and sweating over this.

And what should an 80 year old cavorting with an 18 year old (who in Thailand looks more like a Western 15 year old) call this young person he is getting it on with? We could just use the word "trick". "Hey, look at those 'tricks'". "I would like to introduce you to my latest 'trick'". Hey! I like that. We used to use that years ago. And it can be used as a verb too: "I tricked with him yesterday."

Straights use that word too so it satisfies the new "gender equality" rules that the Politically Correct insist upon. I see this as a "win-win" possibility. One size fits all, and all that stuff.

[MARK]

Most Thai boys refer to there older farangs as my boy friend we know they mean A T M in most cases but its better than being introduced as the latest one i have hooked. :rolling:

[Thai Dyed]

Most Thai boys refer to there older farangs as my boy friend we know they mean A T M in most cases but its better than being introduced as the latest one i have hooked.

It all depends on what one's priorities are Mark. I like to hook a new trick every day and I have no problem with that and describing it in that way. How the boys refer to me is none of my concern. My word, I just want to have some fun, and I have no interest in getting advanced degrees in semantics and philology in order to do so.

[Marsilius]

I tend to agree that using the word "boy" causes us little or no harm as a "community" (though I personally doubt the existence of any such thing).

And, Interestingly enough, even the OP, having posed that question in the thread title, only suggested that it might harm Individuals whose Internet activity might be under surveillance.

But even if it may not harm the "community", the business owners of Pattaya soi 3 evidently thought it was harming them, some years ago, when they changed the overhead signage from "Boystown" to "Boyztown"' presumably because the latter, in some strange street-cred sort of way, suggested that young adult men were available there rather than anyone under the age of 18 or so.

It would be interesting to hear from anyone involved in that decision why "boys" was suddenly no longer acceptable. Pressure from the police? From NGOs? From consumers? Or not from anyone outside at all but just a general fear of a coming moral backlash?

[Thai Dyed]

I tend to agree that using the word "boy" causes us little or no harm as a "community" (though I personally doubt the existence of any such thing).

But even if it may not harm the "community", the business owners of Pattaya soi 3 evidently thought it was harming them, some years ago, when they changed the overhead signage from "Boystown" to "Boyztown"' presumably because the latter, in some strange street-cred sort of way, suggested that young adult men were available there rather than anyone under the age of 18 or so.

It would be interesting to hear from anyone involved in that decision why "boys" was suddenly no longer acceptable. Pressure from the police? From NGOs? From consumers? Or not from anyone outside at all but just a general fear of a coming moral backlash?

I too personally doubt the existence of any such thing as a "community".

The sign you refer to also had a board in the center on the bottom that said something like "No Child Sex". It is safe to assume the NGOs insisted on that. There's a picture below of that, but it's hard to read that specific board. I don't know if it's still there any more. I don't go to Boyztown since it's such a complete bore. Maybe that's where you find this elusive "community" the OP talks about. I fear if this "community" exists it will most likely resemble an AA meeting.

[attachment=0:ut1f90ao]boyztown.jpg[/attachment:ut1f90ao]

When these "straight" men (who are apparently confused and outraged by the use of the word "boy") forego their wank-mag photos of teenage "girls" posing erotically in school uniform, complete with pigtails and licking a lollipop, then I might be willing to listen.

Until then, they can shove their argument past their uber-tight sphincters.

:occasion9:


PS Anybody who wants to call me a "boy" is welcome to do so :rolling:

[Rene]

The suggestion is that the term "boy" is dropped by the "gay community" (no such thing IMHO) - because the straight community may equate it with paedophilia?

I say "Honi soit qui mal y pense"

Or, alternatively, "Fuck the straight community" - metaphorically of course

Get off your knees - literally and metaphorically


Agree entirely Scottish Guy! I am sick and tired of all these gays running around kissing the asses of the status quo straight world. Fuck 'em!

"Honi soit qui mal y pense" Perfect!

[Brisboy82]

When these "straight" men (who are apparently confused and outraged by the use of the word "boy") forego their wank-mag photos of teenage "girls" posing erotically in school uniform, complete with pigtails and licking a lollipop, then I might be willing to listen.

Until then, they can shove their argument past their uber-tight sphincters.

:occasion9:


PS Anybody who wants to call me a "boy" is welcome to do so :rolling:

Exactly! They are hypocrites if they male an issue of it.

