Am I the only one ...........

I need to ask a question am I the only one I am sure I am not but I have been coming to Thailand for over 11 yrs and still I dont seem to understand how it works I am so stupid nieve thick that I keep falling for the same old same.
I met someone last year ok a dancing boy was fit muscular and spent an inceredible 3 weeks with him did the normal shopping and stuff when I was home text messages emails even when I left for the Airport there were tears so I came back said he wasnt dancing anymore I had a few things that I bought he stayed for a few hours and said he had to go to Bangkok that was the last I heard of him doesnt answer my messages and now I find out that he has a thai boyfriend and once again ive been made a fool of the last one before this one was straight and I didnt know am I walking round in some daze or is this the normal here, Do they not realise they play with peoples emotions and hearts or does this not matter I love Thailand and ive made some good friends here but cant understand some of the people so am I the only one here or does this happen often.
I know a lot of you will be saying get a life but i just want to understand so I can stop making the same mistake time and time again.

[gregvc]

not the only one. Guess he did not see the future with a foreign visitor. You MUST keep rememebering that if the guy is $$ boy then that is the basis of the relationship. You might be lucky to have a long term relationship but don't count on it. Sounds like the time together was fun.... but don't let that fool yourself. When I lived in BKK someone told me to ask guys "where did you park your car?" This quickly found out the social standing of the guy. I found many middle class guys and did not have to pay. I am not a looker but found that if you were around often and did not lurch into sex in the first 10 mins then something could develop.

[Patexpat]

From your description of your adventures it strikes me you know EXACTLY how 'it' works but you choose not to acknowledge or learn from your past adventures....

[allieb]

Do they not realise they play with peoples emotions and hearts or does this not matter?

In short, no it doesn't matter at all. They are after your cash. It's a job and they do it well. As long as the cash keeps comming in from as many foolish farang as they can juggle with they're happy. Harden up and don't get too deply involved with any money boys you pick up. Always be on the lookout for another boy to replace him before you fall in lust with him.

Having said that it's easy to fall into the trap as I did once although I knew all along where things were going. I let it go on because I weighed up the fabulous sex and good times with what it was costing and had decided that fair exchange was no robbery. Of course it eventually came to an end as do all money boy,farang relationships.

[cdnmatt]

There's a few things you should know about Thai culture. I'm speaking generally here, and from my own experience, so obviously not every Thai is like this. I'm also talking about (Issan) Thais in general, and not just the bar scene.

1.) Empathy is a foreign emotion them. I don't know if it's the culture, Buddhism, or they're simply too stupid, but many are totally oblivious to empathy.

2.) They want instant gratification, and most times don't think long-term. For example, if they run into say 20,000 baht, they'll rush out and buy some gold. Then a week later, they'll end up broke, and have to sell the gold for 60% what they paid for it. That's the typical Thai thing to do.

3.) Humans are viewed as commodities, much more so than the West. Everyone is a commodity including themselves, which can be bought and sold. You know, husbands will fuck around on their wives all the time, and do it very blatantly as well. Yet, the wife still stay with him, because the husband takes care of her financially, and for all intents and purposes, has already bought and paid for her. He can do what he wants now. Thais don't view humanity the same way as us in the West do.

As a guy who has had a long term relationship (LTRs) with an Asian guy, and who knows other Caucasians, and Asians in LTRs I will offer you this, some one here are not going to like what I say, and of course there are expect ions to the rule.

Have a look at yourself in the mirror, now if you are middle aged and/or overweight etc etc ask yourself what do you have to offer a young hot guy, who has nothing in life but his mind and body, there are a number of possibilities:

1. You are a father figure who the guy gets comfort from the love support and security you provide, this guy loves life with you.

2. The guy genuinely is only sexually attracted to older guys, it does happen, I know some where this is the case, but I think it is the expectation to the rule.

3. The guy knows he can have a good life, if he helps to look after you and throws you a bit of pussy now and them, in return you may give him food, residency (PR) help him with uni fee's etc.

4. He is a gold digging slag, these types are not to be written off, but for christ sake don't fall in love with them, just keep them as a fuck buddy.

