The Go Go Boy who turned down money...

[Chuai-Duai]

I've been visiting Pattaya for many years and enjoy "offing" Go Go Boys, usually to a Short Time Hotel sometimes to my own hotel.

I've remained on good terms with many ex Go Go Boys and have never had bad experience as some seem to. I'm careful to talk to the boy in the bar before I "off" him and the fact that I speak basic Thai helps. I like to take photos and always check with the boy in the bar first if that will be OK.

So I'm experienced and well aware of most of the scams but a few days ago I was taken by surprise by an unusual piece of behaviour.

I "offed" a very shy and very cute boy in a "Boys Town" bar and we went to a short time room. I'll call him "A". I paid him afterwards for what had been a really excellent time and he seemed pleased and happy as well. I said I would "off" him again the next night and would email him the photos which he posed for beautifully.

The same happened the next night except that after we'd finished I took "A" to "Copa" as he'd not seen the show. I know one of the dancers from years ago when he was a Go Go Boy and he joined us after the show and sat with us for a drink.

When I came to leave I gave my friend some money, for old time's sake, and then offered the same to "A" for the extra time I'd spent with him compared with the previous evening. He refused, instantly, which I could see staggered my old friend.

Everything I'd learned about "A" suggested that he was a very genuine and totally honest young man but the cynic in me couldn't help trying to work out what was coming next. Some new scam perhaps?

I "offed" him three more times and he never pressed me for more money. I can't get the thought of him turning down money out of my head. After all it's how he earns his living and I don't think I overpaid him and certainly wouldn't have begrudged him more.

I can't see that I breached any subtle piece of Thai etiquette so I wonder why he was so adamant that he didn't want anymore money.

[Beachlover]

Maybe he likes you.

[Brad the Impala]

Perhaps he thought that he could pass for something more than a one night off in Copa(as it turned out he was a five night off). By paying him in front of others you diminished his status, which he restored by refusing your money. Your dancer friend could accept the money, as it was apparent that it was a present rather than a payment.

Perhaps he thought that he could pass for something more than a one night off in Copa(as it turned out he was a five night off). By paying him in front of others you diminished his status, which he restored by refusing your money. Your dancer friend could accept the money, as it was apparent that it was a present rather than a payment.

Sounds plausible, but doesn't explain why the boy continued to refuse payment for the three subsequent "offs" when dancer boy (and I think I know exactly who THAT is) patently wasn't around.

I'm certain it wasn't because he was overpaid on the first night - such an overpayment would more likely lead to an expectation of the same overpayment every time!

It would be great to think that the boy took a shine to the OP, but that doesn't normally extend to refusing to be paid!

An intriguing tale.

:happy7: :happy7: :happy7:

Perhaps he thought that he could pass for something more than a one night off in Copa(as it turned out he was a five night off). By paying him in front of others you diminished his status, which he restored by refusing your money. Your dancer friend could accept the money, as it was apparent that it was a present rather than a payment.

Sounds about right Brad, taking money in front of others could well have caused a complete loss of face for the guy especially if he was new to the game.

[Brad the Impala]

Sounds plausible, but doesn't explain why the boy continued to refuse payment for the three subsequent "offs" when dancer boy (and I think I know exactly who THAT is) patently wasn't around.


I understood, perhaps incorrectly, that on the three subsequent offs standard payments were made, but that the anticipated scam did not arrive. Therefore the issue of money refusal was limited to the one occasion?

[cdnmatt]

Perhaps he's just a devout Buddhist who believes in karma. :dontknow:

[urban cowboy-old]

If I understand correctly he had already been paid for the normal service and was so new in town (and so nice) so he appreciated to be taken out to Copa as a guest of yours and not only be taken to a room....

[quote="Brad the Impala"

I understood, perhaps incorrectly, that on the three subsequent offs standard payments were made, but that the anticipated scam did not arrive. Therefore the issue of money refusal was limited to the one occasion?[/quote]


Possibly.

