Do Thais Fall In Love?

While it is a popular western view that 'falling in love' or 'romantic love' is a natural part of the human condition, others say it is merely cultural conditioning. Some psychologists say it was invented 800 years ago, others that it exists but is a rare experience in older cultures, somewhat akin to temporary insanity!

Now I am certain that Thai mothers love their children the same way Western mothers do, and friends love each other, and there is sexual love, and familial love etc. And I know to that Thais place a greater emphasis on the practicality of a relationship but what I'm really interested in is if 'romantic love' or 'limerence' or 'infatuation' is a foreign concept to Thais?

When I ask a Thai boy if he loves me (in a romantic way), is it a meaningless question? The same as if he asked me if I have 'lost face'? A near-meaningless concept in my culture.

I'm curious to hear the opinions of those more familiar with Thai culture than I.

[dab69]

Some psychologists say it was invented 800 years ago, others that it exists but is a rare experience in older cultures, somewhat akin to temporary insanity!

Psychologists dream up a lot of crap
based on their own views and little else.
Take most of BL's posts for example.

some will tell you what they think you want to hear,
a few others won't. most could deduce this
on their own

Intertesting topic - and a question I have always wondered about myself so I look forward to reading other posters opinions on the matter - although apparently I must be ok as every Thai guy I ever meet ends up apparently "loving me TOO much" so I assume that they MUST mean real love as sure if it's not that then that only leaves loving me for my money or for when I'm "looking after them" and as that fact would be just too sad to comtemplate I think I'll just go on deluding myself for just a little while longer while I can ! :-)

As it appears that there is at least some biological aspect to "love" then there is no reason to think that Thais love any less than others. I think it is a pretty universal human emotion. Culture will obviously affect how that love is expressed.

[Wesley]

As it appears that there is at least some biological aspect to "love" then there is no reason to think that Thais love any less than others. I think it is a pretty universal human emotion. Culture will obviously affect how that love is expressed.

I agree, even now that I know who once In a while is now hehehe. I use to think it was Homiturns second personaity but in a bad mood. Finally in a note I found out who he is. I will try not to shout!

Wesley please do enlighten all of us to my true identity. I shall be curious to know who I really am. Shout it to the world.

Wow! What a deep and complex question you have raised and certainly has multiple answers. This will be very interesting to see what others think.

First, I think that for the most part you are incorrect that MOTHERS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN the same as in the Western world. I truly believe that while some parents love their children here, that having children for most is solely to bring money into the family now and during the parents elder life. A money making machine and no more.

I base that on the many relationships I have had with the boys. The constant phone calls to get money from them, the phone calls that they are not earning and sending into the parents enough money. The fact that they constantly have to return home because the parents need tand expect them to care for the etc. Oh sure there is a type of love for some but I dont think much and definately not like the West.

I have personally seen where a son has not sent "enough" money home and the parents have said that he and his wife and thier child were not welcome in thier home. I think pretty cruel but it is what I have heard before. Parents here can be demanding in this region of the world or at least Thailand.
That is why it is "expected" that what they earn from us, 50% is sent immeadiately home to thier family. It is expected of them.

Now on to the question of love to a farang.
I believe that we are money machines for the most part. I believe that there is LOVE to a farang for the constant support, for food, shelter and clothes.
That we take care of a boy or girl and in turn take care of thier family. I believe that at first, it is probably only money. I believe that there is a certain type of love or rather like otherwise they will not go with you. That thought was the same as someone once told me. I think that if they dont really care for you they wont go with you. I believe that they never have enough no matter how much or what you give them. That they will go out and look for a way to supplement what you give, either turning more tricks or what have you but it is never enough.

I do believe that over a period of a faw years, that this can form INTO a type of love.If they are straight, not the same love that they can have for a girl but you already know that. I have a straight boyfriend that I have had for 4 - 5 years that I truly believe he has formed a bond with me but it is not the same as he has for his Thai girlfriend. I would also think that might be true of a boy and a younger Thai boyfreind.

