Advice for Boys reading this board.

[jinks]

From Nov Spice Mag.....

1. At the end of the week, specifically Friday and Saturday, many locally employed walking ATM machines will come to your bar, choose carefully!
Some have money, but others do not!
If he is wearing a suit and tie, check that the tie is not a Pratunam special and check that he isnтАЩt wearing trainers.
If he is, forget him because he is most likely an English teacher and he will only give you peanuts, if he gives you anything at all.


Click for 2 - 10 (http://www.spice-magazine.com/a1144-bar-boys-ten-commandments)

[catawampuscat]

cute..
Any Thai boy that reads this forum is sharp enough to spot the easy touches and avoid the skinflints.

Some visiting farangs actually hand over all their baht to the boy and have him take care of expenses.
The rationale is to show how much the farang trusts him and often because some farangs are too thick
to figure out the Thai currency and mistake 1000 b. notes with 100 b. notes..

Some give the boys their PIN numbers to show how much they trust the boy and some do even dumber
things to prove their love is real.. There is one born every minute and they keep on coming to Thaland..

[krobbie]

My very first guy I met in Thailand may have written this primer for bar boys. But of course there is more ... the house in Isaan, mother gets sick often ... new house in Isaan also needs needs furnishing and washing machine and air con.

Yep, laughed all the way to the bank and all within a 9 month time frame. He had a schedule to keep. The next time I arrived in Thailand to meet him from him hairdressing college ... his phone was no longer working. What a complete drip I felt. Played like a harp. Live and learn.

Cheers
krobbie

[Brad the Impala]

I suppose that it's a vain hope that at least the regulars might sometimes be able to distinguish between "boys" and "barboys", and not always act and comment as if every guy in Thailand is a prostitute.

We each get what we deserve, which is applicable to both boys and punters. The belief by the punter that he is still an attractive and even desirable to a young lad who is probably under half his age. This folly is eagerly supported by the boy in his belief that he has at last scored at the ATM tombola. We only have to think back to when we were lads of their age and I do not think that many geriatrics appeared in our sexual fantasies - however well groomed. In my years of wandering the world the only certainty is that all males of all races, creeds or colour have the same drives. The need to get their rocks off and the desire for status. Thus we have a mutually compatible scenario where the punter provides the financial status and the boy majors in the rocks off department. Be happy, it's a lot of fun and occasionally very beautiful. I don't begrudge a single Baht.

We each get what we deserve, which is applicable to both boys and punters. The belief by the punter that he is still an attractive and even desirable to a young lad who is probably under half his age. This folly is eagerly supported by the boy in his belief that he has at last scored at the ATM tombola. We only have to think back to when we were lads of their age and I do not think that many geriatrics appeared in our sexual fantasies - however well groomed. In my years of wandering the world the only certainty is that all males of all races, creeds or colour have the same drives. The need to get their rocks off and the desire for status. Thus we have a mutually compatible scenario where the punter provides the financial status and the boy majors in the rocks off department. Be happy, it's a lot of fun and occasionally very beautiful. I don't begrudge a single Baht.

You really think that? I believe that throughout history age was very much considered a plus and that beauty in the process of aging held up MUCH longer than it does today. Though not the only reason, the huge 'thin and young is the ONLY thing' theme is a purely Madison avenue invention to sell stuff. Before television and print media, the driving forces were always money, wisdom and social status. In the Renaissance era, heavy big women were considered far more desirable than skinny ones- though today it's the opposite. The advertising thrust has always been targeted at young people because they have the most disposable income and are inclined to spend it on stuff, hence the overwhelming focus on youth we see today in commercialization.

Asia has a deep history of respect for elders, ancestor worship. Also, consider that Asians as a rule are remarkably disposed to appearing younger than they are as a race. It is in human genetic behavior to seek out differences that will propagate the species, so that might be part of why older white men seek young Asians and why the inverse may also be true (even between same sexes)

While I don't deny that Thai guys may be more attracted young beauty, I don't accept that they can't find older partners just as attractive. Attraction is complex, and no small part of EVERY culture's dynamic includes a calculus of looks, money and class...and not necessarily in that order.

[cdnmatt]

You really think that? I believe that throughout history age was very much considered a plus and that beauty in the process of aging held up MUCH longer than it does today. Though not the only reason, the huge 'thin and young is the ONLY thing' theme is a purely Madison avenue invention to sell stuff.

Either that, or basic human biology. One or the other. :dontknow:

Have you ever watched the Discovery Channel, and seen the old, fat, ugly lion get the cute lady? Of course not. It's always the strong, healthy, vibrant one.

jacklipton wrote:
You really think that? I believe that throughout history age was very much considered a plus and that beauty in the process of aging held up MUCH longer than it does today. Though not the only reason, the huge 'thin and young is the ONLY thing' theme is a purely Madison avenue invention to sell stuff.


Either that, or basic human biology. One or the other.

Have you ever watched the Discovery Channel, and seen the old, fat, ugly lion get the cute lady? Of course not. It's always the strong, healthy, vibrant one.

Agreed, but a counterpoint might be that that worked during more primitive times, but evolution of the human species has resulted in wisdom and money being just, and probably MORE, important than strength.

Those two things probably are both elements of our biology now, wouldn't you say? Otherwise you'd see supermodels marrying brawny garbage men all over the place.

Also, how many male lions 'get' the cute young male lions on Discovery Channel???? haha

[a447]

While I don't deny that Thai guys may be more attracted young beauty, I don't accept that they can't find older partners just as attractive.
Sounds like wishful thinking to me. No matter how you try to rationalise it, young cute guys are NOT attracted in any way to a fat, old balding men.

While I don't deny that Thai guys may be more attracted young beauty, I don't accept that they can't find older partners just as attractive.

Sounds like wishful thinking to me. No matter how you try to rationalise it, young cute guys are NOT attracted in any way to a fat, old balding men.


My 'wish' is not that younger Thai boys might find an old, fat, balding slob attractive sexually. My point was that age is not necessarily a disqualifying factor, probably not even remotely as disqualifying as European westerners probably think it is.

A key factor in determining attractiveness is surely how well one takes care of themselves...that's a whole another issue. After all, I'd never be attracted fat pimply faced Thai just because he's 19 years old, would I?

It would be interesting to hear from a poster who is perhaps slightly obese, and balding, but who was able to have non-commercial relationships with attractive, 18-25 yo Thai boys after he turned 55 yrs old.

I have had several boys tell me that they prefer to be with an older man like myslef (65+), but these are all boys whom I pay, quite well, to have sex with me. I've seen postings on this and other blogs from 60+ men who claim to have been able to attract young, good looking Thais to their beds without a single Baht leaving the farang's wallet. For most of us old farts, I think that will remain an unfulfilled fantasy.

[Patexpat]

Sounds like wishful thinking to me. No matter how you try to rationalise it, young cute guys are NOT attracted in any way to a fat, old balding men.

based on this theory, what am I doing wrong? I mean I'm over 50, rotund and receding and before meeting my current bf had several young Thai friends, mostly gym bunnies, who loved to have sex with me, and yes for not a baht. My 'Chinese buddha' shape was very much appreciated!

In fact one Thai guy who is still a good friend has two falangs who send him money every month ... the joke was that I was his 'gigg' ..

Suggest you leave your western values at home and look for friends outside of the bar scene. You might be surprised.

As mentioned elsewhere not all Thai boys and young men are commercial. My bf who works at a hotel as a waiter regales me with stories of tourists who offer him money for sex ... one guy kept upping the ante each night till it reached B5,000 for an hour!

I've seen postings on this and other blogs from 60+ men who claim to have been able to attract young, good looking Thais to their beds without a single Baht leaving the farang's wallet.

I certainly believe there are a few. People are attracted to a wide variety of things.

When I was in my 20's I dated guys 4-5 years younger...in my 30's I'm interested in 10 yrs younger. I really don't know who I'll be most interested in as I get older. I can't imagine it'll be the 18-25 group, though...I just don't have anything in common with people who haven't been to college, held a job, owned a home, etc. It seems to be a very unrealistic and materialistic age range.

It would be interesting to hear from a poster who is perhaps slightly obese, and balding, but who was able to have non-commercial relationships with attractive, 18-25 yo Thai boys after he turned 55 yrs old.

