Who here is truly monogamous?

[cdnmatt]

I'm curious, how many here in a relationship are truly monogamous? My apologies if I'm wrong, but it seems many gay individuals can't and/or don't want to keep their dicks to one partner. Many seem to want a partner, but only as long as they can have friends with benefits on the side. I've never quite understood that, as in my mind, it diminishes the entire relationship, and the entire reason of being together.

So anyway, I'm curious, who here is truly monogamous?

[francois]

So anyway, I'm curious, who here is truly monogamous?

Why not start out by telling the truth about your status? Many posters ask personal questions of others but don't reveal their own preferences. So Matt, are you truly monogamous?

[cdnmatt]

So Matt, are you truly monogamous?

100%, and I wouldn't dream of cheating on him. I'm about 98% certain he doesn't cheat on me as well.

I've been thinking about this lately. I've had a horrible month, and due to everything going wrong that could go wrong, I lost about 18 months of work. That hurt, badly. It also kicked me into gear, forced me to leave my comfort zone, and take risks again. I don't know, and maybe I'm just weak, but I couldn't imagine going at this life alone. Especially when you're an entrepreneur. All that uncertainty, all those risks, people constantly clawing at you like vultures trying to get something from you, and so on.

I need someone to share this journey called life with. I need to know that no matter what happens, everything will be ok, because every night there's always going to be that same person here to give me a hug, to cook dinner with, to sleep beside, to help take care of our dogs, or pay our bills, or go shopping with. Let's me turn myself off from all the bullshit life offers, and I need that to stay strong.

So why would I risk throwing all that away, just to have sex with someone I barely know? Not to mention, do you think we'd ever had great, passionate sex like usual, if either of us knew we were cheating on the other? Never.

That's love for ya.

[Thai Dyed]

I've had a horrible month, and due to everything going wrong that could go wrong, I lost about 18 months of work. That hurt, badly. I'm just weak. All that uncertainty, all those risks, people constantly clawing at you like vultures trying to get something from you, and so on.

And that's also why I don't understand a good portion of the gay community. You seem to be completely missing out on what life offers, and what matters.

Since you admit your life is a nightmare, your rotten karma catching up with you no doubt, then why do you preach to others how to live? Do you honestly believe that any sane person would want to be in your shoes after all the crap you have brought up in your posts, once even telling us that your lovely boyfriend would castrate you if he caught you with another boy?

Why is it that the biggest dipshit fucksticks want to tell others what they are missing out on and how to live their lives?

[homeseeker]

I agree with the comments of Thai Dyed above.
OP would you kindly try not to preach to others just because you are in a what you claim to be a monogamous relationship plus you appear to be slightly delusional as well. In my opinion much of of the excitement of the "gay scene"is being able to have a choice of multiple sex partners and the excitement of a new one often.
Monogomy et al is a concept from the straight world etc., and must be very boring.
Whatever the state of your business or work just remember that you are a walking ATM for your current Thai who is suckering you for all you are worth so you had better make sure that the rice bowl you provide to the Thai and the rest of his leeches is not empty.

While I am in a relationship, it is an open one.
I get to play with other boys and he gets to play with girls. Just that nobody gets to sleep in our bed or sleep over.

Whatever the state of your business or work just remember that you are a walking ATM for your current Thai who is suckering you for all you are worth so you had better make sure that the rice bowl you provide to the Thai and the rest of his leeches is not empty.

I take it, making a comment like that, that you personnally know Matt's other half, and I would also presume that you have been taken for a ride more than once to be able to judge all Thais as only being in a relationship as long as the ATM is full? If you are a regular reader of this forum you will know that there are actually a few who post who are in long term relationships that do not revolve around the size of a bank balance! Matt is also young which unlike a great many who visit places like Sunee doesn't have to buy sex.

[Thai Dyed]

Matt is also young which unlike a great many who visit places like Sunee doesn't have to buy sex.

Just where the fuck do you think Matt found his boy toy? He picked up a whore. And where? Haven't you followed his epic saga Combat? He has also posted in excruciating detail the sums he has already thrown at him. Don't you remember the stories about all that crap. And you really believe this is a free ride Matt is getting? OMG!

Do you think I give a shit about Matt having a monogamous relationship? He can do what ever the fuck he pleases, but I wish he would stop carping about those of us who do not want to follow in his benighted footsteps. He even knows that most gays are not the least bit interested in having a monogamous affair. He accuses others of not knowing "what matters".

It was Matt who said "And that's also why I don't understand a good portion of the gay community." Well, of course he doesn't. He's a self-centered pompous dipshit fuckstick who thinks his shit doesn't stink and expects everyone else to linger over his every pathetic comment born of his self-righteousness.

Matt said "You seem to be completely missing out on what life offers, and what matters." Oh... spare me!

[Thai Dyed]

Duplicate deleted

'Wow' if a person who posts can make you that angry Thai Dyed what ever are you like when they do it to you in person, it just doesn't bare thinking about? If he gets your goat up that much why don't you put him on ignore?

BTW Do you really think that all those who are in stable longtime relationships actually met their boyfriends in a Temple? I think not, and from your way of thinking "once a whore always a whore" how sad, but each to their own...

[RichLB]

Can someone explain to me why monogamy is so highly valued? From what I can tell, those who insist on monogamy are placing the price of their relationship on their partner being deprived of the pleasures of sexual adventuring. If you truly loved your partner wouldn't you want them to find as much pleasure in life as possible? I also think that requiring monogamy is laying the groundwork for deceit. Even if one doesn't bed another, I think wanting to is pretty close to the same thing - and that lust is part of being human. Also, does monogamy extend to masturbation? The whole idea seems nutty to me.

Good hypothesis RichLB

[billy2bs]

Monogamy..well i once described it like this I absolutely love vanilla ice cream and always go back to it. But everyone once in a while i have to have some maple walnut or coffee or chocolate or other scrumptious flavor Ice cream is so yummy you just have to try them all. But I will still go back to Vanilla cause thats the one I love best of all. Now I can't say it's good for anyone else but I don't have to. It works for me, that's what matters.... me and my....

Monogamy is a decision for the only two people involved and no one else.

[thonglor55]

And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity. Oh dear me.

And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity. Oh dear me.

You sound like an decrepit old Victorian Spinster from a Charles Dickens novel. Is it lonely on that planet you seem to occupy wherever it is?

And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity. Oh dear me.

You sound like an decrepit old Victorian Spinster from a Charles Dickens novel. Is it lonely on that planet you seem to occupy wherever it is?


And what planet sir are you from!

[thonglor55]

You sound like an decrepit old Victorian Spinster from a Charles Dickens novel.Which character in which novel in particular are you basing that on? I'm familiar with all of Dickens' works but that particular characterisation doesn't ring any bells. Perhaps you can enlighten us (but I suspect not)? You're surely not going to suggest Miss Haversham?