I think that Thailand is a wonderful place in that we can truly believe what we want to believe and that their are boys and girls here that allow us to live out our fantasies or dreams. Allow us to be happy in our senior years as long as we keep some rules and restraints on the situation or we will swiftly become depressed and broke and they will just move on to the next farang. thats why the suicide rate here is so high I think.

I hope we all find someone to take care of US and keep us happy because that is the important thing at this stage of life, that WE are happy. We cant repeat these years. As the boys constantly say..... "are you happy?" ...... "up to you". Remember these are OUR golden years and that it is important what we want and need and in return, well maybe we give them the love that thier mothers and families do not give them, the support they lack not to have to look for thier next meal or baht.

I dont think we will ever know the true answer but this will be an interesting thread to read for sure!
:love4:

If someone asked me this question 7 years ago, 3 weeks after my arrival in Thailand, I'd have said: Sure 'love' means love!

After 7 years I know better (at least I think I know). 2 Days ago, my ex, told me that he loves me.........Slightly puzzled I asked: "How, why?"
Of course no straight answer, but in a few words I made clear that the "love" wasn't mutual. Sure I know what he meant; he loves me like a father.......but since I am gay, I skipped out the fact of having children of my own, and I'm not up for this kind of crap.

Now, If just some running-in-the-wild barboy tells me that he loves me, I laugh out loud and give him the choice:
- I give you THB 1000 here and now OR
- we go to my room and make love....for free.
In the answer is the real meaning of the Thai love!!

[netrix]

wow.

i can't resist....
the op asked if thai's fall in love, not if moneyboys from the village with stingy
character-flawed parents fall in love with old farang.

thais in general are extremely romantic. the whole culture is romantic. and i'd
say they fall in love deeply and often haha. i'm not referring to the "i lub u so mush"
guys, i mean true romantic love.

but i've dated mostly middle-class, college educated city boys with good jobs
in thailand. (yes there are lots) i've spent plenty of time with barboys and have
had plenty of them "fall in love" and maybe some of them are sincere, but if there's
money involved it's not the same. plus i think being only about 10 years older than
most of the guys i've dated in thailand makes a difference.

the op asked if thai's fall in love, not if moneyboys from the village with stingy
character-flawed parents fall in love with old farang.

Yes - thanks for getting us back on topic! Those other topics are interesting too, but right now I'm interested to find out whether the Thais(of any gender/orientation) are really susceptible to the 'Romeo and Juliet' experience (with anyone - thai or falang).

[Patexpat]

I showed my bf the original post, and with a little explanation of the English to him, he looked at me and said 'why ting tong falang?' And as he has told me many times 'you not rich, you not handsome - why you THINK I stay with you - I tell you many times'

This is someone who has a full time job (as indeed do I), cleans the house, does the laundry and cuts the grass etc etc ...

Works for me.

The English language sometimes suffers from a paucity of words when translating from other sources. Typical is the word love, whch has been used to translate the very diffferent greek words ag├бp─У, ├йr┼Нs, phil├нa and even storg─У. I do not know how these translate in Thai, maybe some one can help, but I suspect that the concept of agape, as expressed in the Christian idea of "Greater love hath no man......" etc might well be a concept foreign to Buddhists.

The English language sometimes suffers from a paucity of words when translating from other sources. Typical is the word love, whch has been used to translate the very diffferent greek words ag├бp─У, ├йr┼Нs, phil├нa and even storg─У. I do not know how these translate in Thai, maybe some one can help, but I suspect that the concept of agape, as expressed in the Christian idea of "Greater love hath no man......" etc might well be a concept foreign to Buddhists.