Prepare to get interested.
Elizabeth Taylor says. "Success is a great deoderant." The ability to raise a young man into and keep him in a lifestyle to which he would love to be accustomed would cover much of the negative impact that a fallen chest, a receding hairline and periodic command appearances at geriatric clinics might have on a young man. Absent any kind of sexual relationship, it is not that uncommon for a young man to love an older man. But for a younger man to love an older one romantically? I think it might be possible in the same way Diane Cannon loved Cary Grant, or Catherine Zeta Jones loves Michael Douglas? Of course these are glamorous people. I doubt anyone would label Woody Allen glamorous. He married Soon-Yi Previn when she was 27 and he was 61. That marriage has lasted twelve years - his longest. If it happens with women, can it happen with gay men? My time in Thailand has persuaded me that a gay Thai man can achieve anything a woman can (except childbirth - so far), especially a gay, desparate Thai man.
On the other hand, when I was 23 and practically destitute, I was approached by a celebrity in his late forties and good looking. I found the notion of having a romantic relationship with this man as exciting as phlegm. And I know I would never have dated a clone of me as I am now. Sure, the possibility of a younger man loving an older man is there, but the prevalence is low.

Another question might be, what is the likelihood of an older man being truly in love with a younger man? When the prostate is drained and the lights come on, is it truly love or vanity that is driving the relationship. I believe I have seen as many, if not more, romantic farang-Thai boy relationships broken up by the farang as by the Thai - I'm speaking about those rare relationships where the Thai boy was not a money boy when the relationship started. The expectations of such a relationship usually far exceed either parties ability to meet them.

[catawampuscat]

We are all fortunate to have discovered a fantasy world where our dreams come true and no matter
how old, bald, fat or ugly we are, we can have our choice of so many guys for a relative pittance.
It streches the fantasy to its outer limits to think the boys find men older than their grandfathers
to be attractive and their fantasy bedmate but hey, it is a fantasy world so go for it..

I know one morbidly obese farang in his golden years who insists young hot Asian men have offered
him plane tickets and money for his company and favours. He also relayed stories about rich young
Thais in BKK who 'keep' old farangs as playthings and perfer them to men decades younger.
Stories of hot young Asians picking up elderly farangs in places like Babylon abound and some say
the fatter the hotter and that you haven't lived until you get a 'gum' job but come on guys
reality is reality and let your mirror tell you the truth.
Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest fairy of them all? Hint, he doesn't have folds of hairy fat skin
covering his grey pubic hairs, at least not imho... :evil4:

Much of the above comment is born out a deep sense of falang insecurity over their relationships. It would be of interest to know how many of the posters have Thai boys older than themselves? I had a ''professional'' friend for 5 years and I loved him. I sent him money and visited 2 sometimes 3 times a year, but I could never quite overcome that sense of insecurity, distrust about his true conviction. He was extremely good in bed, wonderful company, we used to have a great time together. I am not sure why, but I think the reason we parted was the feeling in me, that grew stronger as the years past, that I never really knew him. Whether those feelings were a function of the my own disbelief in my unbelievable fortune in having such a relationship with a beautiful man at my stage in life I cannot be sure. Perhaps the fear in me that it had to end sometime became a self-fulfilling prophecy. Can doubt co-exist with acceptance?

Can doubt co-exist with acceptance?

I think it's more a matter of expectations versus reality. Even farang that live in Thailand run into a lot of challenges with cross-cultural relationships. I haven't managed to make a relationship back home last more than 4 years. I guess I would go into such a situation with much lower expectations, based upon my past experiences.

Re: Advice for Boys reading this board.
Author: catawampuscat ┬╗ Wed 25 Nov, 2009 11:38 am

We are all fortunate to have discovered a fantasy world where our dreams come true and no matter
how old, bald, fat or ugly we are, we can have our choice of so many guys for a relative pittance.
It streches the fantasy to its outer limits to think the boys find men older than their grandfathers
to be attractive and their fantasy bedmate but hey, it is a fantasy world so go for it..

I know one morbidly obese farang in his golden years who insists young hot Asian men have offered
him plane tickets and money for his company and favours. He also relayed stories about rich young
Thais in BKK who 'keep' old farangs as playthings and perfer them to men decades younger.
Stories of hot young Asians picking up elderly farangs in places like Babylon abound and some say
the fatter the hotter and that you haven't lived until you get a 'gum' job but come on guys
reality is reality and let your mirror tell you the truth.
Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest fairy of them all? Hint, he doesn't have folds of hairy fat skin
covering his grey pubic hairs, at least not imho...

I'm still amazed at how the arguments put forth by those disputing that young Thai's can be attracted to older farangs always center around the fact that for that theory to be true young thais MUST ALSO love fat, obese and balding old farangs!

WHY are you making those comparisons??? ANY human being's attraction to another is diminished by poor health, grooming and body care. The POINT is that age is NOT a disqualification factor here in Asia as it is in Western Society. The proof is surely that, at least here, there is a enormous number of young-older relationships than anywhere else.

Got that? If you don't take care of yourself expect your chances of being seen as attractive by a young Thai to diminish considerably. Just because you let yourself go downhill doesn't mean you have to sit around pissing on anyone that tries to say 'Hey, I'm older but these guys really go for me!' If you're fat, old and balding they don't go for you because you don't take care of yourself, period.

How much would anyone bet that if all the naysayers pics were thrown up here they would all be obese and balding?

Thank God for mlomker...he gets it!

[catawampuscat]

there are exceptions to every rule jacklipton.. choke dee

I have known and met hundreds of gay farangs over the years and almost to a man they
all have a story about a special boy who is different, who really loves them and finds them
attractive, who doesn't care about money and the love/attraction is mutual..

Over and over, the farangs find out their gay boyfriend isn't gay and has a wife and kids or
has two or three other farangs who all think they are the only one..
Others buy condos/houses in the boys name and return to find the boy gone, the furniture gone
and some else living there. They don't believe that they could feel such stong emotions and
that it isn't mutual. Reality bites and hurts and has to be experienced to be believed.

It all works much better for me without the games, the lies and the pretense.
If the fantasy works for some, all the better for them but they usually get stung in the end.
I hope jacklipton is the exception.

[rincondog]

Author: jacklipton ┬╗ Wed 25 Nov, 2009 5:29 pm
ANY human being's attraction to another is diminished by poor health, grooming and body care.

I think another major factor is personality. If many of the posters on this board display the same attitudes with Thai guys as they do here on the board, it is no wonder they have to pay to get a Thai companion.

[Ron-Heng Vancouver]

May I please weigh in here?

Some already have a read my story on a similar thread several months ago.

I believe that the matter is complex. Attraction is a complicated matter - how many times have we asked upon seeing a couple... "How could he be with her/him?" Who knows?

My life has been a lucky one! I am in my mid 50s,dress well, full head of hair (S&P), highly educated, very healthy and toned - You are right - take care of your health as best you can! It does help!
I have never used tobacco, rarely use alcohol, watch carefully what is eaten, live a life in balance, always smile and remain positive to everyone.

The result has allowed me a 13 year ( live in every day, 365 days a year) relationship with an attractive well educated and wealthy Thai who I met when he was 24. He is now 37. He never asked for a thing from me, indeed his family has given me far more. He truly loves me and is very loyal. When we first met in a university dining room in Boston within weeks he asked, "Would you be with me forever? Think about it and I will call you in a week!" He did. When he graduated from graduate school he and his sisters and brothers moved him into my home. We have had a heavenly existence since then. We have lived most of our relationship in Boston, Orlando, and Vancouver.

I can also tell you that even in Boston, Orlando and especially Vancouver I have absolutely no difficulty attracting many young mostly Asian men (18-30s) on the street, on transit, and in malls. We have since become long-term friends with many of these men.

Does the person who seek you "need" to seek you, or does he have an interest in you because of you??? There is a difference.

I think it is all about having balance & trust, connecting with someone who is similar in your education and cultural level, and caring about yourself and maintaining your own dignity. Not being a "know it all".

Thanks for letting me offer my opinion.

[quiet1]

Each person has their own unique personality which includes interests and preferences. Some people are into S&M, scat, fisting and/or necrophilia. Other people are into plain jane vanilla hetero missionary-position-only sex. Yet others are totally non-sexual. Gerontophilia, while perhaps more open in a place like Thailand, and especially in Pattaya, is a valid sexual preference.