[netrix]

wow what's with all the haters?

it amuses me how people always see the world through their own experiences.
expats in pattaya see thailand as gogo bars and money boys and little else.
old promiscuous queens spending their retirement on hookers see the entire
gay world as drugs and prostitution.

maybe there's a whole world out there you're just simply unfamiliar with.
i have many monogamous gay friends. it's not as uncommon as you may
think. anyone can get laid. it takes more than 800 baht and a boner to
have a meaningful relationship.

so kudos to matt, i say. i'm single now but when i'm in a relationship i
much prefer being monogamous over an open relationship. it feels better
giving all of myself to one person who does the same with me.

Maybe there's a whole world out there you're just simply unfamiliar with. I have many monogamous gay friends. It's not as uncommon as you may think, anyone can get laid. It takes more than 800 baht and a boner to have a meaningful relationship.
So kudos to matt, i say. i'm single now but when i'm in a relationship i much prefer being monogamous over an open relationship. it feels better
giving all of myself to one person who does the same with me.

I couldn't agree more with you netrix, and what Matt does or might not do for a living has absolutely nothing to do with his relationship or indeed his original post. It doesn't matter what he or some others post in here they would get attacked or belittled whatever!

I couldn't agree more with you netrix, and what Matt does or might not do for a living has absolutely nothing to do with his relationship or indeed his original post. It doesn't matter what he or some others post in here they would get attacked or belittled whatever!

You sound like an decrepit old Victorian Spinster from a Charles Dickens novel. Is it lonely on that planet you seem to occupy wherever it is?[quote combat]

Me thinks white man speaks with falk tongue!

I couldn't agree more with you netrix, and what Matt does or might not do for a living has absolutely nothing to do with his relationship or indeed his original post. It doesn't matter what he or some others post in here they would get attacked or belittled whatever!

Me thinks white man speaks with falk tongue!

Four posts and already you are jumping in feet first, I wonder what handle you used before? But only time will tell on that one!

I see combat cant answer thonglor55s question about Dickens no surprise really hes always big noting himself.

[gra46]

well back to the question,I really want to be monogamous ,i love my boy dearly .
Before i met him i was a butterfly but fell so much in love with him
But i stopped being the butterfly ,i just see 1 other and it still CHEATING
What i think is missing in this relationship is he sincere
for you Matt 98% may aswell be 50 % you have doubt

[Beachlover]

Great topic...

I'm monogamous when I'm in a relationship. I think when you go into a meaningful relationship you should stay monogamous unless you discuss with it with the other guy first or when it's pretty clear it's just in a non-serious "casual sex buddy" thing you have going.

Having said that... the same shoe doesn't fit everyone and I think it's great there's a diversity of approaches. Everyone's needs/situation is different and what works for Matt might not work for someone else.


I'm curious, how many here in a relationship are truly monogamous?
Hehe... when I first read this I was thinking, "so Matt, you've been with Kim over a year now. Starting to get frisky?".


I couldn't imagine going at this life alone.
Yeah, entrepreneurship can be lonely and sometimes I think it'd be a hell of a lot easier having someone beside me. I'm lucky to have really good mates though...


So why would I risk throwing all that away, just to have sex with someone I barely know?
Interesting way to put it...


Can someone explain to me why monogamy is so highly valued?
I don't think it's the be all and end all, but there's certainly value in it. But life long monogamy from a young age is too much to ask and too much to miss out on.

I've had a lot of one-nighters and flings so far but sometimes get bored of them. I'm in my mid-twenties so I think for now, the thing to do is get it out of my system before I start craving stability too much.

Eventually I'll get in a more emotionally intimate and long-term relationship and that's when things'll change. I'm happy to be monogamous but I can compromise if my partner differs. I'd be comfortable having the odd fling occasionally when the craving arises, perhaps together (threesome...?) but definitely be open and transparent about it. Not healthy to do it behind each other's back. It leads to miss-trust and jealousy issues.


From what I can tell, those who insist on monogamy are placing the price of their relationship on their partner being deprived of the pleasures of sexual adventuring. If you truly loved your partner wouldn't you want them to find as much pleasure in life as possible?
I agree. Perhaps some people need to think it through a bit more and perhaps some have thought it through and decided they want monogamy. The thing is to be flexible, empathise and understand how your partner might feel and be willing to compromise if you feel it's worthwhile.

[Beachlover]

wow what's with all the haters?
I agree...

Them haters can't tell you nothing...

Them haters can't tell you nothing...

Them haters can't tell you nothing...

[youtube:2t52kij7]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAZ33W-cfpY[/youtube:2t52kij7]

[Beachlover]

Me thinks white man speaks with falk tongue!
Four posts and already you are jumping in feet first, I wonder what handle you used before? But only time will tell on that one!
Happyboy/Undaunted is back throwing out insults and being a ridiculous moron again... Is Gaybutton not keeping him occupied?



And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity. Oh dear me.
You sound like an decrepit old Victorian Spinster from a Charles Dickens novel. Is it lonely on that planet you seem to occupy wherever it is?
Homintern/Thonglor55 resides on planet f*ckstick. He's an all-round f*ckstick who actually contributes NOTHING to this forum but jabs and arsehole comments. Nice members like cdnmatt shouldn't have to deal with losers like this but such is life...

[cdnmatt]

Do you think I give a shit about Matt having a monogamous relationship? He can do what ever the fuck he pleases, but I wish he would stop carping about those of us who do not want to follow in his benighted footsteps.

Well, considering the childish tantrum you just threw, you're obviously not very comfortable in your own skin. You're right, that comment you quoted was out of line, hence why I removed it. Obviously not quick enough, because you seen it before I had the chance to remove it.


Can someone explain to me why monogamy is so highly valued?

Excellent question. It's because you can share yourself with someone. You're never alone, because there's somebody out there who knows all your secrets and idiosyncrasies, and you know all of theirs. It's all ok though, including the bad stuff about each of you, because you love each other. It's also because no matter what happens, and regardless of how successful or lucky you are, life WILL knock you on your ass. That's just a simple fact of life. When that happens, having someone fully behind you to support you, makes all the difference in the world.

That's why monogamy is highly valued. You can't have that if you're sleeping around, and sharing your body with others.


Whatever the state of your business or work just remember that you are a walking ATM for your current Thai who is suckering you for all you are worth so you had better make sure that the rice bowl you provide to the Thai and the rest of his leeches is not empty.

Is he with me for financial benefit and a better life? Of course, and I'm under no delusions. Would he be with me if I was Thai? Probably not. Does he love me? Absolutely. Is he to be there when life kicks me down, and help me get back on my feet again? Absolutely, and he's proven that several times. Make of it what you will, I don't care.


wow what's with all the haters?

it amuses me how people always see the world through their own experiences.
expats in pattaya see thailand as gogo bars and money boys and little else.

Yeah, you would have thought by now I would have learned not to start discussions on a discussion forum, eh? Geez... I don't give a fuck what anyone else does, and I'm just voicing my thoughts & opinions, hence the discussion part of the forum.


Hehe... when I first read this I was thinking, "so Matt, you've been with Kim over a year now. Starting to get frisky?".

Ohhh, I'd be lieing if I said I hadn't thought about it. Head to Pattaya for a week to party, and have every night, massages in the morning, etc. But actions are what count though, not thoughts.