[netrix]

this is a non-argument that won't die. it's a stupid debate over nonsense.
the term "boy" is not a Thai thing. it's not a gay thing. it's not an age thing.
it's not about children or about relationships with an age difference or
anything at all perverse. jesus fucking christ, it's used all the fucking time!

boys in blue. military boys. cowboys. boys night out. boyfriend (in a straight
relationship - when the "boy" is not a child) my hairdresser's "boyfriend" is 50.
she's 46.

get over yourselves. who gives a fuck what other people think anyway. my
straight female friends talk about all the hot "boys" at the straight bars. what's
the fucking difference??? you guys will argue about anything. and when you
get tired of that, you drag out this old shit to argue about again and again!

boy oh boy.

As previously noted, if it's OK to refer to young ladies in a bar as 'girls' why could it not be OK to refer to young men as 'boys' ??

We can all probably remember the kid in the school playground (when we were that age..) who was always pro-active in calling others 'gay' or 'queer' - because he couldn't come to terms with his own sexuality, and was putting up a front.

Some people are also overly-concerned with political correctness, and I whilst I wouldn't want to pass judgement on the motives of the OP in launching this thread, I do think it might be constructive to expunge a few mis-placed guilty consciences that seem to lurk in some of the posts on this site.

A paedophile is someone who is sexually attracted to males or females who are sexually immature. (When I curse the dichotomy of my own bisexuality, I always take comfort that I didn't pull that short straw..) A person with a 'normal' sexuality becomes interested in males or females (or both) as they reach sexual maturity.

However, in all but the most primitive societies, it is recognised that adults seeking a mate should wait until their partner has reached mental as well as physical maturity before making their move - typically a gap of about two years. There is also a less uniform recognition that persons indulging in any form of commercial sex should have the benefit of a further two years maturity.

It follows that if you see a 15 year old and feel sexually attracted, don't feel guilty; but recognise that because that person is not yet mentally mature, you must not touch - but by all means make a mental note to look them up in three years time..

It barely needs mentioning that given the sensitivity of the subject, it is very important to cover your back in this regard - don't patronise any establishment that appears to be breaking the law, and be on your guard against honey traps and potential blackmailers - especially when you've had a few beers..

[gaymandenmark]

This is funny, when you are back in your homecountry, and people, family or at your work ask you if you have friends in Thailand, will you say: Oh yeah I know a lot of boys or will you say yes I know a lot of guys. ?

Maybe it is a question about language skills, but in my langauge "boys" means, well "boys" and not an adult guy.
If I translate "my lover" from danish into english I might would say my "boyfriend", but then he could be 80.

So you boys who think it is a question not worth thinking about, are...well just boys.

It is also funny when this question is asked many "boys", from 15 to 90?, are going into self defense, talking about heterosexual dominance of the world and that people are "kissing the asses of the status quo straight world", but they would never call themselves "a boy". :occasion9:

Come on guys, using the word "boy", or not, has nothing to do with gay liberation, unless you think it is gay liberation to off "boys" from bars in Thailand.

Anyone who has ever got involved in checking draft EU regulations (thankfully, I do this no longer..) will know the nightmare involved when it comes to getting texts precisely translated.

I remember one tedious exercise that was thrown into disarray when it emerged that the distinguishing words 'article' and 'substance' - were for some reason impossible to clearly translate into German..

However, in this instance the defining language is English, where it is perfectly understood that the word 'Boy' can be quite properly used to describe a young man who is above the age of consent.

[mahjongguy]

"...it is perfectly understood that the word 'Boy' can be quite properly used to describe a young man who is above the age of consent."

Yes, and it can also be quite properly used to describe someone who is 14 or 10 or 6. In fact, the term applies to a wide range of ages, most of which are below the age of consent. So, if you are heard to say "those boys I paid to suck my dick", how confident are you that you will be given the benefit of the doubt?

That, for me, is sufficient reason to use a more accurate and less controversial term like "guys".

..So, if you are heard to say "those boys I paid to suck my dick", how confident are you that you will be given the benefit of the doubt? That, for me, is sufficient reason to use a more accurate and less controversial term like "guys".

Alternatively you could just avoid discussing the precise nature of your sexual activity altogether.

Alternatively you could just avoid discussing the precise nature of your sexual activity altogether

Indeed - discretion is the better part of valour..

[Brisboy82]

"...it is perfectly understood that the word 'Boy' can be quite properly used to describe a young man who is above the age of consent."