I think the issue is more of a judgment of what is not one's own preference/practice. e.g. I am a mid-50's out-of-shape fellow, and simply cannot fathom why anyone would be interested in me, since I would not find myself in any way physically attractive, especially sexually.

Objectively, I could maybe, possibly see someone being interested in my personality, and of course, my bank balance, but to assume that all younger men (Thai, or otherwise) would view me from that perspective is probably not accurate. Subjectively, however, it's harder to reconcile their true feelings vs my personal bias.

[Surfcrest]

If you really did watch the Discovery channel, you might know that most, if not all male animals demonstrate what is important to their species and possible suitors in hopes that they will be given the honour to breed. I imagine the strength of this process within a species is directly proportional to the resilience of that species to survive against extinction.

Some animals puff themselves up to show how beautiful or strong they are, some fight to demonstrate their strength. The females have a role in the process, its instinctтАжsexual instinct but Darwin had it spot on, even when describing the Homo sapiens species. Surely the same drive is in gay men without the need to get into top, bottom or whatever role or form of attraction one exhibits toward another.

So what important factors are out there for a gay relationship? Looks, body shape, penis size, ass shapeтАж.an ideally we all wish we had whatever combinations of the before mentioned, that turns our crank. On a long term relationship though, where being together is the most important factorтАж.things like honesty, sincerity and sometimes even monogamy are what can make or break a relationship. In that respect, security plays a factor, a comfortable existence and having someone care for you and you caring for them. No, care does not mean $, gifts, support or otherwise.

quiet1 is absolutely correct, everyone is different with their own unique personality. For those that need someone, I believe there is тАЬsomeone out there for everyoneтАЭ. For those that donтАЩt need anyone, or have no reason to need anyoneтАжsometimes straying away from someone they never should, they too sometimes get their тАЬsomeone for everyoneтАЭ too. Good or bad, right or wrongтАж.itтАЩs the biological variation of us all as individuals.

Is there advice for Boys reading his board? No, I think that the only Thai boys that are reading this forum are involved with someone from this board and that there are no single Thai boys reading this independently. That isnтАЩt to say there arenтАЩt other Asians, also into Thai boys reading this.

If you are a Thai boy and you are reading this you are probably doing so on your boyfriendтАЩs computer, IтАЩm wondering if you have figured out your boyfriendтАЩs PIN numbers and banking information yet. Many guys are good at hiding the photos of their past tricks pretty good, but are sloppy with the banking stuffтАж..you know, the stuff that matters. You might want to look after this for himтАж.keep it safe!

It all works much better for me without the games, the lies and the pretense.
If the fantasy works for some, all the better for them but they usually get stung in the end.
I hope jacklipton is the exception.

I hear you, but there's a cynicism- not undeserved!- in what you say that is almost sad. I know EXACTLY what you're saying and it's why I've never really trusted anyone I've met here in complete manner. At the end of the day this is a third world country, impoverished, and even the most decent and well meaning of these boys is pulled down by the sheer weight of 'that's how you do it'. It goes for the girls too. It may not even be happening on a conscious level, such is the thought process you get from poor, uneducated 'businessmen' that play it the way they are taught.

But the point remains: Is it AGE that is causing this behavior? Is that why they feel free to let you down? It might be poverty, opportunity or just being a thief that may be the reason why they check out with all your furniture in the end, but is it because they never found you truly sexually attractive in the first place?

The post following was MUCH more uplifting (and thank goodness! I was reaching for the noose! j//k)...



I think it is all about having balance & trust, connecting with someone who is similar in your education and cultural level, and caring about yourself and maintaining your own dignity. Not being a "know it all".

Thanks for letting me offer my opinion.

I'm not a crying person, but your story brought tears to my eyes. I'm sure it's not just your fitness your friend loved, but your wonderful personality and capacity for commitment.

You don't say how you met. How lucky you are to have someone like that to share your life with. I believe those qualities reside in many of the gay Thais that aren't forced to desperately seek money. This is a wonderful culture steeped in one of the world's truly good religions. I hope my luck is a fraction of yours. What a happy story!

If you are a Thai boy and you are reading this you are probably doing so on your boyfriendтАЩs computer

so you have never seen an internet cafe in Thailand either?

[cdnmatt]

If you are a Thai boy and you are reading this you are probably doing so on your boyfriendтАЩs computer

so you have never seen an internet cafe in Thailand either?

Or a Thai with a laptop, for that matter...

Each of us follows his own unique path through the maze of urges and emotions which dominate our brain. Anecdotes and advice that are helpful to one do not fit the personalities of all. About all we can do is wish each other well. Cheers.

If you are a Thai boy and you are reading this you are probably doing so on your boyfriendтАЩs computer

My view entirely - in fact I made this point in the second post on this thread, but for some reason it was deleted .....

[Brad the Impala]

I think it is all about having balance & trust, connecting with someone who is similar in your education and cultural level, and caring about yourself and maintaining your own dignity. Not being a "know it all".

Thanks for letting me offer my opinion.

I'm not a crying person, but your story brought tears to my eyes. I'm sure it's not just your fitness your friend loved, but your wonderful personality and capacity for commitment.

You don't say how you met. How lucky you are to have someone like that to share your life with. I believe those qualities reside in many of the gay Thais that aren't forced to desperately seek money. This is a wonderful culture steeped in one of the world's truly good religions. I hope my luck is a fraction of yours. What a happy story!

Perhaps your tears got in the way.............


we first met in a university dining room in Boston.

[Brad the Impala]

I think another major factor is personality. If many of the posters on this board display the same attitudes with Thai guys as they do here on the board, it is no wonder they have to pay to get a Thai companion.

Indeed! The measuring of every experience in terms of it's material cost/benefit solely, being but one of those least attractive characteristics.

ANY human being's attraction to another is diminished by poor health, grooming and body care.You have discounted completely the mothering/parenting/rescuing instinct that is at the basis of many relationships. Do you think that the women who have fallen in love with Stephen Hawking give a fig about his unattractiveness? Of course they do - they care so much they want to overlook it because they want to nurture him. To assume that the only basis of human attraction is attractiveness is completely superficial and flies in the face of reality that we can observe every day.

Perhaps your tears got in the way.............

Ron-Heng Vancouver wrote:
we first met in a university dining room in Boston.

Haha....yes, perhaps they did, thanks for the correction. Actually, I did go back and read it twice but kept looking for a Thai angle...'did he off him?' 'meet him in a BKK disco?'...'pick him up online at GayRomeo'??

Guess my prejudices got the better of me!

[Surfcrest]

so you have never seen an internet cafe in Thailand either?


Or a Thai with a laptop, for that matter...

ItтАЩs not a question of equipment.

For those of you that didn't catch it, that last little bit in my post was meant as warning for everyone. If you are allowing somene to use your computer, be very careful with your banking links, access numbers, PIN's and all the identity particulars to where / how you bank or control anything of value through the internet. There are ways for this someone to go through your hard drive and extract critical snips of information and I suspect some might not let on to you that they are proficient with a computer when actually they are. Thai law will not protect your if money goes missing.

Re: Advice for Boys reading this board.
Author: Copper Pheel ┬╗ Thu 26 Nov, 2009 6:44 am

jacklipton wrote:
ANY human being's attraction to another is diminished by poor health, grooming and body care.
You have discounted completely the mothering/parenting/rescuing instinct that is at the basis of many relationships. Do you think that the women who have fallen in love with Stephen Hawking give a fig about his unattractiveness? Of course they do - they care so much they want to overlook it because they want to nurture him. To assume that the only basis of human attraction is attractiveness is completely superficial and flies in the face of reality that we can observe every day.


That's a great point, and maybe one of the key reasons even disabled that come to Thailand famously have many Thai girls and boys fawning over them.

And another inconsistency would be the point I made about heavy woman in the Renaissance...with the Buddha worship that goes on here perhaps a round tummy is reason for delight more so than disgust. Also, there's the uniqueness factor: Skinniness is so common in Asia (fast becoming less so) that perhaps the novelty of a bit of a bit of flab strikes Asians as quirkily as their skinniness does us. For 99% of human history extra body weight was associated with a bountiful source of food, one of the key ingredients needed to propagate.