And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity.

heh, you obviously know absolutely nothing about the adult industry, do you? Do you think all that HD porn, extensive and complex marketing campaigns, high-end designs & promotional material, terabytes of data getting transferred every day, and everything else is all done by a bunch of lowlifes with camcorders? If anything, I'd say the adult industry contains a higher caliber of businessmen than most industries, simply because of the amount of money involved.

Good retort Matt, well put, but whatever you say or ask in here there are those who need to mock just for the hell of it.

[Beachlover]

Good retort Matt, well put, but whatever you say or ask in here there are those who need to mock just for the hell of it.
Yeah, that's true. And look, you've just got to be thick skinned.

SGT's an awesome board with a lot of entertaining, intelligent, interesting characters but you have to wade through a few f*cksticks and arseholes to enjoy it.


why do you preach to others how to live?
I think you're a little sensitive or over-reactive, Thai Dyed.

How does Matt "preach" to others how to live? He puts interesting questions out for discussion. He does put his own personal view on the plate, but most importantly he puts it out for discussion.


Do you honestly believe that any sane person would want to be in your shoes after all the crap you have brought up in your posts...
I'd love to be in Matt's shoes. I love my life now, but I've got a lot of responsibilities to family and attachments. Matt sounds like he's cut the strings, put his balls on the line and started afresh. Good on him.


Ohhh, I'd be lieing if I said I hadn't thought about it. Head to Pattaya for a week to party, and have every night, massages in the morning, etc. But actions are what count though, not thoughts.
I knew it! Hehe... Fair enough.



And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity.
heh, you obviously know absolutely nothing about the adult industry, do you? Do you think all that HD porn, extensive and complex marketing campaigns, high-end designs & promotional material, terabytes of data getting transferred every day, and everything else is all done by a bunch of lowlifes with camcorders? If anything, I'd say the adult industry contains a higher caliber of businessmen than most industries, simply because of the amount of money involved.
Hell, I'll admit I've done work for the adult industry before, but only once. It was interesting but not really the kind of work that gets us more clients so I declined to do more.

Homintern/Thonglor55's just being an general f*ckstick trying to find ways to take jabs at you and implying you're some low-life for being involved in that industry. Ignore him.

Homintern/Thonglor55's just being an general f*ckstick trying to find ways to take jabs at you and implying you're some low-life for being involved in that industry. Ignore him.

And you can bet thonglor55 has never been to a Go Go Bar, offed anyone for sex or looked at any porn either. Perhaps he's one of those missionary types living in Thailand attempting to convert everyone to a virtuous life.

[the1]

Combat/Sanook/Beachlover.........having a boring day? How many times have you flooded this board already today? around 20 posts?

Reading some of them, you seem to be in a really bad mood, go outside grab some fresh air, its good for you!

Combat/Sanook/Beachlover.........having a boring day? How many times have you flooded this board already today? around 20 posts?

Reading some of them, you seem to be in a really bad mood, go outside grab some fresh air, its good for you!


You must be mistaken as his name is on here eleven times surely he must have a controlling interest or at least someones nephew.......

You must be mistaken as his name is on here eleven times surely he must have a controlling interest or at least someones nephew.......

Hypocrite, you've posted 8 times and so far and 7 of them have been today!

You must be mistaken as his name is on here eleven times surely he must have a controlling interest or at least someones nephew.......

Hypocrite, you've posted 8 times and so far and 7 of them have been today!



Isn't it great and I actually say something other than insulting people!

[Thor69]

Monogamy and fidelity have two different meanings. Monogamous doesn't mean sexual exclusivity. It means you value that relationship above all others. Fidelity with someone means sexual exclusivity. I am sure that many posters can consider themselves monogamous as they have a 'boy special' they see now and then.

Matt's relationship suits him and whether you approve or not isn't any of your business. Those that are saying negative things about his relationship are probably promiscuous queens than can't maintain anything longer that a week or two. They bring their negativity and paranoia into the situation and eventually destroy it. Too bad for them!

Monogamy and fidelity have two different meanings. Monogamous doesn't mean sexual exclusivity. It means you value that relationship above all others. Fidelity with someone means sexual exclusivity. I am sure that many posters can consider themselves monogamous as they have a 'boy special' they see now and then.

Matt's relationship suits him and whether you approve or not isn't any of your business. Those that are saying negative things about his relationship are probably promiscuous queens than can't maintain anything longer that a week or two. They bring their negativity and paranoia into the situation and eventually destroy it. Too bad for them!

Thor you get my vote any day...

[thonglor55]

heh, you obviously know absolutely nothing about the adult industry, do you? Do you think all that HD porn, extensive and complex marketing campaigns, high-end designs & promotional material, terabytes of data getting transferred every day, and everything else is all done by a bunch of lowlifes with camcorders? If anything, I'd say the adult industry contains a higher caliber of businessmen than most industries, simply because of the amount of money involved.I'm sure that the extermination camps of Nazi Germany were also at the technological forefront of their day; that doesn't make their creators and operators into a moral heroes. Just because most members of this Board are or have at one time or another spent their time chasing prostitutes shouldn't blind us to the view that you are, I thought, promoting - that fidelity is a morally better outcome than promiscuity. My point is that you are confusing morality with commerce and cannot see how morally confused you are by chasing the pornography dollar while espousing monogamy. That's usually known, by the way, as hypocrisy.

[cdnmatt]

I'm sure that the extermination camps of Nazi Germany were also at the technological forefront of their day; that doesn't make their creators and operators into a moral heroes.

So now people involved in the adult industry in any shape or form are comparable to Nazis? Huh?


Just because most members of this Board are or have at one time or another spent their time chasing prostitutes shouldn't blind us to the view that you are, I thought, promoting - that fidelity is a morally better outcome than promiscuity. My point is that you are confusing morality with commerce and cannot see how morally confused you are by chasing the pornography dollar while espousing monogamy. That's usually known, by the way, as hypocrisy.

Once again, you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, so why do you keep talking? It's a $70 billion per-year industry. What? You don't think there's people within the industry who have a loving wife & kids, a dog they call their best friend, a nice house in the sub-burbs, and all that? And why am I even wasting the time to debate this with you? Go stick your head in your ass, where it belongs.

And if you must know, I sell high-end marketing solutions to affiliates within the industry, who promote various pay sites, who go through agencies to receive their content, who get their content from variety of places, who get their content from producers. I'm about five contacts away from an actual producer, idiot. Not that its any of your business anyway.

Why does it have to be love = monogamy = fidelity Matt? If that works for you fine. But why does your moral certainty and absolutism have to apply to everyone else. Why is that if I don't live by your moral code my life is somehow diminished?

You clearly don't like the suggestion that your professional life is in moral question because you work peripherally in the porn industry, yet seem to have no problem suggesting that those who have non-monogamous relationships are inferior. And in case you are wondering I couldn't give a shit one way or the other what you do for a living.

In the future when you want to have a discussion about the human condition, try getting off your moral high horse first.