I agree, there's a lot of confusion when talking about 'Love' - here's a link to the description of the various Greek definitions,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love

But an even better vocabulary to aid discussion, I think, is the Triangular theory of love,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangular_theory_of_love

According to this theory there are 3 components of love:
1. Intimacy тАУ self-disclosure through sharing emotions and stories with partner; closeness; etc.
2. Passion тАУ erotic interest and sexual consummation.
3. Decision / Commitment тАУ decision to stay with your partner and defer this type of relationship with other potential partners.
(These form a triangle)

When all 3 are present in a relationship and balance than we have the most complete form of love тАЬConsummate LoveтАЭ тАУ it involves a close friendship, physical urges and a strong commitment. However, this does not often happen, most people tend to emphasize 1 or 2 of the components, which results in the following types of love:
1. Infatuated Love: high passion, low intimacy & low commitment (e.g. love at first sight).
2. Empty Love: high commitment, low intimacy & low passion (e.g. residual love).
3. Romantic Love: high intimacy, high passion & low commitment (e.g. liking & physical desire).
4. Companionate Love: high intimacy, high commitment & low passion (e.g. later stages).
5. Fatuous Love: high passion, high commitment & low intimacy (e.g. stalker).
6. Liking: high intimacy present, low passion & low commitment (e.g. friendship).
7. Nonlove: all 3 components are absent.

[cdnmatt]

I'd go as far as saying Thais are far more romantic than most Westerners. Remember, unless you're a Chinese Thai, for the most part you're raised to follow your heart, not your mind. You're raised to make judgements based on how it makes you feel, and not based on logic and rationality like us in the West.

Just goto any karaoke bar, and watch the music videos. 90% of the songs you see will be about falling in love, or getting your heart broken. The other 10% are generally about getting drunk and partying.

Thais are also insanely jealous, and can completely flip out even with just the suspicion that they're loved one is cheating on them. For example, about 6 weeks ago one of Kim's friends' dads committed attempted murder on his wife. There was no actual proof she was cheating on him, but he just assumed, and that was enough to take the knife out, stab her a couple times, then slice her head open. Afterwards, he hung himself. She lived, but spent about 6 weeks in the hospital. That type of scenario isn't exactly uncommon in Thailand.

Or just how many people have been over to my place, bitching, crying and moaning about how broken hearted they are. Yep, Thais fall deeply in love.

The Thai's also have a greater love for weepy T.V. Soap Operas compaired to most other countries in the west. They adore love stories.

[cdnmatt]

The Thai's also have a greater love for weepy T.V. Soap Operas compaired to most other countries in the west. They adore love stories.

Fucken La-Khorn (or however it's pronounced). That shit's on my TV all the time. I've been told it's a great way to learn Thai, but ummm, no... I'll stick with movies like Avatar in Thai, which have both, Thai and English subtitles.

I'd go as far as saying Thais are far more romantic than most Westerners. Remember, unless you're a Chinese Thai, for the most part you're raised to follow your heart, not your mind. You're raised to make judgements based on how it makes you feel, and not based on logic and rationality like us in the West.

That's an interesting perspective on how Thais make decisions. Given that though, you might expect Thais to be even less 'practical' about choosing partners than Westeners. However, it is often said that Thais are more practical in this regard. So I'm trying to square this circle. Is it that Thais are more romantic, but have an even stronger cultural influence of 'taking care of family' that outweighs even romantic love?

I have heard many farang come to Thailand and talked about this badly! Some say that Thai boys never fall in love, some say all Thai boys are expecting to get money from them not thier love. As I'm Thai and i have been living and working with farang quite long time, i know that farang are more romantic and more open to show how they feel! So i would like to share my ideas like this!
1. As you know (some not) Thai people are not enough self-confident to say something direct and especially to say "I love you honey" or blah blah blah, believe most of us DO LOVE AND ROMANTIC but we don't show, and for like this it's complicated for farang to understand.But now people are more open and show more how they feel.

Thanks for sharing Pinot. I wasn't expecting to hear from a real live Thai person, let alone such a detailed response. It sounds like there is a consensus - that Thais certainly do fall in love. With a caveat of 'maybe not so much with old, fat, bald falang!' One thing I hope you could clarify though - how would a Thai describe the experience of falling in love? I'm curious to know if we're talking about exactly the same experience or if there are subtle differences.


2' Almost 70-80 percent of gay farang i have seen are looking for real love from those boys from the bar!! C'mon try to understand, they need money of not they will never work there! So please notice that if you get the boy from the bar and ask them whether they love you or not, what's your expect to hear? Perhaps 10 percents of boys from the bar have true love and really fall in love with someone he met, but don't forget that if you are 50 years old and trying to say you love 20 years old boy from the bar, he will say he loves you too but you know it whether it exactly from the bottom of his heart or just try to please you! So don't assume that Thai boys never fall in love as long as you still keep looking boys from the bars!