This gets more fricking complex all the time...

I believe those qualities reside in many of the gay Thais that aren't forced to desperately seek money.

Having only made one trip, my sample size is small. That being said, the one guy that didn't want any money was born in Bangkok and his family owned businesses (i.e. he didn't have family asking him for money). The guys from a farming background tend to have poor families and are money focused due to people asking them for it. Just a theory...

[Ron-Heng Vancouver]

Perhaps your tears got in the way.............

Ron-Heng Vancouver wrote:
we first met in a university dining room in Boston.

Haha....yes, perhaps they did, thanks for the correction. Actually, I did go back and read it twice but kept looking for a Thai angle...'did he off him?' 'meet him in a BKK disco?'...'pick him up online at GayRomeo'??

Guess my prejudices got the better of me!


Hi Thank you. I truly hope everyone here can or does have similar luck.

Sorry for vague response on how we met. I had given at lecture at the university in Boston and was having lunch at the dining hall. I noticed a young Thai man who kept sneaking a look at me and I called him over. I asked, "do you want something or can I help you?" He quickly but shyly responded, "ah, no, sir...." and walked back.. Once again, he kept looking and smiling, so I asked him over. "Would you like to have lunch with me? He said yes.. Sp we talked about everything and he had not visited my home area. I suggested sometime he might. We exchanged phone #s... Soon he called and got to the point about how he liked me .."really liked me..." "Do you like me, you know what I mean, Mr.?" I got it and told him I did. He asked me to go on a date in Boston with him. Once there., he kept calling me on my car phone... I arrived to his standing on the sidewalk with all his brothers and sisters. We all went to dinner and had a great time. Later in a few weeks, we had a date with just us, then he invited me to stay at his home n the same room, different bed.... but in the night I saw him seated like a Buddha at the end of my bed...so I asked if he wanted me to sleep with him. He shook his head... He later disclosed he had been with a few other white men, one of whom had abused this almost angelic human. "I was returning to Bangkok, Ron. I pray to the Buddha every night... please bring me a nice person, then I saw you in the dining room and thought this is the man...."

By the way, his family owned 4 Thai rest. in Boston area... and I ate every Friday night FOR FREE. His brothers and sisters or he would take me to clothing stores and smother me in clothes.... give give give.. made me so humble...

Later, the rest of the family in Bangkok would meet me.. In 13 years I have become accepted into the family and we spend many happy moments here or there with laughter and love.... Everyone in the family speaks English except his mom and dad.

We immigrated to Vancouver from the US as a common law partner application and work as partners and a team here.

By the way, he was a student at Chulakorn University he had many Thai boy friends, not white guys. FYI/./

Persistening, listening to each other and respecting with great dignity each other and customs, culture help.

We both wish everyone on the Board a good and healthy life .

I really don't know who I'll be most interested in as I get older. I can't imagine it'll be the 18-25 group, though...I just don't have anything in common with people who haven't been to college, held a job, owned a home, etc. It seems to be a very unrealistic and materialistic age range.

Are you serious?

In order to "have anything in common with" someone they have to have "been to college, held a job, owned a home, etc."? ... and OPs accuse me of being arrogant!

Maybe I am misreading it, but that has to be the most prejudiced and "materialistic" comment I have ever read here. I could understand it on the grounds of maturity, but that is a different matter entirely.

"college" - in many countries and certainly in the States, as in Thailand, it is certainly no indicator of intelligence and little indicator of even a good education; for many it simply means either that their parents paid the bills or that they could play sport. What about the University of Life?

"held a job" - well, I haven't had one of those for some time, but at least that covers a wider field.

"owned a home" - I never owned one of those until I retired, and even then although I own my home now I have rented for most of the time I have lived here. The majority of my farang friends here rent rather than own, and it has never crossed my mind to ask if they owned a home before. Why would I care?

Not much point us meeting for that "beverage" after all - we don't seem to have enough "in common".


Potest ex casa magnus vir exire. (Seneca)

I could understand it on the grounds of maturity, but that is a different matter entirely. [W]hat about the University of Life?

Exactly, that is what I was trying to convey. In the States many in the 18-25 yr old age range have lived off the largess of their parents all of their lives. Being out on your own, paying your own way, causes people to mature in a way that they can't otherwise.

I had thought that Thais might be more mature due to living a harder life, but I met a guy in his early 20's and his attitude was like someone his age in the States....money, parties, cell phones, and no signs of ambition/plans for the future. This could have been forgiven if he were any good in bed but that was also disappointing. lol. He was just another reminder of why I prefer the late 20's/early 30's set.

[Surfcrest]

He was just another reminder of why I prefer the late 20's/early 30's set.

I agree with mlomker, it is normal for a gay man's preferences to age with him. This might not apply to the guys here that prefer the slim little asians, but outside of that and in the gay mainstream.....absolutely.

Yes, as we get older, our preferences seem to age along with us if we want a тАЬmeaningfulтАЭ relationship. For me, it's quite simple: If I want to be mesmerized by one of those flawless 18 yo bodies whose owner announces in words or actions several times during the night, тАЬme horneyтАЭ, then IтАЩll head for Sunee, try to find someone who is legal and drug free, and I wonтАЩt expect a word of English from him.

However, if I want to talk first, the way тАЬnormalтАЭ human beings do, and then have just a single sexual performance, IтАЩll up the age target to mid-20тАЩs. Twenty-three, IMO, seems to be the minimum age at which one can expect a boy to have maturity of outlook. Last night, I thought I had chosen a 23 yr old in Boyztown, but he admitted after a few minutes conversation in the bar that he was 32. Still in great shape and those minor imperfections that accompany the 30-something body were certainly not off-putting when we dimmed the lights and got into bed.

For tonight, I have тАЬreservedтАЭ a 21 yr old in Boyztown who says he speaks little English because his school only offered French as a foreign language. Thai-French-English. The attempts at communication should be interesting, since my pronunciation in both Thai and French is often an obstacle.

Give mlomker a break here. He's not in any way a full timer in Thailand and if I'm right he's only visited a few times, but he's done a wonderful job allowing us to see the insights from the Western perspective dropping into our little corner of paradise- without the sometimes depressing cynicism prevalent on this board and others.

All that stuff he points out as qualifications is of course geared toward what he might ask of serious partner in the States, but we can all figure out the relative qualifications we'd ask over here. I mean, wouldn't our list look something like this?


- Did you finish primary school?
- Did you work on your folk's farm or in their shop?
- Are you using yaba currently?
- Can you speak any English beyond 'Where you from?', 'Where you stay?', 'Up To You', 'I not do', 'Ok', 'My friend waiting'
- Do you have a bank account with enough baht to get you by for six months?
- Do you have a plan for what happens when you turn 20 and people think your too old to off? (j/k)
- Been anywhere but Isaan or Pattaya in your life?
- Know how to use a Western toilet without standing on the seat?

I can count on one hand Thai guys under 22 that I saw regularly who ever had any money left a day after a good paying gig. I mean, I know they might lie, but these guys don't live life beyond the day after tomorrow. In fact, this trait is fairly ubiquitous to this culture: They live in the moment as much as possible. This is a land where food is plentiful (and available on the side of the road if you're hungry- whether a stall or a banana, pineapple or coconut plantation), the weather always warm and bearable, and relatively worry free. What could possibly go so wrong that you have to bank a lot of money to get by?? So they don't.

The attempts at communication should be interesting, since my pronunciation in both Thai and French is often an obstacle.

Sounds like you're having a great time. Enjoy!


if I'm right he's only visited a few times

One trip of two weeks, so far. I spend more time reading books, websites, & blogs about the country than is rational but it does keep me from going nuts here.


we can all figure out the relative qualifications we'd ask over here

heh. Something like that. I spent time getting to know 4 guys during my visit and they ran the gamut from beach boy to college graduate and 22-32 years old. I think I was fortunate to meet a variety of guys from different backgrounds.

I liked the 29yr old guy from the beach quite a bit, excepting that he had a habit of drinking away his insecurities. He'd probably make a good boyfriend but he didn't feel like he could compete anymore with the younger guys on the casual scene. A personable guy that speaks good English so I hope he finds what he's looking for.