[thonglor55]

I'm sure that the extermination camps of Nazi Germany were also at the technological forefront of their day; that doesn't make their creators and operators into a moral heroes.So now people involved in the adult industry in any shape or form are comparable to Nazis? Huh?.I'd stick to pornography, cdnmatt, as your grasp of logic is tenuous at best. What I am saying is that being at the technological forefront of anything - your argument in favour of sucking up to pornographers - confers no moral advantage whatsoever. You are confusing morality with money or/and technology. People are either moral or they are not. It's like pregnancy - you cannot be, so I'm told, a liitle bit pregnant. While I enjoy some pornography I'm not kidding myself, as you seem to be doing to yourself, that it's an industry mostly run by clean-living folks who love their wife and kiddies and adore their pet dog. Hitler, by the way, was renowned for espousing family values, as well as being an ardent greenie. That's why so many "faggots" and other "degenerates" ended up in the extermination camps, You are breathtakingly ignorant of history and of human nature.

Are stable (ie. usually monogamous) relationships morally superior? It depends on how you define what is "moral". Generally though, buttressed by religion, societies have valued stable relationships over promiscuous behaviour. Recent studies have shown that a stable relationship is better both for any children of the relationship and for the mental health of the participants. If morality is in one sense that which is valued by society then stable relationships are morally superior. Promiscuous behaviour by one or both partners has usually been seen as a threat to the stability of the relationship. The promotion of stable relationships to the benefit of society is the argument that neo-conservatives most often advance for their support of "gay marriage".

Then we have truly ignorant posters like combat who simply don't understand the subtleties of the human condition. Because I point out cdnmatt's hypocrisy I am supposedly someone preaching morality, who has never frequented a gogo bar nor "offed" a boy. What nonsense. Most educated people are familiar with St Augustine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augustine_of_Hippo)'s prayer "Grant me chastity and continence - just not yet" which encapsulates many a dilemma. However posters like combat or Beachlover or cdnmatt - the latter two examples of callow youth with absolutely no sense of the lessons of history - excel at jumping to conclusions. The real nasties of this Board are people like the previous three (a self-reinforcing mutual admiration society) whose response to everything they dislike is to make an ad hominem attack on the writer, resorting to the sort of name-calling that is common in the school playground and, unforunately, in the social media generally, of which forums like this are a type. Previously if someone stood on a street corner and screamed "you're all fuckwit, dickshit bogans"(to paraphrase Beachlover) civilsed persons would ignore him as they passed by and assume at the very least the poor chap was mentally unstable. Certainly they are a type of bully. Now they are celebrated on Twitter, Facebook and forums like this, and their rants tolerated if not encouraged because they can find foul-mouthed and intellectually-limited chums online. They are simply (cyber-)bullies and every time they resort to such tactics we should point out that fact.

I'm curious, how many here in a relationship are truly monogamous? My apologies if I'm wrong, but it seems many gay individuals can't and/or don't want to keep their dicks to one partner. Many seem to want a partner, but only as long as they can have friends with benefits on the side. I've never quite understood that, as in my mind, it diminishes the entire relationship, and the entire reason of being together.

So anyway, I'm curious, who here is truly monogamous?

I am, in fact I am very no-gamous. :bot:

They are simply (cyber-)bullies and every time they resort to such tactics we should point out that fact.

I couldn't agree more.

[Wesley]

I'm curious, how many here in a relationship are truly monogamous? My apologies if I'm wrong, but it seems many gay individuals can't and/or don't want to keep their dicks to one partner. Many seem to want a partner, but only as long as they can have friends with benefits on the side. I've never quite understood that, as in my mind, it diminishes the entire relationship, and the entire reason of being together.

So anyway, I'm curious, who here is truly monogamous?
I had three that were monogamous, one open, and now I am looking, However, at my age why limit myself/

[netrix]

RichLB wrote:
From what I can tell, those who insist on monogamy are placing the price of their relationship on their partner being deprived of the pleasures of sexual adventuring. If you truly loved your partner wouldn't you want them to find as much pleasure in life as possible?

I completely disagree with this. You're building your attempt at logic on a faulty premise.
Why do you feel that "pleasure" is the ultimate measure of quality of life?

If a desire for your partner to have pleasure is the only thing motivating you in a relationship
and the only thing that determines your behavior towards and influence of your partner, then
why not encourage them to use heroin, or sit on the couch and eat KFC all day, or sleep 18
hours a day. I'm not advocating "morality" based on someone else's terms, or claiming that
monogomy is the higher ground because it's "right." But depriving yourself of overindulgence
of any pleasure is most often the more responsible choice.

If you truly loved your partner wouldn't you want them to find as much pleasure in life as possible?
That's just ludicrous. Pleasure at the expense of what? Pleasure for its own sake is gluttony.

[Smiles]

As a long term monogamous-er, I say: cheers to (joyful) us/them, and just as many cheers to the (joyful) and non-apologist butterflies ... where would the delicious Boys of Thailand be without them?
And where would the oh-so-serious farang-on-farang tete-a-tetes ("... what a glorious ass he had! You licked it? He let you?? Smooth balls? Tell me about it/them! He actually kissed me, tonguefully!! ... ") under the umbrellas at Jomtien be? On the Egyptian Revolution?

RichLB's pop psychology take on fucking-around may make him feel all goody and squishy and warm about the 'naturalness' of it ... but I'm not quite sure why he feels the need for such a Freudian Snoopy blanket on the issue in the first place.

[Beachlover]

Matt's relationship suits him and whether you approve or not isn't any of your business. Those that are saying negative things about his relationship are probably promiscuous queens than can't maintain anything longer that a week or two. They bring their negativity and paranoia into the situation and eventually destroy it. Too bad for them!
Well put, Thor69!... Totally agree.

[Beachlover]

My point is that you are confusing morality with commerce and cannot see how morally confused you are by chasing the pornography dollar while espousing monogamy.
No it's not. This thread didn't start on about morality or his commercial activities at all. It's debating the benefits and downsides of monogamy to a relationship and the individuals involved.

You're a f*ckstick trying to spin it into something about the moralities of the porn business so you can find little anal flaws and attack him as you always do. The moment he mentioned his business services the porn industry you jumped on it and used it to make jabs at him.

Matt sounds like a pretty decent/intelligent, hard working guy who's good company and looks after people around him. You're a f*ckstick just trying to tear him apart. You have no purpose other than to vent your bitterness and push out whatever crap you carry against "callow youth" and people who may be practical and not so strictly academic/intellectual.


why am I even wasting the time to debate this with you [thonglor55/homintern]? Go stick your head in your ass, where it belongs.
Exactly... the guy's a f*ckstick, Matt. Not worth your time.

Remember the last time you came across a sleazy, poorly dressed, unappealing creep of a farang going about Thailand? That's him. He's just not worth bothering with.

You're a f*ckstick... a sleazy, poorly dressed, unappealing creep of a farang going about Thailand? That's him.

тАЬIf you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.тАЭ
Elbert Hubbard

[Jason1988]

I'm curious, how many here in a relationship are truly monogamous? My apologies if I'm wrong, but it seems many gay individuals can't and/or don't want to keep their dicks to one partner. Many seem to want a partner, but only as long as they can have friends with benefits on the side. I've never quite understood that, as in my mind, it diminishes the entire relationship, and the entire reason of being together.

So anyway, I'm curious, who here is truly monogamous?