Yes, this seems to be what some Falang are looking for - I wonder if we wouldn't be better off approaching a thai relationship with a more practical outlook too. Finding a nice boy to share 'companionative love' with rather than shooting for 'consummate love'


3. I would like to sugguest those people who think negative about Thai boys never fall in love that they need to get out of those idea to look for true love from bar boys! try to find well educated boys! But again they will say that Thai boys are not well educated, that's absolutely wrong!!!!! they don't even know this country!

well,I just wanted to show my ideas of this nice topic "Do Thais Fall In Love?" and hope to hear some more ideas from users here!

Thank you

Well, I'm a beginner so I'm still trying to work it all out. I'm taking your advice though and looking outside the bar-boy scene now. I've met some really sweet bar boys, but in general I'm finding that they are cautious about Falang. Probably with good reason, but overcoming the cultural gap is hard enough without having to overcome a boy's preconceptions that are based on some of the vilest characters Falangland has to offer.

[cdnmatt]

That's an interesting perspective on how Thais make decisions. Given that though, you might expect Thais to be even less 'practical' about choosing partners than Westeners. However, it is often said that Thais are more practical in this regard. So I'm trying to square this circle. Is it that Thais are more romantic, but have an even stronger cultural influence of 'taking care of family' that outweighs even romantic love?

No, generally just greedy and uneducated with no future prospects. You know, they don't want to spend their lives working for that whopping 8000/month, and if they work really hard and get their own little shop, jump up to 15,000/month. What kind of life is that? All the while, Kim has a nice comfortable house, we spend probably 70,000 - 80,000 baht/month, etc. I don't think he's leaving me anytime soon.

And yeah, living a life like this, I'm absolutely sure makes him feel good. Much better than being a poor farmer or prostitute, that's for sure.

[netrix]

C'mon try to understand, they need money of not they will never work there! So please notice that if you get the boy from the bar and ask them whether they love you or not, what's your expect to hear? Perhaps 10 percents of boys from the bar have true love and really fall in love with someone he met, but don't forget that if you are 50 years old and trying to say you love 20 years old boy from the bar, he will say he loves you too but you know it whether it exactly from the bottom of his heart or just try to please you! So don't assume that Thai boys never fall in love as long as you still keep looking boys from the bars!
3. I would like to sugguest those people who think negative about Thai boys never fall in love that they need to get out of those idea to look for true love from bar boys! try to find well educated boys! But again they will say that Thai boys are not well educated, that's absolutely wrong!!!!! they don't even know this country!


thanks pintoh, exactly the point i was making.

do americans fall in love? did Anna Nicole Smith love J. Howard Marshall?
does Melanija Knavs love Donald Trump? maybe. but there are 2 points to
be remembered...
1. just because you're a gold digger doesn't mean you're incapable of falling in love.
2. you can't judge an entire nation or culture based on a tiny fraction - the most greedy and opportunistic.

[Beachlover]

Great topic!


Do Thais Fall In Love?
I think love is an emotion shared by all humans and not affected by culture, at least when it comes to Thais.

Thais fall in love. However, the way they express, articulate and deal with this emotion can be different...

This is only from a small sample of boys I've gotten to know, but in my experience, I've observed the working class Thais are more subtle and indirect in how they express these things. But middle-class boys don't have such an issue talking about and articulating concepts like love and such more directly.


When I ask a Thai boy if he loves me (in a romantic way), is it a meaningless question? The same as if he asked me if I have 'lost face'? A near-meaningless concept in my culture..
I think Pintoh has it right when he says they don't have the self-confidence to say these things...

In my experience with my own family (Asians, poor uneducated background) and others, Asians in general, can be very indirect and subtle when it comes to expressing deeper or "sensitive" things like love, feelings and such. They're too shy to talk about these things directly. But they'll comment about someone being fat or dark skinned without batting an eye lid. Empathy any? LOL.


as he has told me many times 'you not rich, you not handsome - why you THINK I stay with you - I tell you many times'
Case in point... They can be too shy to say things like this directly.