Yes, and it can also be quite properly used to describe someone who is 14 or 10 or 6. In fact, the term applies to a wide range of ages, most of which are below the age of consent. So, if you are heard to say "those boys I paid to suck my dick", how confident are you that you will be given the benefit of the doubt?

That, for me, is sufficient reason to use a more accurate and less controversial term like "guys".

Why would you be talking about who sucked your dick??? It's a private matter.

[mahjongguy]

"It's a private matter."

On that we agree completely. But I think you haven't spent much time around here. Sit out out the gay beach and the things you hear people brag about. It makes me cringe, mostly in the way it implies a lack of respect. And that's the #1 reason not to say 'boy".

"...I think you haven't spent much time around here. Sit out out the gay beach and the things you hear people brag about.

If you turn your Hearing Aid to "low", you won't overhear people discussing their sexual proclivities in this coarse and vulgar fashion. Worth a try.


....it makes me cringe, mostly in the way it implies a lack of respect. And that's the #1 reason not to say 'boy".

Hmmm, that's a culture-specific thing.
My experience is use of the term "Boy" is not a mark of disrespect in most civilised countries.

:occasion9:

[thonglor55]

... mostly in the way it implies a lack of respect. And that's the #1 reason not to say 'boy".Lack of respect for whom? The trick you'll be fucking tonight? I recall an acquaintance who was mostly celibate because he said he couldn't face "the lack of respect" last night's trick might show him in the morning. It betrayed a somewhat fastidious approach to human relationships. I'm told I have a somewhat loud voice and when I go home and see all those fat assed women in the shopping mall I'm told I often say rather too loudly "Look at the fat ass on that!". Does that also imply a lack of respect and I shouldn't say it (or at leasy shouldn't be overheard saying it)?

[mahjongguy]

I'm told I have a somewhat loud voice and when I go home and see all those fat assed women in the shopping mall I'm told I often say rather too loudly "Look at the fat ass on that!". Does that also imply a lack of respect and I shouldn't say it (or at leasy shouldn't be overheard saying it)?

I hope that's just hyperbole. If not, it's one more good reason to avoid shopping malls.

People are judged, and rightfully so, by their speech, especially by the way in which they portray others. If they constantly refer to people (even those whom they do not know) in negative terms, then we can easily derive that they themselves are negative people and best to be avoided, especially as they will be the first to make some catty remark about you when you're out of the room.

[mahjongguy]

"If you turn your Hearing Aid to "low", you won't overhear people discussing their sexual proclivities in this coarse and vulgar fashion. Worth a try."

I never wear my hearing aid outdoors. Mostly in case it rains but also because there's quite a lot I'd rather not hear.

"My experience is use of the term "Boy" is not a mark of disrespect in most civilised countries."

Go to Detroit. Walk up to any 20yo and say "Hey. Boy". You'll get your head torn off.

[gaymandenmark]

"My experience is use of the term "Boy" is not a mark of disrespect in most civilised countries."

Go to Detroit. Walk up to any 20yo and say "Hey. Boy". You'll get your head torn off.

Well said.

But of course this is also a cultural and a linguistic thing, in France you can call the waiter garcon, which also means boy, but at least I would never call a waiter "boy" in english, that would be disrespectful, even in a civilised country.

Go to Detroit. Walk up to any 20yo and say "Hey. Boy". You'll get your head torn off.

Well said.

Well said?
Are you crazy?

Of course if you go up to people in the street and shout "Hey! Boy!" at them, you will get a negative reaction.
Who the hell would do that anyway?
The discussion is about referring to someone as a "boy" - not shouting at them in the street.




..But of course this is also a cultural and a linguistic thing...

Isn't that exactly what I said?


..I would never call a waiter "boy" in english, that would be disrespectful, even in a civilised country.

Again, what has this to do with the discussion?
You would call an english-speaking waiter a .......WAITER!
Why would you be shouting "BOY" or indeed "GIRL", "MAN", or "WOMAN" at them?
:dontknow: :dontknow:

[gaymandenmark]

Go to Detroit. Walk up to any 20yo and say "Hey. Boy". You'll get your head torn off.

Well said.

Well said?
Are you crazy?

Of course if you go up to people in the street and shout "Hey! Boy!" at them, you will get a negative reaction.
Who the hell would do that anyway?
The discussion is about referring to someone as a "boy" - not shouting at them in the street.




..But of course this is also a cultural and a linguistic thing...

Isn't that exactly what I said?


..I would never call a waiter "boy" in english, that would be disrespectful, even in a civilised country.