Monogamous relationships are somewhat foreign to the thinking of the older set that inhabits this message board. They grew up very closeted and had to seek sexual partners in bathrooms, parks, beaches, etc. If they did go to a gay bar it was to get drunk, find someone to have sex with and forget about the whole thing by morning. Some of the luckier ones established relationships, but they too were flawed with gilt, self loathing and paranoia.

Matt, you are truly one of the lucky ones, growing up in what I would call the best of times for gay relationships.

Young people today can access their smart phone and find a hook up with one of the many apps such as Grindr. They have Adam4Adam, GayRomeo and a host of other websites to find someone in just a few minutes or for later that evening. This saves precious time in a bar, drinking too much and sometimes not getting the nerve to make contact with that hottie across the bar. They younger people of today can get the hooking up out of their system earlier in life and be able to move on to things like dating and eventual relationships. The older generation never had those options. That's why you see them all over places like Pattaya drooling over young boys in skimpy briefs. They are use to that lifestyle and don't know how to cope with a nice young man living with them on a daily basis.

Consider your relationship a gift and when or if it ends you'll be a better person that has learned valuable life lessons. From this you'll be ready to move on to your next boyfriend or partner.

Most of the posters have no idea what you and your boyfriend have as they view their sexual partners as objects and not the human being that are.
What a pity life has dealt them that hand in life.

[Beachlover]

Most of the posters have no idea what you and your boyfriend have as they view their sexual partners as objects and not the human being that are.
What a pity life has dealt them that hand in life.
Jason1988... I thought your entire post was excellent and agree with everything you say.

Your comments are a good explanation of why there's so much back lash against Matt (and the other young poster/s) here.


younger people of today can get the hooking up out of their system earlier in life and be able to move on to things like dating and eventual relationships...
Absolutely... I agree it wasn't so easy for the previous generation (still no excuse to lash out at younger guys) but having said that, I've met plenty of older gay couples who are happy and doing just fine.

[thonglor55]

You're a f*ckstick.Beachlover = Cyber-bully #1

[dab69]

interesting to read about the woman's
point of view...

Beachlover = Cyber-bully #1

That's rich coming from you, why don't you just move on?

[That's rich coming from you, why don't you just move on?

And there is Cyber-bully #2 right on time.

[gra46]

Beachlover = Cyber-bully #1

That's rich coming from you, why don't you just move on?
Dont tell him to move on he will just go to another thread here and attack again,he contained in this thread ,he not winning so he attacks then goes in his nusery and sulks like the 4 year old he acts, A attention seeker

DON'T FEED THE TROLLS

You're a f*ckstick... a sleazy, poorly dressed, unappealing creep of a farang going about Thailand? That's him.

тАЬIf you can't answer a man's arguments, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.тАЭ
Elbert Hubbard

I am intrigued by the use of this apparent insult "Fuckstick." It's a new expression to me. Can someone please enlighten me?

On the scale of personal insults how does it rate? Is it more or less severe than calling someone a nitwit; is it worse than the 'C' word (ladies wee-wee hole)?

And what is a 'Fuckstick' anyway? A stick used in the act of coition? Has anyone experience of using a stick during lovemaking?
Is it the same as a dildo but made of wood? Is it part of an apparatus or a prosthetic penis.

The help of the user of this expression is sought ... or indeed anyone who knows. Thank you.

[giggsy]

The help of the user of this expression is sought ... or indeed anyone who knows. Thank you.
Have you tried Google?

[Beachlover]

Beachlover = Cyber-bully #1
That's rich coming from you, why don't you just move on?
Combat... you're right. He can say that because he's not a genuine person with any accountability to his character (since he has over a dozen handles on this forum).

Thonglor55 and OIAW have teamed up to attack someone again. You can't reason with them and they have no integrity or real purpose to make this forum better... They're very bitter people just here to vent something. Best to just ignore them.


It's a new expression to me. Can someone please enlighten me?
This is Cedric or some other troll returning... best to just ignore him.

Personally, I would just delete his posts each time so his efforts are wasted, but our mod is a busy man. :happy7: (Thank you, BTW).

Back so soon Cedric?

[thonglor55]

I've received some correspondence I believe I should share with Forum members:
I'm afraid my son is a disappointment to his mother. Respect for older people is such a core Asian value but as you can see from his postings he thinks that everyone's against him because they are old and must therefore be envious that he is young. So he bullies them for being wrinklies. It was the same at school. He always thought the other kids disliked him because he was clever, not because he's a pain in the arse. The only things he was ever any good at were individual activities, he was never a team player - can't get on with other people because he thinks no-one is his equal. It's always been mundum contra Beachlover, as we say in our quaint Asian way. And of course the closet thing. I really want to be a member of PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians And Gays) and march in Sydney's Mardi Gras Parade but oh no, he's so selfish, staying in the wardrobe. Good luck with your scribbles. Ma

[Beachlover]

That's funny because my Mum doesn't actually write in English (or at least in anything close to fluent).

That's funny because my Mum doesn't actually write in English (or at least in anything like a native English speaker would).

At least you know who your Mum is Beach, unlike the hilarious troll 'thonglor55' who posted that rubbish.

[cdnmatt]

thonglor55 doesn't even know what thonglor55 is talking about. Just look at his post on page 3 of this thread. Rants on incoherently about the porn industry, then skips into morality, health studies into family life, over to St. Augustine's prayer, then over to online bullying via social media. Then finally concludes by implying that he's a mighty intellect, and many of us simply don't reach his level.

Things that make you go, hmmm...

thonglor55 doesn't even know what thonglor55 is talking about. Just look at his post on page 3 of this thread. Rants on incoherently about the porn industry, then skips into morality, health studies into family life, over to St. Augustine's prayer, then over to online bullying via social media. Then finally concludes by implying that he's a mighty intellect, and many of us simply don't reach his level.

Things that make you go, hmmm...

He just doesn't like the idea that someone might be happy and enjoying their life Matt. Best ignore him, trolls are happiest talking to themselves.

trolls are happiest talking to themselves.

As the preceding 4 posts so fawningly demonstrate

Monogomy is good for preventing the spread of colds and STDs. Beyond that I think the preference depends on your emotional make up. I preferred monogomy for most of my life because I had a habit of becoming infatuated too quickly and couldn't handle casual relationships. I eventually got over it.

[thonglor55]

He just doesn't like the idea that someone might be happy and enjoying their life Matt.How's that research into Victorian spinsters in the novels of Dickens going, combat old boy? After all you've got plenty of time on your hands.

How's that research into Victorian spinsters in the novels of Dickens going, combat old boy? After all you've got plenty of time on your hands.

Seems like you aren't quite as knowledgable as you like to make out!

"The "Lilliputian College" in "Tom Tiddler's Ground" run by Miss Pupford, who gives a lecture on the mythology of the heathens, "always carefully excluding Cupid from recognition". The perspective adopted in these portraits is that of a casual adult observer, who visits an establishment generally kept by a mature, narrow-minded spinster. The humourous character of these vignettes is evidence of a typically patriarchal perspective: Dickens shared with most men of his time an ideal of femininity which emphasised the teaching of domestic crafts and responsibilities, rather than imaginative or intellectual pursuits".