[Surfcrest]

However, if I want to talk first, the way тАЬnormalтАЭ human beings do, and then have just a single sexual performance, IтАЩll up the age target to mid-20тАЩs. Twenty-three, IMO, seems to be the minimum age at which one can expect a boy to have maturity of outlook. Last night, I thought I had chosen a 23 yr old in Boyztown, but he admitted after a few minutes conversation in the bar that he was 32. Still in great shape and those minor imperfections that accompany the 30-something body were certainly not off-putting when we dimmed the lights and got into bed.


Great respose Bob, I believe that speaks to what mlomker wrote.

....and so for some, in perspective to what Bob said and looking at it from the other way around....what is the maximim age the boy can be for us to "get it up", unassisted. If that number is very low, especially when compared to our own age....are we really gay, or are our preferences exclusive to what we might find in Sunne?

Sometimes, with this discussion I think we are talking apples and oranges...without crossing that SGT line in the sand.

I could understand it on the grounds of maturity, but that is a different matter entirely. [W]hat about the University of Life?

Exactly, that is what I was trying to convey.

In that case I agree with you 100% (and I'll take you up on the beverage after all).


I met a guy in his early 20's and his attitude was like someone his age in the States

He must have been old before his time! The majority of the Thais I know, while as mature physically as those in the West, are considerably less mature mentally - or maybe my memory is playing up again, as it is over 20 years since I was in the States and close to that since I had much to do with people younger than me in the UK.



ItтАЩs not a question of equipment.

I thought it was always a question of "equipment"?

He must have been old before his time!

The young guy that I met was an odd combination of street-wise but immature. I think in the West you're as likely to get naivety (more graciously called 'innocence') to go along with the immaturity.

[thrillbill]

I certainly believe there are a few. People are attracted to a wide variety of things.

When I was in my 20's I dated guys 4-5 years younger...in my 30's I'm interested in 10 yrs younger. I really don't know who I'll be most interested in as I get older. I can't imagine it'll be the 18-25 group, though...I just don't have anything in common with people who haven't been to college, held a job, owned a home, etc. It seems to be a very unrealistic and materialistic age range.[/quote]
************************************************
True. So many Thai guys I meet through Gay Romeo or at clubs in BKK are ...shocked, appalled...insulted at times when I tell them I am not interested in them since am attracted to older fellows, in their 30's -40's that "look like man" (meaning not fem, and with an athletic body) Their ego seems to be melted away because these skinny, young "boys" are always looked attractive by horny farangs just because they are young (18-23 years old). ??????? Muscular, manly studs in their 30's and 40's seems to be considered attractive in Western countries since that is the "norm" with the gay porn and poster boys...you don't see thin, 21 year olds being the main attraction.

[cdnmatt]

Twenty-three, IMO, seems to be the minimum age at which one can expect a boy to have maturity of outlook.

I agree, 23 sounds about right. The human mind doesn't fully develop until you're about 21, so a couple years to find your way around the world with the new thought processes, and you're good to go with forward and analytical thinking! Until then, you're basically just one large walking ball of hormones and emotions. The BF is definitely a good reminder of this. I'd like to get mad at him sometimes for it, but how can I when he's crying, visibly upset, and about to disappear to Kohn Kaen on me?

Muscular, manly studs in their 30's and 40's seems to be considered attractive in Western countries since that is the "norm" with the gay porn and poster boys...you don't see thin, 21 year olds being the main attraction.

Really? I had noticed that most hetero porn is older men but a lot of gay stuff is younger. I'm not that into porn but I've watched more than a few videos from Bel Ami (http://tour.belamionline.com/tour.aspx?Page=5).

You're definitely right about most of the guys being at least swimmer's builds...most spend some serious time in the gym.

I've really enjoyed the contributions to this thread. For once, all of the comments have been in the category of what I think this kind of blog should be: an attempt to share advice and experiences that will aid our colleagues in dealing with short and long term partners in Thailand. Thanks, everyone.

BTW, the 21 yr old last night who said his English was limited because his school only offered French as a foreign language: well that didn't mean he spoke French fluently. It just meant he sat in French class for a couple of years. Very minimal English and I didn't succeed in getting a word of French out of him. I would have enjoyed hearing a go-go boy speak the language.

Performance-wise: I must be getting too demanding in my old age, or the boys have entered a new phase of customer service. I miss the days (nights) when most boys would at least pretend it was more than a casual, commercial encounter: snuggle up to me on the sofa while watching TV, maybe even more than snuggling on the sofa, an offer to shower together instead of automatically locking the bathroom door when they shower alone, at least minimal enthusiasm when kissing, a good bit of body contact after sex as well, more snuggling when we finally are ready to sleep - as opposed to his turning his back and building a wall of blankets and pillows to demark his territory, and that final kiss goodbye when I drop him off at his room the next morning. (I have stopped expecting anyone to make the bed in the morning. I suppose they all think that Housekeeping will show up at my house to do the menial work.) I suppose if I really want Full Service, I should get hold of one of the boys IтАЩve been helping for some time. Most of the one-nighters just donтАЩt see the need to go beyond the minimal.

I have stopped expecting anyone to make the bed in the morning.

I was always a little amused when my friends would make the bed in the morning. It was little things like that which I found quite endearing about the Thai guys...that sort of instinctual thoughtfulness toward others doesn't exist in the States and you see it in many little behaviors. I wouldn't mind being more like that, it seems like a nice way to live.

Performance-wise: I must be getting too demanding in my old age, or the boys have entered a new phase of customer service. I miss the days (nights) when most boys would at least pretend it was more than a casual, commercial encounter: snuggle up to me on the sofa while watching TV, maybe even more than snuggling on the sofa, an offer to shower together instead of automatically locking the bathroom door when they shower alone, at least minimal enthusiasm when kissing, a good bit of body contact after sex as well, more snuggling when we finally are ready to sleep - as opposed to his turning his back and building a wall of blankets and pillows to demark his territory, and that final kiss goodbye when I drop him off at his room the next morning. (I have stopped expecting anyone to make the bed in the morning. I suppose they all think that Housekeeping will show up at my house to do the menial work.) I suppose if I really want Full Service, I should get hold of one of the boys IтАЩve been helping for some time. Most of the one-nighters just donтАЩt see the need to go beyond the minimal.

Man, here I was thinking last night 'Gee, that Bob guy really has his scene nailed down! How do the regulars here get their quality time when its all I can do to keep them from watching their mobiles every fifteen seconds!?' All my laments are there in your post...no snuggling and smooching naturally...no mutual showering and fondling...no warmth of post sex embrace in bed...and that 'sleepover' that essentially means he sleeps facing away and in a near-dead state, grunting when you try to snuggle against him.

I think it has a LOT to do with the cynicism and commercialization. In this day of the Internet these guys share all the tricks of the trade in real time. Back before, in the 90's and prior, these boys operated in a very localized area, with only info from their buddies to go by. No reading about the scene in BKK from other boys, no Internet-inspired enlightenment of the rest of the world. If you had asked a Thai boy in 1995 about what happens in their farang customer's home country with regard to sex they would have ZERO idea. Today, they probably know all about what their Western counterparts make and what they can get away with from their farang johns.

And last night I got lucky. Picked up a guy from Isaan starting his first day at the beer bar, and despite being just a tad past my acceptable ladyboy spot on the dial (he'll be in full vamp mode in two months, you watch), he delivered a nice evening. Eager and glad to get out of the bar, he was quite a stunner- and the katoey hairdresser mafia hadn't managed to grab him and force one of their awful spiky haircuts on him. So eager to please and practically attacked me while watching some old thai porn. Loved kissing, loved contact and I'm still mopping up after his first 'finish' in what must have been many a village moons!

Say...maybe the key is seeking out the newer guys that aren't straight???

[Surfcrest]

I think it has a LOT to do with the cynicism and commercialization. In this day of the Internet these guys share all the tricks of the trade in real time. Back before, in the 90's and prior, these boys operated in a very localized area, with only info from their buddies to go by. No reading about the scene in BKK from other boys, no Internet-inspired enlightenment of the rest of the world. If you had asked a Thai boy in 1995 about what happens in their farang customer's home country with regard to sex they would have ZERO idea. Today, they probably know all about what their Western counterparts make and what they can get away with from their farang johns.