I would like to sugguest those people who think negative about Thai boys never fall in love that they need to get out of those idea to look for true love from bar boys! try to find well educated boys! But again they will say that Thai boys are not well educated, that's absolutely wrong!!!!! they don't even know this country!
Nail on the head! I agree.

I think too many farang are living in this oblivious bubble of bar boys and moneyboys in Thailand or when they visit Thailand. Before you form an opinion of ALL Thais, get out and meet some more ordinary Thais who don't work in the prostitution industry or even some more middle/upper class boys. You'll find the middleclass boys totally different.

Think of it (spending all your time around bar boys, money boys and poorer working class) like spending all your time in your home country (Western) with the lowest of the lowest working class there, chavs, bogans, white trailer trash etc. (don't mean to make it sound so harsh) You would find many of their ways weird and none too bright as well wouldn't you?

[Beachlover]

I'm a beginner so I'm still trying to work it all out. I'm taking your advice though and looking outside the bar-boy scene now. I've met some really sweet bar boys, but in general I'm finding that they are cautious about Falang. Probably with good reason, but overcoming the cultural gap is hard enough without having to overcome a boy's preconceptions that are based on some of the vilest characters Falangland has to offer.
BM, I think you mentioned somewhere you're only in your thirties. If that's the case and you're ok or good looking I'd say if you visit Thailand regularly, definitely look outside the bar boy and moneyboy scene. I think you'll find it more rewarding.

The thing to remember is any boy you meet in a gogo/host bar or as a moneyboy is doing it primarily for the money. That's their primary drive. With that kind of background, the odds against building a strong and entirely genuine relationship (though not impossible).

One thing I've noticed (don't know if it's coincidence or valid relationship) is when I have a relationship or fling with a Thai boy, the more well off he is, the more closely and genuinely we seem to connect and the keener he is to go somewhere with it.


First, I think that for the most part you are incorrect that MOTHERS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN the same as in the Western world. I truly believe that while some parents love their children here, that having children for most is solely to bring money into the family now and during the parents elder life. A money making machine and no more... definately not like the West.
I think that's more a factor of poverty and lack of means than how much they naturally love their kids.

I think we take being able to provide for our kids and ourselves for granted in the West. In many of the dirt-poor areas of Asia people live hand to mouth and it's a constant struggle. In such circumstances, it's easy to get overwhelmed and push for immediate personal gains instead of doing what's in your kids' best long-term interests. For example, when my Dad was 12, his Dad wanted him to work instead of finishing school, so my Dad told him to stick it and ran off to live on the streets (and finished school). Similarly, if my parents ever forced something my against my own interests and without compromise, I'd tell them to stick it too, as I have before (they compromised instead).


I believe that we are money machines for the most part.
I think that's the case when it comes to prostitutes and moneyboys. Sometimes the case with poorer working class boys too. But otherwise, it's far from true.


I do believe that over a period of a faw years, that this can form INTO a type of love.
I agree... but it can be a different kind of love. Like the kind you have for a close friend or someone older/wise who helps you.


I think that Thailand is a wonderful place in that we can truly believe what we want to believe and that their are boys and girls here that allow us to live out our fantasies or dreams. Allow us to be happy in our senior years as long as we keep some rules and restraints on the situation or we will swiftly become depressed and broke...
I agree it's great lots of farang can be happy in their old age. The trap is to walk into this fantasy oblivious without self-awareness, empathy and perspective and lose all grip on reality... I think this is when depression and bitterness set in. Farangs who've lost a grip on reality and are living in a great bubble of obliviousness.

[Wesley]

Wesley please do enlighten all of us to my true identity. I shall be curious to know who I really am. Shout it to the world.