To be continued

The greatest advice I can give if you are lucky enough to get a genuine younger guy (and I have helped a few older guys in this situation)

Is to understand that if you are in your 50's/60's etc and your partner is in his 20's he may still have the need to hang around and go out with people his own age, it does not mean he does not love you, it is natural, and yes, he may fuckup and give someone a blow job, but hey so might you, so its better to be open and honest.

Don't sit at home worrying about the boy and what he is doing, go out yourself with YOUR friends, and maybe arrange to meet later, or go out for dinner together first and then let him go with his young friends.

The respect and love you will get from this is great.

I don't mean to offend anyone, but it took me a few years to work this out, and now I have a great life with my boy, I am 40, he is 22.

The final message is once a whore always a whore, if you meet them in a public toilet it ain't a recipe for long lasting love.

All the best

Simon

[Smiles]

Oh for christ sake. BadBoyBilly back in his 67th incarnation ... and a dual identity at that.

Just take a look at this tripe ... same old boring style, run on sentences, dropping capitals etc etc; same old code words; same old trolling for 'serious' replies to posts denigrating Thai guys in general; ending up with the same old pleas for 'help with my naivete' or a wind-up rhetoricism at the end.

By 'panlover': 2 posts, joined March 9, 2011


I need to ask a question am I the only one I am sure I am not but I have been coming to Thailand for over 11 yrs and still I dont seem to understand how it works I am so stupid nieve thick that I keep falling for the same old same.
I met someone last year ok a dancing boy was fit muscular and spent an inceredible 3 weeks with him did the normal shopping and stuff when I was home text messages emails even when I left for the Airport there were tears so I came back said he wasnt dancing anymore I had a few things that I bought he stayed for a few hours and said he had to go to Bangkok that was the last I heard of him doesnt answer my messages and now I find out that he has a thai boyfriend and once again ive been made a fool of the last one before this one was straight and I didnt know am I walking round in some daze or is this the normal here, Do they not realise they play with peoples emotions and hearts or does this not matter I love Thailand and ive made some good friends here but cant understand some of the people so am I the only one here or does this happen often.
I know a lot of you will be saying get a life but i just want to understand so I can stop making the same mistake time and time again.

And then ... read this equally tripeish idiocy. Written by either BBB or his bosum buddy.

By 'come and go': 3 posts, joined March 8, 2011 (one day after The Above, what else?)


Pattaya has changed over the years and many would say not for the better. In my opinion, the 90's were the most fun, but I was younger then and maybe more willing and able to drink and party night after night. Boyztown was happening. I stayed at the Ambiance, drank at BBB and ran across the street to Cafe Royale at 1 or so to continue on. There were a lot of beach boys about some of which I remember fondly and they would hang around BBB in the dance area near the back. Now the scene is quite different. Sunee Plaza is much more popular, the gay Jomtien Beach area, although still not that busy, didn't even exist back then and Boyztown is a shadow of its former self. The Russians have arrived in quite large numbers, the younger guys that used to be around are not as plentiful anymore, the gay venues seem to be struggling somewhat and possibly Pattaya as we once knew it has changed forever. What does the future hold?
Things never change on Sawatdee. And yes Dear Billy, you are indeed "the only one".
(For those interested, I still have a photo of BadBoyBilly. Anyone wanting to view our resident troll's lovely visage, I will be happy to email it to you)

ahh, ok well I don't wanna get involved in Sawatdee Politix :bis:

But I sorta like the bitchiness you girls go on with , lol

Oh Smiles for Christ sakes, why don't you crawl back under the rock you came out from under. Are you so obsessed with BBB or whomever that you think someone new couldn't join this board and say something you don't happen to agree with without you thinking some bullshit and worse writing it? And believe me when I say the whole of Vancouver heaved a colective sigh of relief when you pulled up sticks and left....PS don't bother coming back.

[Beachlover]

Panlover, if you're for real, read this thread on "sex and relationships with prostitutes": gay-thailand-f9/sex-and-relationships-with-prostitutes-t20569.html (http://www.sawatdee-gay-thailand.com/forum/gay-thailand-f9/sex-and-relationships-with-prostitutes-t20569.html)

If you want a serious long-term relationship built on love, your chances of success are higher away moneyboy scene and preferably with a middle class or successful working class boy who isn't financially dependent on you. When there's financial dependency or financial struggle in one party it blurs your ability to judge their true motives/emotions as you did here.