[Beachlover]

thonglor55 doesn't even know what thonglor55 is talking about... concludes by implying that he's a mighty intellect, and many of us simply don't reach his level.
He's probably some fart who thinks he has a mighty intellect but has never done anything commercially useful with it. Loser.

[Thai Dyed]

thonglor55 doesn't even know what thonglor55 is talking about... concludes by implying that he's a mighty intellect, and many of us simply don't reach his level.
He's probably some fart who thinks he has a mighty intellect but has never done anything commercially useful with it. Loser.

Beachlover, I hate to be the one to break this news to you, but most of the greatest intellects in human history did absolutely nothing that could even be remotely considered "commercially useful".

[Aunty]

Why, Beryl, you've risen from the cesspit! How miraculous, darling. So tell me, what was life like down there with all the other turds?

And as for 'young' Beachlover and Matt. As a man in my 40s, both of them bore the fucken tits right off me. I can only hope that they are not representative of most young gay men of today.

Cedric, I love you! Don't mind Beachy, he's Chinese with a wee pee pee. You know how queer they go when they see the size of gorgeous Westerner's dong.

[Smiles]

" ... Why, Beryl, you've risen from the cesspit! How miraculous, darling. So tell me, what was life like down there with all the other turds? ... "
Why Aunty, ditto for your dearest self.
Couldn't have said it better myself.

Now they are celebrated on Twitter, Facebook and forums like this, and their rants tolerated if not encouraged because they can find foul-mouthed and intellectually-limited chums online.This attack is unacceptable. I work in social media and I can tell you it is the way of the future.

I work in social media and I can tell you it is the way of the future.

Ever thought of getting a real job?

:dontknow: :dontknow:

... Don't mind Beachy, he's Chinese with a wee pee pee. You know how queer they go when they see the size of gorgeous Westerner's dong.

Is that comment below the belt? :rolling: :rolling: :rolling: Poor old Beachrubber :thebirdman:

[Beachlover]

He's probably some fart who thinks he has a mighty intellect but has never done anything commercially useful with it. Loser.
Beachlover, I hate to be the one to break this news to you, but most of the greatest intellects in human history did absolutely nothing that could even be remotely considered "commercially useful".
You're probably right, Thai Dyed... But there are plenty of intellects who did! The point is, being an intellect means f*ck all unless you put it to use, whether commercially or in other ways, which add value.



I work in social media and I can tell you it is the way of the future.
Ever thought of getting a real job?
You're probably just joking, Scottish... but social media is one of the fastest growing promotional mediums now and delivers an extraordinarily high ROI when done effectively. The problem is, a lot of business owners don't understand it well enough to make use of it or trust someone else to implement and run it for them so they lose out.

[dab69]

being an intellect means f*ck all unless you put it to use, whether commercially or in other ways, which add value.

wow you really have that rope learning down.
go girl, despite your limited capacity

Who here is truly monogamous?

Certainly not me. Who has time for that?

[cdnmatt]

Ever thought of getting a real job?

Had several of those back when I was 14 / 15, then again at 17 - 19. They're horrible. Wouldn't recommend them to anyone. :)

Some boss telling me when to be where, how long to work, what to do, then after a year I'm supposed to kiss his ass because of a 3% raise, and the fact he took me out for dinner a couple times. Not for me, thanks! Besides, these days the conventional job market isn't exactly stable either.

Monogomy is good for preventing the spread of colds and STDs.

I think sexual monogamy is a cultural ideal, rather a baked in genetic adaptive trait. Cultures adopted it for societal stability and, as mlomker says, for disease control. Homosexual repression was adopted by many cultures for much the same reason (disease control). Today, with advances in medicine and condoms, we're freer to listen to our natural sexual instincts without adopting the social mores of our distant ancestors.

I don't care which people choose, but for the good of your health and society, I'd say choose at least one; condoms or monogomy. I choose condoms.

[Beachlover]

Some boss telling me when to be where, how long to work, what to do...
Yep, some older managers/employers are stupid that way. They're more worried about the rules and process than outcomes. I let my staff work from home or off-site when they need/want to as long as they're accessible when clients/colleagues need them. It's about being outcome-driven...

Big Babies
Think the Boomers are self-absorbed? Wait until you meet their kids.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/18/AR2006051801091.html
http://www.newsweek.com/2009/04/17/generation-me.html

[Diec]

I let my staff work from home or off-site when they need/want to as long as they're accessible when clients/colleagues need them.

Beachbore, I think you should just show up at your cubicle and don't worry about the other employees, unless you want to lose your internet and therefore can't post to all the message boards you belong to.

[Jellybean]

Great topic Matt, I see that it has already stimulated a great deal of comment.To answer your specific question, I was always faithful whilst in relationships before I came out to live in Thailand. Of course when not in a relationship I had a whale of a time whilst looking for my next partner.

Since moving to Thailand IтАЩve only had one serious relationship and I was monogamous but sadly, my Thai boyfriend was not. When I discovered what he had done we split up for about 2 weeks, but he asked me to take him back, which I did because I missed him deeply. However, things were not the same as before, I felt the trust was gone and requests for money seemed to be never ending, so we just drifted apart. We still talk from time to time and I do genuinely miss him and his family.

It has been nearly 2 years since we split up and despite seeing a huge number of guys from Internet dating sites and visiting bars in Bangkok, Pattaya, Phucket & Chiang Mai I still have not found another boyfriend.

I would add that I have been following your stories about you and Kim with great interest. I found that I could easily identify with some of the events you have shared with us. I had not discovered SGT at that time and now I see that quite a few posters here have managed long term relations with ex-bar boys. I sometimes wonder if I had known another farang in a broadly similar situation to me then maybe I could have shared my feelings and sought his advice. Perhaps then I might have been able to save my relationship. My ex-boyfriend is also from a village in Issan province.

So, to sum up, my preference is therefore to have a monogamous relationship. I find my current situation unsatisfying. Perhaps one day my ex-boyfriend and I will get back together, who knows?

[Beachlover]

Interesting post, Jellybean.

Do you live in Pattaya, Bangkok or other? How old are you and what age BF are you after?

cdnmatt is 28/29 years old so probably factoring in different dynamics to most posters here.

If you're seeking a genuine, monogamous relationship, I reckon looking outside the working boy/moneyboy scene is the place to start. You're better off with the more middle class or at least successful working class boy than someone who is reliant on your financial support for a decent quality of life (this reliance blurs feelings/intentions).

If you don't realistically think it'll be practical for you (consider age/looks/personality/charm) to find a boyfriend of the age/looks you must have then consider finding a moneyboy/working boy who is seeking a relationship and genuine, but re-consider insistence for him to be monogamous as this may simply not be realistic. If you were 21 and barely out in the adult world, would you find it easy to be monogamous with a 40+ year old long-term partner?

re-consider insistence for him to be monogamous as this may simply not be realistic. If you were 21 and barely out in the adult world, would you find it easy to be monogamous with a 40+ year old long-term partner?

This is good advice. I wonder how much this single unrealistic demand is the root problem of many Falang-Thai relationships. Even the quadragenarians should be careful about this one. It's reasonable to ask that he not be sleeping with other Farang, or for money, but asking a 21y.o. money boy for general sexual monogamy is asking to be lied to.