It's ambiguous .

:happy7: :happy7:

Perhaps he thought that he could pass for something more than a one night off in Copa(as it turned out he was a five night off). By paying him in front of others you diminished his status, which he restored by refusing your money. Your dancer friend could accept the money, as it was apparent that it was a present rather than a payment.

I'm not a fellow who 'offs' many guys or girls, but I have been around Thailand since '98 and have many Thai friends (from all walks of life) and I really think that Brad is correct. You know, since this guy had been 'offed' on several occasions, he probably felt that he was attending the show more as a friend and whatever drinks were bought, etc, was payment enough and a complete aside from your previous business arrangements. It's hard to say for sure...

More likely that he's showing of in a way. I suspect he has a couple or more regular farangs sending him money and he's not short of a few baht.

[Diec]

The kid was shred. If the amount was 500 baht or less, he took the gamble, double or nothing. If he gambles, he thinks he will surely will be rewarded for this kind gesture of ahh shucks I can't, you've already been too kind, maybe I'll still get it in the end since this should garner your respect for me even more. On the other hand, if the amount is not that great, he's really not lost much but perhaps on your next visit if you see him, you will remember this kind gesture, off him again, and tip even more. It's the same thing when they show up with some small trinket or fruit that you like which cost him about 10 baht. Again, he's hoping this sweet sentiment will melt your heart and you will be extra generous, if not, what's he out?

[Chuai-Duai]

Apologies for the ambiguity, he just turned down the extra in "Copa" not the subsequent "off" fees.

I am cynical by nature but if it was a ploy, as Diec suggests, with a view to future earnings, then he made no effort at all to capitalise on it.

I doubt very much that he's got any farang sending him money and he certainly made no effort to get anything more from me.

As far as I could judge he's just a really nice guy...

[cdnmatt]

As far as I could judge he's just a really nice guy...

Yep, they do exist. Even in Pattaya, and especially if they're new to the scene. They might be hard to find, but they are out there.

For example, my guy has proven to me time and time again that he doesn't really care about money too much, which honestly, is still pretty tough for me to get my head wrapped around. He just simply doesn't view the world in the capitalistic way that we from the West have been brought up. Sure, he wants some cash so he can buy a 200 baht shirt every once in a while, or give mama some, but other than that, money is a moot point for him. He doesn't view it as a very important aspect of life, whereas with us Westerners, it's the end-all and be-all of life.

[Beachlover]

He sounds like a really sweet guy. Take care of him...

[cdnmatt]

He sounds like a really sweet guy. Take care of him...

Always. :-) I'm pretty sure it's just the Buddhism (and his mama) doing its thing though. He's at the temple every second day probably. Those damn monks are brainwashing him to stay in opposition of becoming a part of the greedy, selfish, capitalistic world us Westerns have created. The bastards! :-)

Gotta love it!

[Beachlover]

He's probably thanking Buddha for such an amazing fate.

Those damn monks are brainwashing him to stay in opposition of becoming a part of the greedy, selfish, capitalistic world us Westerns have created. The bastards! :-)

Gotta love it!

Are you saying the Thai's are not greedy, selfish and capitalistic? Considering that the wealth of Thailand is held by around 12% of the population who continue to hold many of the remainder in poverty, hence the availability of lots of guys and gals willing to work in the go-go bars. I would say there is as much in Thailand as anywhere else in the world.

[cdnmatt]

Are you saying the Thai's are not greedy, selfish and capitalistic?

Well, of course there is. I know finding someone like that is about as common as finding a raw vegan in Canada.

[Dodger]

Brad the Impala Wrote:


By paying him in front of others you diminished his status, which he restored by refusing your money. Your dancer friend could accept the money, as it was apparent that it was a present rather than a payment.

Spot on Brad.

I think it's pretty evident that desperate poverty drives them to want money, but at heart it's just survival. If Thais only cared about money they would be a very, very different culture.