Again, what has this to do with the discussion?
You would call an english-speaking waiter a .......WAITER!
Why would you be shouting "BOY" or indeed "GIRL", "MAN", or "WOMAN" at them?
:dontknow: :dontknow:

Scot:
"My experience is use of the term "Boy" is not a mark of disrespect in most civilised countries"

I was not aware, that your remarks were only about using the word "boy", in the boy bar sex trade industri in most civilised countries.
BTW no one has said anything about shouting "boy", or whatever, at anyone.

You are being deliberately obtuse:

The point of disagreement is whether or not referring to someone as a "boy" is showing disrespect .

When this was originally brought up by Mahjongguy, there was no suggestion that anybody would actually call someone "Boy"- it was in the context of people on the beach allegedly discussing their sexual activities and referring to their sexual partner as a "boy"
Mahjongguy said " ... it implies a lack of respect. And that's the #1 reason not to say 'boy".

I said, No, I did not take the view that referring to someone as a "boy" was disrespectful in most civilised countries. The dig I was having was at the connotations the term carries in parts of America, South Africa etc - sorry if you didn't get it.

Mahjongguy then went on to say that if you walked up to a complete stranger in the street in Detroit and said "Hey Boy", you would get a violent reaction.
Clearly this is a completely different context from discussing last night's fuck, and referring to your sexual partner as "the boy"

I have in turn pointed out that you would have to be an idiot to behave like that and not expect an adverse reaction.

You then went on to talk about bloody waiters for some reason, saying that you wouldn't call them "Boy" and I said obviously not, you would address them as "Waiter" if you were attracting their attention.

My point is this: if you are discussing events or whatever, I do not believe it is disrespectful in that context to refer to somone as "a boy", "the boy" etc.
If you change the context to going up to a complete stranger, a 20yo you have never seen in your life before, and saying/shouting "Hey Boy" then that is a different matter - but (as I said) who the hell behaves like that anyway?

[Brad the Impala]

Yes.

Do you care? Is a different question

Is the use of the term quite acceptable in many or most situations? Yes. But there are also situations where the use of the term "boy" to describe a man associates gay men with pedophilia.

[thonglor55]

People are judged, and rightfully so, by their speech, especially by the way in which they portray others. If they constantly refer to people (even those whom they do not know) in negative terms, then we can easily derive that they themselves are negative people and best to be avoided, especially as they will be the first to make some catty remark about you when you're out of the room.That is an entirely cultural perspective that is arguably not even true within a single country like America or England. Some of my hi-so Thai friends behave in a way that they (and their social class) believe is entirely appropriate; other Thais are resentful. An English friend of mine consistently refers to some people as "shits" but he is not at all a negative person, merely one who has forceful opinions and sees no need to censor himself. I think your perspective is quintessentially lower middle class, and based on what it means to be a "nice" person.

[mahjongguy]

Some of my hi-so Thai friends behave in a way that they (and their social class) believe is entirely appropriate; other Thais are resentful. Resentful? You bet, and that resentment is growing.


An English friend of mine consistently refers to some people as "shits" but he is not at all a negative person, merely one who has forceful opinions and sees no need to censor himself. Not a problem. Some people definitely are shits and deserve to be labelled as such.


I think your perspective is quintessentially lower middle class, and based on what it means to be a "nice" person.And I think that you linking my views on kindness and fairness to class origins says quite a lot about you.

Back to the OP's question:
No, I don't think that using the word "boy" causes the community harm, mostly because I'm doubtful that there is a global gay community to be effected by it. But I do think that "boy", as applied to those 18 and over, is a word that can reflect poorly on us as individuals, so why not use some other term that's more precise and less likely to cause misunderstanding?

[thonglor55]

I think your perspective is quintessentially lower middle class, and based on what it means to be a "nice" person.And I think that you linking my views on kindness and fairness to class origins says quite a lot about you.It's only the lower middle class who care what others think of them.

[gaymandenmark]

I think your perspective is quintessentially lower middle class, and based on what it means to be a "nice" person.And I think that you linking my views on kindness and fairness to class origins says quite a lot about you.It's only the lower middle class who care what others think of them.

And if you believe in that, then you are very very naive, and you have a very stereotype way of categorize and looking at other people.