To a certain extent, what you describe has been going on for many years. Many years ago I would head up to the Saphan Kwai and pick boys out of the few bars they had up there and these boys were usually sweet, sort of innocent and eager to please. Then, back to Silom the boys were street wise...asked for a lot more, you had to watch your wallet and make the bed? (Not a chance)
Although I really love Chiang Mai boys (and still do), these boys really knew how to play you too and this goes well before the internet...and continues (in my experiemnces) now.

Every once in awhile, we get a good one...they do the sweet things, make the bed...I had one in Phuket once who got up early and left a rose on the bed in the morning, before I woke up when he went off to school. This isn't to say they will always stay like this, not get spoiled by our money and the influence of other boys. There are also some bad ones, you pretty much have to nail everything down...especially if you opt for a shower yourselfe before / after. Sometimes there is no relation between their sweetness or lack of sweetness and the sex...which is why some stay with the not so sweet, but these are just a few of the things that makes Gay Thailand....what it is

[cdnmatt]

Not to point out the obvious here, but you guys are looking for passionate love making with a prostitute you've known for mere hours? Bit of an oxymoron, no?

If that's what you're really looking for, then find one boy you really like, and take him under your wing. Alot of these guys are genuinely looking for a farang to take them in, and provide them with long-term stability and security, far more than they're looking for a few thousand baht so they can goto NAB. Unfortunately from my experience, it's far more difficult for a Thai to find a quality farang, than it is for a farang to find a quality Thai.

Not to point out the obvious here, but you guys are looking for passionate love making with a prostitute you've known for mere hours? Bit of an oxymoron, no?

If that's what you're really looking for, then find one boy you really like, and take him under your wing. Alot of these guys are genuinely looking for a farang to take them in, and provide them with long-term stability and security, far more than they're looking for a few thousand baht so they can goto NAB. Unfortunately from my experience, it's far more difficult for a Thai to find a quality farang, than it is for a farang to find a quality Thai.

You...pointed out the obvious! One reason we all love Thailand is that even for prostitutes they give a level of comfort that's extremely rare in similar situations anywhere else. My few forays into 'buying fun' in the West were horrible experiences and very cold blooded. It turned me off and I never bothered again. Then I started coming to Thailand and it was fantastic. The same is true on the girl side...all my friends talk about how anywhere else you go there is no presumption of anything but business when you go with girls in HK, Japan or Korea. Not even a veneer of romance, but the Thai girls...ahhhh, they say.

I wonder what the regulars here who have their favorites would talk about how their quality of dates improved as they sought steady contacts to ring up and have fun? Does it evolve from being from being dispassionate to hot-blooded? My fear is getting an attachment that is a pain to get rid of when interest wanes. I don't have time for trapping games that I hear so much about. The one time I tried to get something regular going I would have someone showing up at all hours knocking on the door. Or showing up with a couple of friends expecting them to be given food and drink as if we were all buddies. Shaking them can be a nightmare, from what I have read many times here!

"One reason we all love Thailand is that even for prostitutes they give a level of comfort that's extremely rare in similar situations anywhere else".

I agree. I don't think anyone is expecting "passionate love" from a prostitute, and that is certainly not what I was referring to. Indeed, if they were passionate, I would probably be too shocked to complete my part of the performance. Just reminiscing about the times when they appeared less cold blooded, and were able to act out a little warmth.

"...it's far more difficult for a Thai to find a quality farang, than it is for a farang to find a quality Thai".

That is one of the most thought provoking comments I have read today. No idea how to verify that, but it is worthy of some consideration. I guess it depends on what percentage of us are butterflies and how many are looking for LTR's and what qualifications we impose when looking for our "true love". I suspect that the boys have experienced, directly or indirectly, so many disappointing farangs that they are often reluctant to expose the warmth that so many of them are capable of.

[Impulse]

My fear is getting an attachment that is a pain to get rid of when interest wanes. exactly.I met a nice guy from a beer bar and the first night he said he wanted to go to the airport with me when i leave. It just seemed like a friend had told him to say this. I told him he really didnt have to. The last one i was with started on about getting a farang to open up a business for him within the first hour we met.

[Impulse]

And last night I got lucky. Picked up a guy from Isaan starting his first day at the beer bar, You have a much better chance of getting all the extras that a straight guy wont provide if you stick to the beer bars where most of them are gay.I find that these are the ones that are dreaming of a farang coming and whisking them away forever.Sad that so few probably ever realise this.

Sad that so few probably ever realise this.

That's because its so dis-intuitive.

The first three years of seeing the scene I would walk past those places and go 'why would any one take a chance on guys that can't make it at the big show, the go go places?...they must be the ones that didn't get picked'. It also runs counter to what your instincts tell you: 'I want fast good sex with a cute guy so the sure deal GOTTA be the one with near-naked boys dancing onstage, right? I mean, you don't go on those show-floors unless you mean business, right?' 

Well NO, actually. If you're straight and want to pick up some easy cash you can shake your bootie on stage for a laugh, get offed to keep the mamasan happy, then muddle through your farang date for a low tip at worse. Those same guys sit at beer bar and their cover won't last 15 minutes sitting with a farang...no way, no how.

Plus, if you disappoint farangs after being offed you can stay on the dance floor not having to even deal with the grumbling. At the beer bars their is literally no place to hide from a bad date.

I'm one of the dumber ones that took a few years to figure out that beer bars were easier to find guys at that perform, and a lot of that delay was because it took me a long time to weed out the ladyboys and the scruffy ones that tend to overpower them. Once I was able to do that it became a LOT easier to frequent the beer bars.

Twenty-three, IMO, seems to be the minimum age at which one can expect a boy to have maturity of outlook.Which is why my preferred age group is 18 - 22. At 18 they're legal, at 23 they have opinions.

he wanted to go to the airport with me when i leave. It just seemed like a friend had told him to say this. I told him he really didnt have to.

I've had the guys propose that and some other impractical things (like taking a bus from Bangkok to spend one day with me in Pattaya on their one day off that week). The same guy also got far too sweet in an email when he clearly didn't feel that way. What's interesting is that this guy is not a money boy.

The Thai just have a strong desire to make people happy (at least on the surface) even if it requires white lies/half-truths to do so. In the West we'd err toward being up-front in those same situations..."thanks for the sex, have a nice trip." lol.


At 18 they're legal, at 23 they have opinions.

They tend to be bad lays as well. Many only interested in a hand job for maximum baht. If you've found a few that are the exception then they are certainly pretty, I'll give you that.

[Surfcrest]

Not to point out the obvious here, but you guys are looking for passionate love making with a prostitute you've known for mere hours? Bit of an oxymoron, no?

If that's what you're really looking for, then find one boy you really like, and take him under your wing. A lot of these guys are genuinely looking for a farang to take them in, and provide them with long-term stability and security, far more than they're looking for a few thousand baht so they can goto NAB. Unfortunately from my experience, it's far more difficult for a Thai to find a quality farang, than it is for a farang to find a quality Thai.

Maybe IтАЩm missing the drift when you say тАЬpassionateтАЭ, but I for one certainly am looking for great sex with a prostituteтАжand maybe IтАЩve just been lucky in how IтАЩve chosen them, but so far IтАЩve been very happy with my experiences. If I get a really good one, like I had in Bangkok on my previous trip to the LOS, IтАЩll take him out on a repeat basisтАжmuch like I would do if I found a good masseur.

Do I want to take him under my wing, open my heart and wallet to him? Hell no!
My expectation is that heтАЩs gone after he showers and collects his dough.

IтАЩve been coming to Thailand since I was in my late twenties. Sometimes the connection is made while they are on stage, sitting in a beer bar, at the bathhouse, on the BTS / MRT (In the last 10 тАУ 5 years respectively), in the street, in the mallтАжwhere ever. On my first night, on my first trip I never even made it to a barтАжI stopped for cigarettes (I smoked back then тАУ briefly), picked up the boy running the kioskтАж.he closed up and back to my room we wentтАж.still one of my most тАЬpassionateтАЭ sexual memories even today.