I had a funny Gay Romeo exchange with a babe I really thought was cute. He was adamant that he was quite shy and that 'I am NOT a moneyboy!' Of course I thought...'BOYFRIEND MATERIAL!'. After a few back and forths we seemed ready to arrange a get together and then up popped 'I REALLY need a new laptop' to which I calculated and responded 'that's ENTIRELY possible!'. His response was that he also needed money for his master's degree. I thought to myself 'at least he's not a moneyboy!!' lol

I really think he wasn't looking for money as much as someone to care enough about him to make sure he made himself a better person. At least, that's how I took it.

I had a funny Gay Romeo exchange with a babe I really thought was cute. He was adamant that he was quite shy and that 'I am NOT a moneyboy!' Of course I thought...'BOYFRIEND MATERIAL!'. After a few back and forths we seemed ready to arrange a get together and then up popped 'I REALLY need a new laptop' to which I calculated and responded 'that's ENTIRELY possible!'. His response was that he also needed money for his master's degree. I thought to myself 'at least he's not a moneyboy!!' lol

I really think he wasn't looking for money as much as someone to care enough about him to make sure he made himself a better person. At least, that's how I took it.

I wouldn't of said he was shy, quite the opposite otherwise he wouldn't have started asking for support before you had even met, and a LAPTOP plus MASTERS DEGREE wow, he certainly gets full marks for going for gold! I wonder if he started out with a Mobile Phone and BSc degree?

[martin911]

As far as I could judge he's just a really nice guy...

Yep, they do exist. Even in Pattaya, and especially if they're new to the scene. They might be hard to find, but they are out there.

For example, my guy has proven to me time and time again that he doesn't really care about money too much, which honestly, is still pretty tough for me to get my head wrapped around. He just simply doesn't view the world in the capitalistic way that we from the West have been brought up. Sure, he wants some cash so he can buy a 200 baht shirt every once in a while, or give mama some, but other than that, money is a moot point for him. He doesn't view it as a very important aspect of life, whereas with us Westerners, it's the end-all and be-all of life.


Yes guys like this certainley do exsist if they are got too in time ,- i have met one 8 months ago,(not a go go boy )- but might have ended up as one !!and he lives w me,he never asks me for anything material ,just wants to be together-suits me,we have a lot of fun !!
just go with it and enjoy --worth far far more than the usual money exchanges that happen (which are fun also )
I wish ye both well--enjoy

[yedo111]

Of course they do exist , but I think he believe that you will take good care of him in the future since you're a nice farang with a good heart.

And probably his whole family are waiting for you now .
:evil4:

[cdnmatt]

Of course they do exist , but I think he believe that you will take good care of him in the future since you're a nice farang with a good heart.

Yes, but isn't that how basically every relationship in the entire world exists?

[cdnmatt]

Of course they do exist , but I think he believe that you will take good care of him in the future since you're a nice farang with a good heart.

Yes, but isn't that how basically every relationship in the entire world exists?

Brad the Impala Wrote:


By paying him in front of others you diminished his status, which he restored by refusing your money. Your dancer friend could accept the money, as it was apparent that it was a present rather than a payment.

Spot on Brad.

Ditto. He'd already been paid once, in private; paying him again, in public and probably a considerably lesser amount, would hardly have been appropriate. Its pretty simple stuff - the rest, about how long he has been at it, how much difference that makes, and so on, is irrelevant or pure imagination.

[Impulse]

I think he is just a nice guy.Dont read so much into it.Ive had a guy turn down money and I have not offed that many.

[Chuai-Duai]

My Thai friend and an ex Go Go Boy himself certainly didn't see it as "pretty simple stuff". He was baffled.

[Chuai-Duai]

Looking back over the posts I'm puzzled by this remark by "Scottish Guy"

"when dancer boy (and I think I know exactly who THAT is)"

How do you know? And who do you think he was?