Oh my dear, Only you would bother to make it an Issue about board etiquette and grumble about every damn thing you read. Its an Alter ego of your real self whom you do not wish everyone to realize that you have become the bitter old man that you are. Did you forget that you, not so long ago yourself, told me who you are. Well not a short time ago, I guess,but, no so long ago I would forget it my love. I did a search on your posts, once I stopped posting regularly you continued to post and as far back as I felt like reading, you never had one good thing to say about anyone or anything. why try so hard to think you actually have such a dry sense of humor when you know as well as do I you use to not be that way at all. How sad as my eyes go, so does your hope, your cynicism begins to show old man. Why not let up on beachlover and post in Character. So, at least he would know who he is talking to.

Oh Wesley - you are a crap up. Posting from the bottom of a gin bottle again I fear.
I haven't got the slightest notion what you are babbling about but I suspect you don't either. Nothing new there.
Not surprising that you would come to Beachlover's defense since you both have this pathological need to over-share all the banalities of your lives and thoughts.

Oh Wesley - Not surprising that you would come to Beachlover's defense since you both have this pathological need to over-share all the banalities of your lives and thoughts.

At least they have thoughts and lives!

the more well off he is, the more closely and genuinely we seem to connect and the keener he is to go somewhere with it.

I should think so. If you're dating someone near your age and (relative) social class then it's a relationship between peers. If there is a large disparity then the relationship is something else. This isn't rocket science...

At least they have thoughts and lives!

Now now dear, we all know how you worship BL. I'm sure if you try a little harder your life can be as equally banal. Don't lose hope when you are so close.

[Beachlover]

Wesley please do enlighten all of us to my true identity. I shall be curious to know who I really am. Shout it to the world.
Its an Alter ego of your real self whom you do not wish everyone to realize that you have become the bitter old man that you are. Did you forget that you, not so long ago yourself, told me who you are. Well not a short time ago, I guess,but, no so long ago I would forget it my love. I did a search on your posts, once I stopped posting regularly you continued to post and as far back as I felt like reading, you never had one good thing to say about anyone or anything. why try so hard to think you actually have such a dry sense of humor when you know as well as do I you use to not be that way at all. How sad as my eyes go, so does your hope, your cynicism begins to show old man. Why not let up on beachlover and post in Character. So, at least he would know who he is talking to.
That sums it up OIAW pretty well... Bitching and moaning is about all he does here.

For a while, I've been wondering if he's just an alternate handle of another certain poster here... Smiles perhaps? Just a suspicion.

BL, many of the punters on here want a guy 40 years their junior. Asian guys often prefer older men but the practical limit imo is +/-10 years if you expect to have a relationship where you are (at least) intellectual/emotional peers.

The Thai are practical when it comes to finances...it is one of the variables that they consider in deciding how attractive you are as a package. I think that is a fundamental difference from dating in the United States--very few guys care about the education, money, etc of their partners...it's almost always about looks, foremost. That's what contributes to the ageism in the gay world here. In Thailand you can be educated (social class) or make good money and become 'better looking'.

While it is a popular western view that 'falling in love' or 'romantic love' is a natural part of the human condition, others say it is merely cultural conditioning. Some psychologists say it was invented 800 years ago, others that it exists but is a rare experience in older cultures, somewhat akin to temporary insanity!


This is an extraordinary question. Self indulgent outrageous racist and sad.

I must answer that yes they love like we all do (if that wasnt already plainly obvious) but just not you or any other frng. Why should they? They do a good enough job pretending is this not enough that you must question that they even belong to the human race with its universal needs and desires?

Talk about losing face you are as close to any Thai in doing just that. Hence your question I suppose.

"Poverty" is the word you are floundering for, another is "cash cow", and thirdly "desperation". You go figure how they interact?

Of course love has nothing to do with it and you know that, thats why you are asking this face saving crap. :laughing3:

Are they grateful you may well ask? I shouldnt think to many even are given what they are often subjected to.
Would you with an outsized cock burning and ripping your anus apart, feel any gratitude? At least anyone under 60. :bee:

This is an extraordinary question. Self indulgent outrageous racist and sad.

I must answer that yes they love like we all do (if that wasnt already plainly obvious) but just not you or any other frng. Why should they? They do a good enough job pretending is this not enough that you must question that they even belong to the human race with its universal needs and desires?

Talk about losing face you are as close to any Thai in doing just that. Hence your question I suppose.