I see plenty of Thai boys with their farangs in tow in the malls, the gold shops, the motorcycle dealershipsтАж.and I wonder, is this farang trying to complete some sort of need like what itтАЩs like to have a тАЬsonтАЭ or a needy тАЬboyfriend / spouseтАЭ? Walking hand in hand in public, is that something you do here because you either canтАЩt back home (wherever you come from) or you couldnтАЩt find someone back home to complete this need for you?

DonтАЩt get me wrong, before my current b.f. of 13 years I too have had тАЬboy specialsтАЭ that IтАЩve been convinced into buying expensive gold chains for and in one very fond case a motorcycle (not a scooter). Even in the last 13 years IтАЩve had short term boy specials, that my b.f. and I either share or I have to myself if IтАЩm travelling solo. Quite often they are a pleasure to travel around Thailand with, enabling me to see and photograph a side of Thailand that I might not see on the usual mainstream tourist path. ItтАЩs a business relationship for me now; I make that known up front, I remind the boy if necessary and IтАЩll replace him swiftly if he isnтАЩt getting it or doenтАЩt continue to live up to my expectation. IтАЩm not looking for any boy to scribble down his banking information for me to take back to Canada. In this respect, it has been both cheaper overall and with fewer tears or regrets when its time to fly home.

I apply the same logic when IтАЩm in Havana and it has worked perfectly for me / us there too as well.

Of all the farangs IтАЩve met over the years, including some who IтАЩve met from SGTтАжwe too are all different, with our wants, needs and desires. Connecting the dots with the many different Thai boys out there doesnтАЩt always match upтАжbut for me quite often it has, which is why I keep coming back.

Chok Dee!

Of all the farangs IтАЩve met over the years, including some who IтАЩve met from SGTтАжwe too are all different, with our wants, needs and desires.

Agreed, 100%.


Walking hand in hand in public, is that something you do here because you either canтАЩt back home (wherever you come from) or you couldnтАЩt find someone back home to complete this need for you?

It is not my choice, but it is something we do because he likes doing it, whether it is in the garden at home, in the local market, in the malls, or anywhere else. Before him the only people I held hands with were my parents, just as the only person who called me "darling" was my mother - now I have got used to it, its mutual, and it no longer embarrasses me as it used to and it feels perfectly natural (almost!) whether it is here (Thailand) or abroad.

In fairness I should point out that we are Civil Partners and I find (as he does) the sight of a farang with someone who has barely managed to change out of their night-time working attire (male or female) faintly ridiculous when taken to extremes and they are exchanging bodily fluids while queueing at the checkout in Carrefour.

[Surfcrest]

and I find (as he does) the sight of a farang with someone who has barely managed to change out of their night-time working attire (male or female) faintly ridiculous when taken to extremes and they are exchanging bodily fluids while queueing at the checkout in Carrefour.

Or fondling, even fucking in the shallow waters of Dong Tan beach......come on!

[yedo111]

I think some of you old guys only been with barboys all your life.

Age difference and love at the same time is possible , im in my 40s and I'm in a relationship with a 23 y.o student from Chiang Mai for 3 years now, so its possible . I never had sex with anyone else during this time .

I know its hard to believe on a forum like this but who cares, I still love him .

[Brad the Impala]

GOOD FOR YOU... :headbang: TO DREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM.....

Indeed! A wet dream is the best dream that many posters here aspire to!

Had 3 experiences with beer bar boys recently. First one was 19, good looking lady boy, тАЬmetтАЭ him on GayRomeo and then went to check him out in person. Early in our conversation at his bar in Sunee, I admitted that I had тАЬfriendsтАЭ throughout Issan and I was not looking for an LTR. After that, there was no hope of breaking through his professional veneer and the night passed without any visible sign of emotion on his part.

The second was a young looking 32 yr old at a beer bar in Boyztown. Definitely the type who was waiting for his Prince Charming. Claimed to love old men, repeated тАЬChawb Khon GaaтАЭ a dozen times. Good foreplay, good sex, good snuggling afterwards and during the night. Had I been interested in an LTR, could have signed him up immediately.

Third one, also тАЬmetтАЭ on GayRomeo, worked at a beer bar in Jomtien Complex. Sweet 19 yr old, definitely gay, very good looking, but in no way willing to invest any emotion in the encounter.

Miscellaneous:

Anyone ever heard mobile phone beeps during sex and afterwards learned that the boy was watching gay porn video clips in order to keep up his part of the bargain?

Well, I thought this morning, looking at it from a prostituteтАЩs point of view, I would also probably try to get by with a quick hand job or any other kind of semi-noncommittal sex unless my customer had some qualities which I found very attractive/appealing.

Morning sex? One memorable response, announced firmly, was that тАЬThai people do not have sex in the morningтАЭ. Three or four boys during the last ten years were eager to play before getting out of bed. Others just said, тАЬOh, you want to cum?тАЭ and were willing to assist but not to join in.

I asked a go-go boy the other night тАЬKhun Gay Mai?тАЭ (He was an ex-Coyote at NAB, claimed to have received 5,000 per off; I didnтАЩt understand his explanation for quitting.) He answered that he was gay тАЬNit NoyтАЭ, and that had me laughing heartily for five minutes. We couldnтАЩt communicate enough to find out exactly what тАЬlittle bitтАЭ of him was gay. He looked gay, performed gay.

Cheers.

[Surfcrest]

I think some of you old guys only been with barboys all your life.

Age difference and love at the same time is possible , im in my 40s and I'm in a relationship with a 23 y.o student from Chiang Mai for 3 years now, so its possible . I never had sex with anyone else during this time .


No, despite what others may say....that is truly good news, thank you very much.
I wonder though, you say you are in your forties, did you retire early...are you living in Thailannd permanently now?
So sorry you think we are all old guys, not sure why anyone would have a problem with older guys....especially here.
I'm 46....so not sure how that compares to you...also in your forties.
Wecome to the "old guys club, I guess sweetie pie!

[cdnmatt]

and I wonder, is this farang trying to complete some sort of need like what itтАЩs like to have a тАЬsonтАЭ or a needy тАЬboyfriend / spouseтАЭ? Walking hand in hand in public, is that something you do here because you either canтАЩt back home (wherever you come from) or you couldnтАЩt find someone back home to complete this need for you?

Can only speak for myself, but for me it was simply a case of sometimes the best things in life are the most unexpected. It's not like I came to Thailand, hoping to find a BF and fall in love. And especially after last night, he's proven to me beyond any shadow of a doubt that he truly and genuinely loves me as well.

heh, weird how life works like that, eh? The best things are usually the most unexpected. So much for five year plans...

I must say after living here for some years that the straight guys I meet for the most are very good sexuallySo in your opinion the straight guys with whom you have gay sex are fairly typical of the Thai straight male population overall?

[yedo111]

I think some of you old guys only been with barboys all your life.

Age difference and love at the same time is possible , im in my 40s and I'm in a relationship with a 23 y.o student from Chiang Mai for 3 years now, so its possible . I never had sex with anyone else during this time .


No, despite what others may say....that is truly good news, thank you very much.
I wonder though, you say you are in your forties, did you retire early...are you living in Thailannd permanently now?
So sorry you think we are all old guys, not sure why anyone would have a problem with older guys....especially here.
I'm 46....so not sure how that compares to you...also in your forties.
Wecome to the "old guys club, I guess sweetie pie!

:hello1:

Wow another young guy here around my age , what a surprise :8(

No I didn't retire early , my job is in Europe but I work from my laptop most of the time so I can stay in Thailand a few months every year to be with my bf. I love Chiang Mai but also try to spend a few weeks on the beach.
About our relationship I can't predict the future but I feel better now than before, I'm not a fan of the barboy scene .
I have a family waiting when I'm staying there , I know I can trust them and thats important .

Is that him on your avatar, yedo111? If so, what cutie. So nice, normal looking and looks every bit the sweetheart. Where did you meet him?

I get discouraged because I KNOW those sweet guys are out there and I know I would connect well with them- I hate the 'game' and find the boys unattractive physically and inside. I'm generally attracted to just the normal guys. One place you WON'T find the middle class gay guys, I suspect, is in bars or on gayromeo type sites. GR is nothing but a moneyboy site as far as I'm concerned.