If you're not successful there, just go back to the moneyboy scene and be grateful there's boys willing to have sex and spend time with you for cash.


it's easy to fall into the trap as I did once although I knew all along where things were going. I let it go on because I weighed up the fabulous sex and good times with what it was costing and had decided that fair exchange was no robbery.
That's great. You have way more awareness and empathy and you set your expectations accordingly rather than end with a car crash as so many do...


if you are middle aged and/or overweight etc etc ask yourself what do you have to offer a young hot guy, who has nothing in life but his mind and body, there are a number of possibilities:.
GREAT advice... all of it.

Although I wouldn't say every younger guy who has a relationship with an older guy is a gold-digging slag... some of them are probably genuinely attracted to whoever their older partner is and without the motives of money/support.

[Beachlover]

There's a few things you should know about Thai culture. I'm speaking generally here, and from my own experience, so obviously not every Thai is like this. I'm also talking about (Issan) Thais in general, and not just the bar scene.

1.) Empathy is a foreign emotion them. I don't know if it's the culture, Buddhism, or they're simply too stupid, but many are totally oblivious to empathy.

2.) They want instant gratification, and most times don't think long-term. For example, if they run into say 20,000 baht, they'll rush out and buy some gold. Then a week later, they'll end up broke, and have to sell the gold for 60% what they paid for it. That's the typical Thai thing to do.

3.) Humans are viewed as commodities, much more so than the West. Everyone is a commodity including themselves, which can be bought and sold. You know, husbands will fuck around on their wives all the time, and do it very blatantly as well. Yet, the wife still stay with him, because the husband takes care of her financially, and for all intents and purposes, has already bought and paid for her. He can do what he wants now. Thais don't view humanity the same way as us in the West do.
Cdnmatt... It's important to make it clear you're referring to the poorer segment of the Thai population.

If you've ever been a with middle-class or more successful working class boy you'll know there's a WORLD of difference between them and the Issan village boys you refer to. Well brought up middle-class or successful working class Thai boys can be very thoughtful and possess a lot of empathy. Many of them do think long-term and can tolerate delayed gratification as much as you or I do. And many of them are way more thoughtful and loving to people, family and friends around them than a lot of Westerners I've come across.

Many of the very poor village boys are brought up very SIMPLE manner and with little of the good upbringing you or I might take for granted. That's why when it comes to empathy, they often f*ck up on things like not realising how stuff they say or do makes you feel or understanding the concept of compromising when two people are together deciding what to do or where to eat. It's also why their planning skills and self control isn't great.

Some of them will pick it up along the way (e.g. I suppose Kim's learning some of these things from you now) and some won't.

Not all the poorer village boys are like this. Some will have been brought up well and have parents or other people who influenced them well. I went out with an Issan boy in Sydney who managed to finish university, start a business, get a good job in Bangkok and then get himself over to Australia to study, all before the age of 22/23. He was still very impulsive and such but nevertheless a very bright boy.

Having said that, your comments about the poorer Issan types are mostly right.

There's a few things you should know about Thai culture. I'm speaking generally here, and from my own experience, so obviously not every Thai is like this. I'm also talking about (Issan) Thais in general, and not just the bar scene.

1.) Empathy is a foreign emotion them. I don't know if it's the culture, Buddhism, or they're simply too stupid, but many are totally oblivious to empathy.

2.) They want instant gratification, and most times don't think long-term. For example, if they run into say 20,000 baht, they'll rush out and buy some gold. Then a week later, they'll end up broke, and have to sell the gold for 60% what they paid for it. That's the typical Thai thing to do.

3.) Humans are viewed as commodities, much more so than the West. Everyone is a commodity including themselves, which can be bought and sold. You know, husbands will fuck around on their wives all the time, and do it very blatantly as well. Yet, the wife still stay with him, because the husband takes care of her financially, and for all intents and purposes, has already bought and paid for her. He can do what he wants now. Thais don't view humanity the same way as us in the West do.

One wonders why you stay in a place in which you hold the inhabitants in such contempt?

Having said that, your comments about the poorer Issan types are mostly right.

Assuming you have maybe been there for a few days once or twice, or more than likely, not at all, interesting how you can condemn a whole group of people based on what? Oh yeah ... I forgot, you base all you know on a few anecdotal experiences.