"Poverty" is the word you are floundering for, another is "cash cow", and thirdly "desperation". You go figure how they interact?

Of course love has nothing to do with it and you know that, thats why you are asking this face saving crap. :laughing3:

Are they grateful you may well ask? I shouldnt think to many even are given what they are often subjected to.
Would you with an outsized cock burning and ripping your anus apart, feel any gratitude? At least anyone under 60. :bee:

Thanks for your response Cedric. I believe there are differences between cultures. As a beginner, I don't always know what those differences are so I ask for others opinions on those things rather than make assumptions which might be incorrect.

[Beachlover]

BL, many of the punters on here want a guy 40 years their junior. Asian guys often prefer older men but the practical limit imo is +/-10 years if you expect to have a relationship where you are (at least) intellectual/emotional peers.
Yeah, I agree, but there are exceptions. I believe there are some relationships where the difference is 20 years or so that work genuinely (that is, the boy isn't waiting for his old boyfriend to die so he can inherit). As a young Asian guy myself, I can't understand how you'd be attracted to someone who is Caucasian and 20 years older but that's just a case of accepting everyone's got different preferences.

For myself personally, the oldest I'd ever be attracted to would be a young-looking 35-38 year old Asian and I've only ever come across one of these (he was hot... like a model).


he Thai are practical when it comes to finances...it is one of the variables that they consider in deciding how attractive you are as a package. I think that is a fundamental difference from dating in the United States--very few guys care about the education, money, etc of their partners...it's almost always about looks, foremost. That's what contributes to the ageism in the gay world here. In Thailand you can be educated (social class) or make good money and become 'better looking'.
That's true to an extent. But more so for poorer Thais and less so for the more middle or upper class Thais.


This is an extraordinary question. Self indulgent outrageous racist and sad.
I think that's a bit of an overreaction. It was a pretty rational and valid question.


just not you or any other frng. Why should they? They do a good enough job pretending is this not enough that you must question that they even belong to the human race with its universal needs and desires?

"Poverty" is the word you are floundering for, another is "cash cow", and thirdly "desperation". You go figure how they interact?
This issue with this answer is you're assuming that when "Thais" are mentioned it ONLY refers to working boys. Not all Thai boys are working boys and not all expats and visitors to Thailand go after working boys. And not all are "60" for that matter either.


Are they grateful you may well ask? I shouldnt think to many even are given what they are often subjected to.
Would you with an outsized cock burning and ripping your anus apart, feel any gratitude? At least anyone under 60. :bee:
Again... this only refers to working boys.

In terms of the part of BM's question where he asks what "love" means to a boy when he asks him... I think you need to take into account if the boy has a lot of contact with butterfly farang (if so, the term "love" may be loosely used). And if a boy says he loves you, then if he's a working boy, you need to factor in the monetary benefits of this relationship to the boy when determining if he is being geniune.

On another note... I was with a in Bangkok recently and he confessed he'd never done "anal" with anyone before. He said it was because he (paraphrasing him) has this concept that you should truly love someone to do that with them (i.e. it's not a cheap thing to give away). So obviously the term "love" wasn't a meaningless term to him. He's a middle-class student. Fairly wealthy parents, so he's probably culturally different from the more poorer Thais.

In terms of the part of BM's question where he asks what "love" means to a boy when he asks him... I think you need to take into account if the boy has a lot of contact with butterfly farang (if so, the term "love" may be loosely used). And if a boy says he loves you, then if he's a working boy, you need to factor in the monetary benefits of this relationship to the boy when determining if he is being geniune.

On another note... I was with a in Bangkok recently and he confessed he'd never done "anal" with anyone before. He said it was because he (paraphrasing him) has this concept that you should truly love someone to do that with them (i.e. it's not a cheap thing to give away). So obviously the term "love" wasn't a meaningless term to him. He's a middle-class student. Fairly wealthy parents, so he's probably culturally different from the more poorer Thais.


So because he fucked you this was his way of saying I love you? If that is so since I've been in BKK I must have told 1 Chinese guy and 6 Thais I loved them without even knowing it!

A good sales person tells the customer what he thinks the customer wants to hear.