I'm so tired of all the queens and the mincing that the 'game' boys all think everyone wants. Can't wait until I figure out where to find a bf that is just a normal thinking and looking Thai person. I'm really heartened that so many of the regulars here seem to stumble upon the real deal every once in a while, so there's that. Sigh...

[Surfcrest]

No I didn't retire early , my job is in Europe but I work from my laptop most of the time so I can stay in Thailand a few months every year to be with my bf. I love Chiang Mai but also try to spend a few weeks on the beach.
About our relationship I can't predict the future but I feel better now than before, I'm not a fan of the barboy scene .
I have a family waiting when I'm staying there , I know I can trust them and thats important.

That's great news indeed.
Without having to give out any personal information, it sounds as though it would be a big help to some members here to read more about what makes your situation work so well...should this is their quest as well.

Without having to give out any personal information, it sounds as though it would be a big help to some members here to read more about what makes your situation work so well...should this is their quest as well.

You got that right.

[yedo111]

Yes it's him , the avatar is 3 years old so he was only 21 back then .

In Chiang Mai a lot of the boys live and study at the University and its very easy to make contact with them.
But I guess I was just lucky one night, I met him when he was out with friends at Mandalay and the rest is history.

I think you should try to get away from the hectic Pattaya scene for a while , Chiang Mai is more relaxed and fun.

He's really cute. Lucky you. I like Chiang Mai and almost moved there and would not rule out a move some day. Maybe you could show me the ropes a bit!

He really is adorable...sigh

[Art]

http://www.roumazeilles.net/news/fr/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/aztec-mask.gif

┬╗тАж forget him because he is most likely an English teacher and he will only
give you peanuts, if he gives you anything at all.┬л

Not even a modest sexually transmitted infection?

A. Invest in your education and learn English. Enjoy the large selection of English
teachers. Pick out two teachers with a clear and pleasant pronunciation. Arrange one
date with two lessons per week with every teacher. Pay with cash, if possible.

http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2009/10/01/nyregion/sully2-480.jpg
An overqualified glider pilot in the cockpit of a potential Airbus A320 glider.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gliding_(flight)#Glide_ratio

┬╗Yes, preflight inspection of a plane is part of the routine for all pilots embarking on
any journey. No doubt the aircraft may have been certified suitable for flight and a
complete inspection done by the engineer, it is normal for a flight crew member
(either a First Officer and occasionally a Captain) to conduct a physical external
check again before each originating flight.┬л

B. Your customers supply you with a vast collection of sexually transmitted infections. Which one do you like best?

┬╗A sexually transmitted disease (STD), also known as sexually transmitted infection (STI) or venereal disease (VD), is an illness that has a significant probability of transmission between humans or animals by means of human sexual behavior, including vaginal intercourse, oral sex, and anal sex. While in the past, these illnesses have mostly been referred to as STDs or VD, in recent years the term sexually transmitted infection (STI) has been preferred, as it has a broader range of meaning; a person may be infected, and may potentially infect others, without showing signs of disease.┬л http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexually_transmitted_disease

Preflight inspection:
┬╗Checking every client is essential. This fact sheet explains how to protect your sexual health by checking male and female clients for sexually transmitted infections (STIs). It also explains what to do if you think your client has an STI:┬л
http://www.sqwisi.org.au/sqwisi/resources/Checking%20a%20client.pdf

Pictures of sexually transmitted infections:
http://www.sqwisi.org.au/sqwisi/resources/STI%20Infections%2006.pdf

Skin Disease Image Atlas:
http://www.dermnet.com/moduleIndex.cfm?moduleID=16

Sexually Transmitted Diseases A to Z:
http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/category/stis-a-to-z

Oral Sex and Sexually Transmitted Diseases:
http://sexuality.about.com/od/saferse1/a/safer_oral_sex.htm
┬╗Since most people who engage in oral sex also have other kinds of sex, it's difficult for researchers to know exactly how common it is for STDs to be transmitted only via oral sex. At the same time, we do know that many common STDs can be transmitted via oral sex (fellatio or cunnilingus). These include:┬л

Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
Herpes
HIV
Human papilloma virus (HPV)
Nongonococcal urethritis (NGU)
Syphilis

http://static.squidoo.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/draft_lens2384809module13523834photo_1232323882fli ght-path-1549.jpg
http://www.mercurynewsphoto.com/mp3/us_airways_1549_audio_edit.mp3

Trade tips for male sex workers: SEX
http://www.sexworker.org.au/uploads/documents/BoysTipsSex.pdf

Working in the porn industry. Not a parody:
http://blog.alternativemodeling.com/?page_id=21

If it hurts, donтАЩt do it:
┬╗If inserted too deeply, too quickly, the penis or object can cause pain or even push through the closed sphincter causing an anal tear. Although the threat of fecal incontinence from anal sex is small, it can occur from repeated injury to the internal sphincter. This occurs when a penis is repeatedly inserted through a contracted internal sphincter. Over time the muscle may be unable to properly seal tightly, resulting in fecal incontinence. Rates increase with fisting and insertion of large sex toys into the anus.┬л http://healthydevil.studentaffairs.duke.edu/health_info/Anal%20Stimulation%20and%20Intercourse.html

Anal Sex тАУ All About Ass:
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=272148

Rape:
http://www.aest.org.uk/survivors/male/myths_about_male_rape.htm

http://www.camerondavidson.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/us-airways-0906-01.jpg
http://www.faa.gov/data_research/accident_incident/1549/

Gay Sex Without Regret: What's Safe for You
http://www.managingdesire.org/GaySexWithoutRegret.html#anchor638596

Justusboys Health & Wellbeing Forum (37.000+ posts):
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=58

http://1831.img.pp.sohu.com.cn/images/blog/2009/1/17/13/8/11f8c6a757ag215.jpg
Voil├а! But .................................................. ...........................................

┬╗Many passengers, the testimony also showed, did not take flotation devices
with them when they left the plane, although crew members and some passengers
gathered life vests and tossed them out to the evacuees.

Flight 1549 was lucky to have had rafts and life vests on board, because federal regulations
require such equipment only on scheduled extended over-water flights - which the route from
New York to Charlotte, N.C., was not.

Only 20 of the 75 A320 jetliners in the US Airways fleet are equipped for flights over water.Hans-Juergen Lohmann of Airbus Industries testified that the two usable rafts were designed to hold 44 passengers each under normal circumstances, and 55 passengers in unusual circumstances, meaning that there would not have been room for at least 40 of the people who were on the plane that day.

Only 12 of the 150 passengers said they had read their safety information cards before the flight. And few paid "full" attention to the flight attendants' safety demonstration, which had replaced the video version to save on costs.┬л

http://articles.latimes.com/2009/jun/15/nation/na-water-landing15

[Beachlover]

Yes it's him , the avatar is 3 years old so he was only 21 back then .

In Chiang Mai a lot of the boys live and study at the University and its very easy to make contact with them.
But I guess I was just lucky one night, I met him when he was out with friends at Mandalay and the rest is history.

I think you should try to get away from the hectic Pattaya scene for a while , Chiang Mai is more relaxed and fun.

Yeah... he is cute. And the miniclip is very sweet lol.

Met him at Mandalay?... Is it easy to meet boys at Mandalay? I really want to visit Chiang Mai again sometime and check out the gay nightlife there.

What is Mandalay like? Is it easy to get by if you don't speak Thai? What nights is it busy?

[Beachlover]

Twenty-three, IMO, seems to be the minimum age at which one can expect a boy to have maturity of outlook.

I agree, 23 sounds about right. The human mind doesn't fully develop until you're about 21, so a couple years to find your way around the world with the new thought processes, and you're good to go with forward and analytical thinking! Until then, you're basically just one large walking ball of hormones and emotions. The BF is definitely a good reminder of this. I'd like to get mad at him sometimes for it, but how can I when he's crying, visibly upset, and about to disappear to Kohn Kaen on me?

Hmm... that's interesting. I agree. When I got to 18 or 19 I thought I was everything I needed to be. Only now that I'm a bit older do I realise how mentally and physically undeveloped I was back then.

And 23 does sound about right... hitting that age over the last 1-2 years, the changes in my mind... maturity of outlook etc. have been massive. I wish I had this kind of thinking a few years ago. I'm still a big ball of thoughts that keep changing (all the bloody time) but definitely more forward thinking and steady now...