тАЬPederasts тАУ Includes not only those who lust after teenagers, which is of course most of humanity, but those who actually touch them in a sexual way. Not to be confused clinically, as is increasingly done legally, with pedophiles, a small minority drawn to prepubescent children. Heterosexual pederasts, men drawn to underage females, constitute the vast majority.тАЭ

Boys Beware (1961) http://www.archive.org/details/boys_beware

тАЬThe age boundary is not clear cut, rather dependent on the context or even on individual circumstances. A young man who has not assumed (or has been denied) the traditional roles of a man might also be called a boy. It may feel uncomfortable to a young male upon being referred to as a "man" before he believes he has assumed these roles, such as having a career, a partner, a household of his own, fatherhood, etc., though the addition of a jocular modifier such as "young man" or "little man" might lessen the dissonance.тАЭ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy

As Boys Grow (1957) http://www.archive.org/details/AsBoysGr1957

тАЬAs Males has noted, the US Supreme Court has "explicitly ruled that policy-makers may impose adult responsibilities and punishments on individual youths as if they were adults while at the same time laws and policies abrogate adolescentsтАЩ rights en masse as if they were children.тАЭ

Moly Grows Up (1953) http://www.archive.org/details/MollyGro1953

http://images.quebarato.com.br/T440x/cara+quer+bear+sao+paulo+sp+brasil__3EBC3E_1.jpg

тАЬApparently, what we asked to believe (cf. the Wikipedia article) is that the Islamic norm of male-male sex is the opposite of ours: that is, they accept what we prohibit, and prohibit what we accept. What they have accepted, at least historically, is intergenerational sex in which a bearded man penetrates a beardless youth, or catamite. Yet they have, or so they claim, always been against two bearded men having sex with each other.

With us in advanced Western countries--at least in these latter, supposedly enlightened days--it is OK for two adult men or two women to have sex with each other, but not with boys or girls.

I am not sure how valid this chiastic scheme is, but it is an interesting claim. Certainly boy love is rife in Afghanistan and Pakistan today. With truck drivers the practice is virtually universal. Many people in those countries cannot understand why the US and NATO forces are against it. Commonly enough, they even tolerate a wedding linking a man and a boy, but abhor gay marriage as we understand it. We tend to think of such views as hypocritical, but perhaps in their context they are not.

We expect Third World countries to abandon their vicious homophobia, as indeed we must. But perhaps, in exchange, they would wish us to abandon our horror of intergenerational sex.тАЭ

http://williamapercy.com/wiki/index.php ... lam_and_BL (http://williamapercy.com/wiki/index.php?title=Islam_and_BL)

Human Reproduction (1947) http://www.archive.org/details/HumanRep1947

[Rene]

Hi "china"!

It's always good to see your enlightened posts here. How are things up north?

By the way, William Armstrong Percy III's writing should be required reading for most of our unwashed brethren here. In particular his work with Dynes and Johannsen in their Encyclopedia of Homosexuality. I think the whole thing is available on Percy's website. But anything he's written is of immense scholarly value.

I'll have to visit you sometime when I'm in your area.

Rene

[Dodger]

mahjongguy wrote:


But I do think that "boy", as applied to those 18 and over, is a word that can reflect poorly on us as individuals, so why not use some other term that's more precise and less likely to cause misunderstanding?

I find that calling someone (or referring to someone) by their actual "name" usually works out pretty well.

The term "boy" is of course widely used in Thailand to describe a male anywhere from the age of 5 to 35 - with the exception of a younger Thai male who is married where the term usually transforms to either "young man" or "man". The only difference I see between the use of this term in Thailand as compared to the West, is that in the West the term "boy" disappears once a male reaches his later teen years where he starts being referred to as a "young man" regardless if he's married or not.

An observation that can't be avoided is the fact that the term "boy" has a lot to do with the age of the person who's using the term. If a 25 year old farang is sharing a drink with a 20 year Thai male - he would probably refer to his Thai friend as just "a guy". If a 70 year old farang is sharing a drink with a 20 year old Thai male he would probably refer to his Thai friend as a "boy", because, in his eyes, that is exactly what he is. In this scenerio, both the 25 year old farang and the 70 year old farang refer to their Thai friend as they envision their friend.

A large percentage of gay farang punters who visit or reside in Thailand range between 50-70 years old, thus the reason the term "boy" is so commonly used. Ironiclally, this is in perfect harmony with the Thais use of the term "Papa" which is appropriately used by the Thais to describe an elderly farang.

Just curious...how many of you like being referred to as "Papa"? I know I don't. Hell, it fucks up the splendor of the dillusion I'm basking in.