A good sales person tells the customer what he thinks the customer wants to hear.

Good point! Mine were freebees, not wanting to sound callous they were all special!

So because he fucked you this was his way of saying I love you? If that is so since I've been in BKK I must have told 1 Chinese guy and 6 Thais I loved them without even knowing it!

lol. It's safe to say that the word has varying significance to different people. same same in the USA.

[dab69]

more whiney unanswerable questions.
"professional" psychologists do a bad enough job of it.

perfect question for trolling.
lets see who responded- BIG SURPRIZE!!

more whiney unanswerable questions.
"professional" psychologists do a bad enough job of it.

perfect question for trolling.
lets see who responded- BIG SURPRIZE!!


You did!

Thanks for your response Cedric. I believe there are differences between cultures. As a beginner, I don't always know what those differences are so I ask for others opinions on those things rather than make assumptions which might be incorrect.

No there are not. Does that answer your stupid racist question?

If anything Thais "love" more than any other nation. You enforce your standards on others in pure disbelief cause you never had love other than the paid kind. You know like hell no white youth, big cock and bubble but, is ever going to be interested in you unless you had a bank balance in the seven digits. After all thats why you are here isnit? Cheap is the word.

Hang on you are saying do young Thais "love" old white men, if not do they love at all? What excrement of the most foul smelling nature has ever passed my delicate nostril than this.

You want true love, with genuine Thai gay or a lady boy? Yes then you might get very lucky in the love department, but even this is not guaranteed. For the rest you are just an overweight cash cow who has to be milked once in awhile to keep the cash flowing.

That they even pretend so charminly is a wonder given the shit heads they have to deal with. Just shut up and play the game thats all they ask out of you, you chunk of obsenity.

Do you relly think your anus is attractive? :snorting:

In reality the question of Thais and love is absurd! Do bears shit in the woods?

I think that's a bit of an overreaction. It was a pretty rational and valid question.


Like bloody hell it is you old Fing tart, you'v been on these boards long enough to be considered just that an old fing tart.

The question do we as man kind love at all might have been more interesting and appropriate.

Cabbage Friday, you are an old arsehole. :blackeye:

As such I respect you, might be my genes not sure I know most other Westerns dont respect the elderly!

So I ask you in all your temporary insanities, did you ever love daddy did you?

[Beachlover]

So because he fucked you this was his way of saying I love you? If that is so since I've been in BKK I must have told 1 Chinese guy and 6 Thais I loved them without even knowing it!
Nope. We didn't f*ck at all. In fact, he said it was the first time he'd been with a foreigner and he's traveled abroad a lot so I thought that was sweet.


more whiney unanswerable questions.
"professional" psychologists do a bad enough job of it.

perfect question for trolling.
lets see who responded- BIG SURPRIZE!!
Yours is the biggest whining response of all.

I think you'd be more comfortable with the other bubble-dwelling Pattaya sexpats on GaybuttonThai.com.


just that an old fing tart. ...Cabbage Friday, you are an old arsehole. :blackeye:

As such I respect you, might be my genes not sure I know most other Westerns dont respect the elderly!

So I ask you in all your temporary insanities, did you ever love daddy did you?
No idea WTF you're trying to say. You should post when sober. And if you were sober, get yourself committed.

just that an old fing tart. ...Cabbage Friday, you are an old arsehole. :blackeye:

As such I respect you, might be my genes not sure I know most other Westerns dont respect the elderly!

So I ask you in all your temporary insanities, did you ever love daddy did you?


No idea WTF you're trying to say. You should post when sober. And if you were sober, get yourself committed.

Beach flotsam, is it the word cabbage that throws you, yea thats me I tend to throw out absurdities in the face of absurdities, does it make a point?
Not to the literal, but then why would they try and enter a debate at all.

Go wind your self, see who comes to try mouth to mouth? Might answere your response to thai love. even if its a ferral doggie.

[Beachlover]

Can't make sense of WTF you're saying... can anyone else?

Can't make sense of WTF you're saying... can anyone else?

Nope

Talk about trying to save face, in my opinion its pretty much universal amongst men.