PDA

View Full Version : My first Issan experience...



cdnmatt
March 4th, 2010, 15:05
Sitting here, enjoying a beer in the late afternoon, and don't feel like working, so thought I'd write a post instead.

Well, after all the bullshit Pattaya offers, we finally made it to Khon Kaen. Kim ended up coming back to Pattaya for a few days, while I finished up some work. Unfortunately, very uneventful days, because we sequestered ourselves into the room, due to the chance of seeing his ex-roommate on the streets, which wasn't allowed to happen. Anyway, we arrived in the early hours of the morning, and grabbed ourselves a hotel that Kim knew. Was just a cheap, little 300 baht/night thing, so a couple days later off we went to a new room.

So far though, I'm honestly pleasantly surprised with Khon Kaen, and definitely enjoying it here so far. There's basically nothing here in the way of a gay scene, but it's a great little city. Nicely laid out, easy to find your way around, great markets, laid back slow-paced life, people seem really friendly, they don't stare at you because you have white skin, and so on. Honestly, it's a really, really nice change from Pattaya. As long as Kim and myself stay together, I can't see why I wouldn't live here for several years. I'll give it a couple more weeks though, before I sign a 6 or 12 month lease on a house. That, and I wouldn't mind a quick 1 week vacation to Chiang Mai, and see how Kim takes to it.

At first, I was feeling pretty bad for Kim though. He was really excited to show me around Khon Kaen, and take care of me, because I would be the helpless farang, etc. It unfortunately turned out to be the total opposite though, and just the way it happened. He didn't actually know the city at all, except for the markets, temples, songtaews somewhat, and that's about it. Didn't know about rooms, places to eat or have a couple beer, the layout of the city, etc. He's never had money to worry about any of that. I ended up finding my own way around, found us a nice place to stay, etc. You could tell he was pretty sad about it, but what can I do?

The village boy in him showed through quite a bit, and he became quite intimated about taking care of himself in a city. He didn't even like going out alone at night to grab something to eat, and I would always end up going with him. We would be talking one night that the next day, he'd look for a new room for us while I worked, but when it came down to it, he got intimidated and wouldn't look by himself. I'm from a small town myself, and I remember being fairly intimidated when I first moved to a city too, so I'm sure he'll settle down in time. I'm sorry, but there's no chance I'm living in a 160 house moo-ban, so if we're staying together, he's going to have to figure out how to live in a city. I gave up Canada and moved to Issan for us, that's enough. I want my city. Mama is a 20 baht, one hour songtaew ride away, so he's fine.

Kim has himself a job selling clothes and stuff, and he works maybe 20 hours a week, which is good. Then I managed to convince him going to school is a good thing. Not full-time or anything, but just some part-time course that's 6 - 10 hours a week, or whatever. I managed to convince him that pushing your mind, especially while you're young, is a good thing. So hopefully sometime soon he'll figure out what he wants to learn, and we'll get him enrolled for the next semester for some trade, or English language program, or whatever he decides. I could care less, but he has a strong mind, and I would like to see him use it.

Other than that, not much to update on. I mean, it's Khon Kaen. It's not exactly a vibrant city that holds a new adventure for you every day, or anything. The great part though is, we're now settling down, and having an actual, normal relationship. No more doubting each other about inane bullshit, like whether or not I'm cheating on him, or whether or not he's just a money boy, etc. Now it's real, and it was really sweet, because we both knew that immediately after getting settled into the bus leaving Pattaya. :-) Pattaya is a really weird city, where you never know what's real, and what's not. Those aspects of life are gone now, and thank goodness for that.

Beachlover
March 4th, 2010, 16:03
Hey... Thanks for sharing that Matt. Really happy for you to hear things are turning out well.

So is this the first time you've been to Khon Kaen? Wow... you decided to move there before you saw the place for real.

That's really great Kim has a job selling clothes and might take up some study. I was worried he would sit around doing nothing. It must be kind of surreal for him. After years of having no stability or certainty... he's suddenly found himself in a situation where he doesn't have to worry about the survival stuff... money.. food.. shelter etc.

I really respect you found Kim and just took the plunge without any hang ups or worrying about the crap that really doesn't matter like what your family thinks and stuff. Sounds like the bus from Pattaya was a real milestone... hope you have many happy years together.

If you get bored of KK, Chiang Mai might be a nice alternative, I hear. And not too too far from his Mama.

Brad the Impala
March 4th, 2010, 20:44
Thanks for the update, and happy to know how it is working out, mostly positively.

The change in status and the change in useful skills for the new situation, can easily put stress on a relationship. When my bf(from the south) and I first went to Bangkok, he found it awkward that I knew it so much better than him, and it was his capital city! But then I had been going for many years and it was his first trip there. Now he tells the story of me showing him around as a light joke against himself.

This is a great learning experience for Kim, he will get used to the new challenges like looking for somewhere to stay, as he sees how you did it, and as he gains confidence in himself, and you.