As far as the term "boy" causing harm to the community...heck, I don't know. I think you'd have to change the community first.

Lots of male Thais have the nickname 'boy' (it's spelt in various ways) so what's the big deal, are you going to change their name as well? Boy is a word that's been around forever so why are a few gays getting all tied up in knots just because someone might, just might get the wrong idea?

Maybe the OP brought the subject up because it was (might still be) used as an offensive and disparaging term for Black man in places like America etc..

Maybe the OP brought the subject up because it was (might still be) used as an offensive and disparaging term for Black man in places like America etc..(quote)combat

Good point, I do hope it is a thing from the past!

Just curious...how many of you like being referred to as "Papa"?(quote)Dodger
I do not find it endearing.

The only time I find the use of the word "Boy" here in L.O.S. bizarre is when it is applied to a young male who displays no characteristics that would normally be associated with a boy.

Maybe the OP brought the subject up because it was (might still be) used as an offensive and disparaging term for Black man in places like America etc..(quote)combat

Good point, I do hope it is a thing from the past!

Ditto...

[Beachlover]

the term "boy" is not a Thai thing. it's not a gay thing. it's not an age thing. it's not about children or about relationships with an age difference or anything at all perverse. jesus fucking christ, it's used all the fucking time!

boys in blue. military boys. cowboys. boys night out. boyfriend (in a straight relationship - when the "boy" is not a child) my hairdresser's "boyfriend" is 50. she's 46.

... my straight female friends talk about all the hot "boys" at the straight bars. what's the fucking difference???
Totally agree.... This sums it up in a nutshell. The word "boy" is commonly used everywhere to describe adult men. Also very common in Asia, not just Thailand. You can be in your twenties and all your older relatives, Aunties and Uncles will still refer to you as "boy".

As for whether calling someone a boy is offensive, it just depends on the context. If you're doing it in a way that implies you're talking down to them in a manner they don't welcome, then yes, it is offensive. Same as addressing someone as "son" or "kid".

[bucknaway]

All those "Boy" Titles have qualifiers.. None are simply called boys as in "Let the BOYS play."

Boys in Blue we all know to mean an officer of the law.
Military Boys. We all know to mean soldiers.

It is asking for trouble when a grown-up man; often a well aged man to says that he is going to get on a plane and go to Thailand for the boys when the world looks at Thailand as a predators destination.

You want to plant your flag on that term than good on you. I don't do boys. I do adults :notworthy:

On this I will just have to say, to each their own. :hello2:

[netrix]

I don't do boys. I do adults.

i'm bisexual...i like men AND boys.


The word "boy" is commonly used everywhere to describe adult men.

exactly. by straights and gays, by men and women, by young and old, by asians and westerners.
ALL of the time. and NEVER with a derogatory meaning or implication. i've never experienced that
anywhere ever except this forum. ALL of my gay friends and straight girl friends talk about going to
the bar to find some boys. you "boys" can get your panties wadded if you want to. sheesh.

[thonglor55]

For those people who use words literally (our religious fundamentalist enemies, for example) "boy" means just that - a male child. One of their arguments is that all homosexuals are pedophiles because they always talk about having sex with "boys". That happens to be one of the current arguments that religious fundamentalists use in their (it looks like) losing battle for "gay rights" - all gays are pedophiles. If you don't know that I suspect you've only been skimming the newspapers. To that extent it harms us by introducing a doubt about our "true" intentions. But like the poster who questioned the use of the word "community" I have to disagree with the premise of the topic - there's no such thing as a "gay community" except in the mind of political gay activists who use it as a term for a body of voters who have a common interest and who may, therefore, vote as a block - something politicians always like to woo. It's an illusion.

On the other hand, haven't we found out that a significant proportion of those "Religious Fundementalists" fall into exactly the category of deviancy they rail against?

As I have said here before - my experience is that those who shout loudest about such matters are the very people to watch out for.

:occasion9:

[bao-bao]

As I have said here before - my experience is that those who shout loudest about such matters are the very people to watch out for.
That's the case all too often, in my opinion. I agree with you on this.

As I have said here before - my experience is that those who shout loudest about such matters are the very people to watch out for.

Totally agree - if using the word 'boy' to describe a young man makes someone uncomfortable; then maybe they have something to hide.

That said, it might release some repressed guilty consciences if more people accepted that there is nothing wrong with finding someone in their mid-teens sexually attractive, provided you remember that you mustn't touch..