[Beachlover]

I think you're right, but only in referene to farang/moneyboy relationships. I don't think monogamy works in most of these, unless the boy genuinely loves the farang and money is only a minor secondary reason for being with him (rare for moneyboys).

Older farang who take moneyboy partners need to have the empathy to put themselves in the boy's shoes as discussed here:
gay-thailand-f9/sex-and-relationships-with-prostitutes-t20569.html (http://www.sawatdee-gay-thailand.com/forum/gay-thailand-f9/sex-and-relationships-with-prostitutes-t20569.html)

When it comes to relationships outside the "working" scene, monogamy isn't so unrealistic or unreasonable in general.

[Jellybean]

A well reasoned post Beachlover and I cannot really disagree with anything you said. I certainly hope that I am being realistic in my expectations of finding a long term companion in Thailand.

Good Lord, you have set me quite a challenging task, which I am not sure that I am up to, but here goes. I split my time between living in Bangkok and London.

Yes, I am older than cdnmatt and I recognise that the dynamics of his situation would not have been exactly the same as mine, although, as I said earlier, I did see some broad similarities. But, despite being older, I claim no advantage or greater or superior knowledge as I had no previous experience in having a relationship with an ex-bar boy or of having a relationship where money was an issue.

So I would have readily taken advice from whatever source I could find as I found myself in previously unchartered territory. I wish I had been aware of SGT at the time, advice from those in successful long term relationships with ex-bar boys would have been of considerable assistance. My friends in London were of no real help, warning me of the dangers and folly of trying to establish a relationship with an ex-bar boy (not their description of him!).

Before I met my boyfriend I had not even considered using Internet dating sites. I spent about 4 years looking for the elusive тАЬMr RightтАЭ in bars, but more often than not I found myself disappointed and continued with my search. But when I met my then boyfriend I seemed to know that he was the one I wanted to have a relationship with, he ticked all the right boxes as they say.

Actually I did not insist that he was monogamous; in fact I donтАЩt think we even discussed the subject, he never seemed interested in anyone else, he said he did not like тАЬbutterfliesтАЭ, he was a family boy, not interested in clubs, drugs or big city life and he seemed at his happiest when we were with his family. If I did insist on anything it was that he drove safely тАУ but hey, that led to more arguments than any other issue and is the subject of a completely different story!

And, I have to say, I was also at my happiest living the quiet rural life in his small village in Issan, which surprised me given that 5 years previously I was enjoying the delights and pleasures of the London club scene and would never have pictured myself happy to live on a farm in northern Thailand. But, unlike cdnmatt, I only spent a few weeks at a time with the family before we returned to Bangkok or I returned to the UK. The family accommodation and toilet facilities in the beginning were absolutely dire. Our plan however was to spend greater time living in the village as time went by. I honestly felt like I had been adopted by his family and the feeling gave me a great deal of contentment, which I have not experienced since.

As regards my boyfriend being faithful, I suppose I was probably operating on the тАЬdonтАЩt ask, donтАЩt tellтАЭ principle. I believed what I did not know would not hurt me, but I had no reason to think he wasnтАЩt being faithful. However, I think most people would draw the line at finding their boyfriend in flagrante delicto with another guy under their own roof. But, as I said in my previous post, we did get back together again 2 weeks later, but then I started to think that the future we had talked about was no longer attainable and that, perhaps, I was being unrealistic. So I decided to cut my losses and move on. It was a painful decision, which was not based on the subject of monogamy but about my ability to continue to support the whole family. I cannot say, hand on heart, that I took the right decision. And given that 2 years have passed since we broke up and I havenтАЩt found a new partner, then it probably means that I still have strong feelings for my ex. I also miss his family and I have been asked on more than one occasion to go and visit them.

After we split up I discovered Internet dating and I met some really lovely guys, but I found that I never had the same feelings for them as I had for my first boyfriend. Many were in the category that you recommend I look at. So whilst quite a fair proportion wanted to be my boyfriend, it was me who wasnтАЩt 100% sure, and I found that I could not make a commitment to them. I am happy to say that in many cases we have remained friends and I continue to keep in touch with them.

Maybe I should content myself with mini-relationships with guys from dating websites and the company of money boys of whom I know quite a few in Bangkok тАУ some would even like to be my boyfriend, but again I am reluctant to commit to another money boy.

I am sure many members here would be very happy with this mixture. But, again, as I said earlier, whilst I find this is pleasurable in the short term, afterwards it leaves me with a dull, empty unsatisfied feeling. But, please donтАЩt get me wrong, I do however consider myself to be extremely lucky to be able to live here in Thailand and to be able to enjoy the company of so many gorgeous Thai guys.

As to the future, well only yesterday I spoke on the тАШphone with a new guy from a dating site, he speaks excellent English, we seemed to have an instant rapport, he looks handsome, has a good sense of humour, has been to university and works for the Interior Ministry so maybe he is exactly the sort of guy you recommend I concentrate on. I shall be seeing him at the weekend - wish me luck!

[youtube:3drcdo0p]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy-Pf6oJNRo[/youtube:3drcdo0p]

[Beachlover]

Jellybean... That's an interesting journey you've had. Thanks for sharing it! Hope you'll post more.

All I can say is yes, if you're seeking something more meaningful than one-night stands and short flings, definitely look outside the moneyboy/commercial scene. The moment money takes the lead or comes in as a major factor, it blurs everything. It blurs their feelings, motives, predictability and your ability to read them.

Some people choose the moneyboy/commercial thing and if you do this I think you just have to accept it's unlikely to be entirely genuine (and you'll need to work harder to read their motives/feelings to determine if it is) and set your expectations of him accordingly.

Some guys here do this and have a pretty realistic and practical attitude to it. They're not looking for a full on life partner and deep love... it's more about friendship, companionship and sex... but maybe that's not you. Other guys do it with very little self-awareness/empathy, think it's a real relationship, set their expectations (and interact with him) accordingly and it ends in disaster.

I think you're in a bit of a bind in that you're still a bit attached to your previous BF. I guess you can either make a mental decision consider that a fulfilling experience and move on... or go back and give it another ago, but only if you feel he's entirely genuine and able to be open with you.

Keep in mind, I think most working boys are probably used to farangs who don't really keep their word and maybe don't treat them very equally. I'm friends with a boy who used to work in a gogo bar. He once told me he doesn't let himself get attached and fall in love with any farang (he has had some who he really liked) because he knows they'll go home and he may not see them again. He once had one who he really liked and hoped would return to be with him. When he e-mailed him, the farang never replied...

Anyway... good luck!

I work in social media and I can tell you it is the way of the future.

Ever thought of getting a real job?

:dontknow: :dontknow:I think it's pretty clear the value social media is providing right now in Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain etc. When else in history have we had revolutions in so many countries at the one time? And one of my workmates has family in New Zealand and he's been able to see from Facebook that they have come through the latest earthquake there ok.

[Smiles]

" ... When else in history have we had revolutions in so many countries at the one time? ... "
1848.

[Beachlover]

I think it's pretty clear the value social media is providing right now in Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain etc. When else in history have we had revolutions in so many countries at the one time? And one of my workmates has family in New Zealand and he's been able to see from Facebook that they have come through the latest earthquake there ok.
We also have the recent example of the recent Bangkok protests/unrest where social media played a critical role in situational awareness and communication for people on the ground trying to stay safe and for broadcasting first-hand accounts of what was happening.

Blogger, Richard Barrow did an amazing job maintaining an up to date Google Map indicating locations for hotspots and hazards as it evolved. It wasn't always fully up to date but it was head and shoulders above anything else available... His Twitter account was probably the best single source of information for what was happening.

" ... When else in history have we had revolutions in so many countries at the one time? ... "
1848.Like this is the 21st century. Who cares about ancient history?

Like this is the 21st century. Who cares about ancient history?

1989/1990 - the collapse of communism in Europe. Is that recent enough for you?

[thonglor55]

How's that research into Victorian spinsters in the novels of Dickens going, combat old boy? After all you've got plenty of time on your hands.Seems like you aren't quite as knowledgable as you like to make out!.You've been doing your homework combat! What a good boy! :lam:

By the way, knowledgeable is spelt with three Es (a bit like a hyper-happy bar boy) - and spelt is British English rather than American English (but of course you know that already)

Like this is the 21st century. Who cares about ancient history?

1989/1990 - the collapse of communism in Europe. Is that recent enough for you?Last millenium. Before Facebook. How old are you guys?

More importantly - how stupid are you?

More importantly - how stupid are you?Why are you dissing me?

[colmx]

As regards my boyfriend being faithful, I suppose I was probably operating on the тАЬdonтАЩt ask, donтАЩt tellтАЭ principle. I believed what I did not know would not hurt me, but I had no reason to think he wasnтАЩt being faithful. However, I think most people would draw the line at finding their boyfriend in flagrante delicto with another guy

Did you catch him with the other guy in Pattaya//Bkk or in issan
In my experience Thai boys rarely "shit on their own doorstep" so i presume it was outside Issan
(or was it with a girl)

Like Matt I was 28 when i first met my BF... he was 18 at the time... 8.5 years we are still together... only get to sepnd 3-4 months of each year tigtehr - but try to make the best of that time.... and both of us are definately still predators... with no sign or monogamy... except on birthdays!

[Smiles]

" ... When else in history have we had revolutions in so many countries at the one time? ... "
1848.Like this is the 21st century. Who cares about ancient history?
You said/asked "When else in history ... ".
Now you might guess why Once in a While thinks you're st*p*d. ( *'s for Beachlover )

[Diec]

( *'s for Beachlover )

Smiley, are you insinuating that beachbore is an **shole? I'm sure your not, but if you were, I'm sure you wouldn't be the first!! LOL

[Jellybean]

Did you catch him with the other guy in Pattaya//Bkk or in issan
In my experience Thai boys rarely "shit on their own doorstep" so i presume it was outside Issan
(or was it with a girl)

Like Matt I was 28 when i first met my BF... he was 18 at the time... 8.5 years we are still together... only get to sepnd 3-4 months of each year tigtehr - but try to make the best of that time.... and both of us are definately still predators... with no sign or monogamy... except on birthdays!

colmx in reply to your question above, I caught them together in my apartment in Bangkok and the other person was another Thai guy.

I am glad to hear your relationship is still going strong after 8┬╜ years тАУ you are obviously doing something right, I wish you both well.

[Beachlover]

More importantly - how stupid are you?Why are you dissing me?
I don't know if you're serious or just taking the piss out of the grumpy "intellects"... but I think it's good either way LOL.

[Dodger]

Thor69 Wrote:


Monogamy and fidelity have two different meanings. Monogamous doesn't mean sexual exclusivity. It means you value that relationship above all others. Fidelity with someone means sexual exclusivity.

Finally, in 8 pages of swash-buckling banter ...an intelligent remark.

TyeDyed...you are living proof that computer keyboards make men out of mice. You're opening comments to CDMatt on this post reveal your idenity as a real "Keyboard Zorro". Can you recommend an effective cleaning fluid for removing venom from a keyboard?

Personally, I value my relationship with him above all others, and I think it's fair to say that he feels the same way, so the term "monogomous" seems to categorize our relationship pretty well.

Thep told me once that he thought I loved my guitar more than him. My response was..." I love you both the same". He wasn't too pleased with that response, so the topic of fidelity is now avoided.

Thep told me once that he thought I loved my guitar more than him. My response was..." I love you both the same". He wasn't too pleased with that response, so the topic of fidelity is now avoided.

Nice one Dodger: All in all it's not so much as to what you say as to what you do. You have proved your love for Thep by the way you are now standing by him in his time of great need. Well done.

Monogamous doesn't mean sexual exclusivity. It means you value that relationship above all others. Fidelity with someone means sexual exclusivity.
Nonsense. Vice versa.

http://www.janthor.com/images/on/melankolicHarem.jpeg
Melancholy in the Harem. Sad to hear that you don't understand males. At least you do understand females!


Many seem to want a partner, but only as long as they can have friends with benefits on the side. I've never quite understood that, as in my mind, it diminishes the entire relationship, and the entire reason of being together.
"In 2000, Dr. Rice published his findings showing that when flies in normally promiscuous habitats were experimentally forced to be monogamous, the evolution of the seminal fluids proteins ultimately promoted the extension of mate survival time, rather than the reduction of it, relative to the promiscuous controls. In addition to this observation, Dr. Rice noted that monogamous males who were placed back into a promiscuous environment displayed an overall reduction of fitness. These data are of particular interest because they show a correlation between the rate of mutation of sexually antagonistic traits, and the degree of commitment between an individual and its mate. This rate is important because of the elevated evolutionary rate of reproduction-associated proteins. A 2002 article in Science indicates that the divergence of these proteins is especially noticeable in the primate lineage leading to humans, mice and rats, marine invertebrates, and D. melanogaster. The observed relationship shown here, in the reproductive proteins of humans and D. melanogaster, gives credibility to the idea that we can learn about our own evolutionary past by observing the rapidly multiplying fruit flies (~1 generation per 2 weeks).

Because sexual antagonism acts as an evolutionary catalyst, at least in terms of these reproductive proteins, it is quite possible that this mechanism is likely to influence the initiation of other evolutionary landmarks, like speciation, Dr. Rice said in a 1997 sociobiological publication. Speciation is the creation of so much genetic divergence that isolated members of what was once one species will become reproductively incompatible. Over time, they will become separate species. Because inter-sexual conflict is so intimately involved with the genetics of the reproductive biochemistry, anatomy, physiology, and behavior, its role as a catalyst for these changes certainly makes it seem like a vitally important factor in the speciation process.

Monandrous (monogamous) groups of female flies were tested against polyandrous (promiscuous females, having high inter-sexual conflict) groups with respect to speciation-causing factors. Another of Dr. Rice's observations, published in 2000, was that speciation occurred four times faster in the polyandrous groups, once again supporting the notion that gender conflict is what Dr. Rice calls an "engine of speciation."

http://www.jyi.org/volumes/volume7/issu ... pbell.html (http://www.jyi.org/volumes/volume7/issue3/features/campbell.html)