Trip Report Part II: Falling In Love With A Bar Boy

[Rush, Yet Again]

So after almost 30 years of visiting Thailand two or three times a year, I finally fell in love with a bar boy. Now IтАЩve read all the warnings posted on this board over the years, and have also read the occasional exaltation to love (thinking, you idiot!) so I know better. But all of a sudden I found my heart taking control whereas I usually let my cock do the thinking (the latter usually being the more intelligent of the two).

Bobby Kennedy once said, тАЬEvery society gets the type of law enforcement it deservesтАЭ. (Ok, I probably paraphrased that but the sentiment holds true.) WhatтАЩs that got to do with falling in love with a bar boy? Well, I think we all tend to pick the guy we deserve. Meaning, for example, if you expect a guy who views you as a walking atm, thatтАЩs exactly who you will end up with. I think its kinda a karma thing, too - you get what you put out into the universe. If money is your over riding concern, so too will it be his. These guys arenтАЩt dumb - they can spot a sucker as quickly as they can a skinflint. But itтАЩs not just the money thing. If you zero in on a guy like a poodle who spotted a great dane in heat, well, its only your fault if you get bit. And if you think bar boys are all uneducated farm boys who would prefer a hotel with concrete floors and bare walls (as a recent poster suggested), youтАЩll end up with that guy. In truth bar bois encompass a wide range of education levels, desires, ability to speak English, reasons for working in a bar, etc. So the perfect guy for you, whatever form that takes, is out there . . . not that finding him was ever my intention.

I met Noom at Future Boys a year ago on my annual xmas/birthday/new years bash outing. Normally I hit a bar, have a drink, if a тАШpossibleтАЩ comes into view buy him a drink, and then either off the guy or hit the next bar. At the prices these places charge, itтАЩs the most economical way of getting through an evening. Once a year I pick one of my favorite bars, load my wallet up with cash and spend the evening partying my ass off buying drinks for a whole slew of boys and mamsans, tipping everyone in sight and quickly becoming the favorite customer of the night. ItтАЩs actually quite fun having half a dozen guys massaging your body and cuddling up next to you while you get plastered. At least once a year. So IтАЩd spotted Noom early in my visit, but wrote him off because he was such a stud - incredible body, toned, defined, muscled . . . and his body language and attitude seemed to say he knew it. Plus IтАЩm a top and figured itтАЩd be difficult to get him to even smoke much less offer up his ass. But late into the visit he made his way over, sat down next to me crouched low and looking up with the most adorable eyes, smiled sweetly and said, тАЬHiтАЭ.

Mmmmmmm, maybe thereтАЩs more here than I originally thought. So I smiled back, said Hi, and asked him what he did. тАЬI do everythingтАЭ was his reply. Not that we havenтАЩt all heard that exaggeration before. But what the hell, he was incredibly cute and buffed, so I bought him a drink, chatted him up for a while and took him off for the night. Back at the hotel, he was extremely affectionate, not at all in a hurry to get the sex over with, quite willingly smoked me without any prompting (and did so well) and when the question of anal sex came up - that would be when my finger was buried up his ass - said, тАЬI no likeтАЭ which while to a Thai is as close to No as they can come, to a Westerner means if you really want to push it, itтАЩs there for the taking. But IтАЩm a nice guy. Really. So no fucking but after cleaning ourselves up he fell asleep naked cuddled up in my arms and I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

Nice guy, enjoyed spending time with him and offed him another 2 nights to cover New Years Eve. ThatтАЩd be the end of our time together because I was headed for Penang the next day. On our last night, after dropping by his bar to pay his off, he grabbed my hand and pulled me through PatpongтАЩs night market to a stall at the far end of Silom where he bought two small gifts, one for me and one for my mom. What a sweet guy! Another night of great sex, kisses and hugs in the morning and off I headed quite satisfied with my choice of companion in Bangkok.

In June I visited Bangkok again for a few days. But with no intention of offing Noom again . . . variety is the spice of life in my opinion. But when he spied me walking into Future Boys his exuberant dash across the stage into my arms kinda settled the question of who IтАЩd off for the night. And again I found him to be charming, sweet, and affectionate and enjoyed spending time with him during the day as much as I did in bed at night. And heтАЩd been exercising daily so he was even more muscled and toned than before. Another day or two of offing him and then I was off to Bali. Decided then that IтАЩd add him to the slim rank of guys I tend to off for at least one night on every visit to Bangkok.

Prior to my trip in October, Noom emailed me that heтАЩd switched bars. He was now at Hot Male. I called him the night I got into town, but explained I was with a friend (had brought a guy up from Sumatra with me for most of the trip). We hit Soi Twilight that evening, dropping into various bars so my friend could see the different shows, and Noom called to find out where I was. We were at Dream Boys at the time and I told him weтАЩd be at Hot Male in about 30 minutes. Ten minutes later he rushed into the bar, gave me a big hug and settled into my arms. My Indonesian friend was a bit put off to say the least. Noom had no problem with me being with someone else though and happily sat with us during our visit to Hot Male. As we left I took him aside and told him IтАЩd be back on Saturday, after my friend headed home. And sure enough as soon as I walked into the bar Saturday night Noom jumped up and came running. When we sat down together several of the guys and a few of the mamasans came over to say hi . . . heтАЩd been talking about me to them all week and of my anticipated arrival. I spent another day or two with him before heading home with pleasant memories to tide me over until my next visit to Thailand.

Whew, that was a lengthy backstory! And notice I never mentioned the тАЬLтАЭ word once. At this point it was no more than a simple friendship, mixed with a lot of lust. A few bits about Noom: heтАЩs straight; he views his bar work as тАШbidnessтАЩ; has a muscled body to die for (and has no intention of switching to Tawan as he figures he has less competition for those who enjoy the built guys at Hot Male); speaks passable English. HeтАЩs extremely gregarious and immediately includes strangers into our day time outings. I make a living out of buying silver and jewelry in Thailand and selling it back in the US. We were at one shop in Kho San and after having spent a while chatting with the owner while I picked out merchandise some new customers came in and Noom immediately proceeded to charm them into making some retail purchases theyтАЩd probably had no intention of making.. And I love his cock: heтАЩs uncut like most Thai guys, but the head hangs out so it looks like he is cut . . . and that sucker gets rock hard and points north at the drop of a hat.

And so my annual December/January trip rolled around this year, but I had not emailed Noom that I was coming to town (yeah, nice guy, lots of fun, but time to butterfly off to greener pastures). After a few nights hitting various bars in town and hooking up with a few fellow travellers via Gay Romeo, I was sated but not satisfied and headed for Hot Male the night of my birthday. My timing was great, I walked in and was seated during the middle of their тАШBig CockтАЩ show. After a half dozen guys had hit the stage showing off their hard cocks, Noom came on stage. Hard member throbbing, big smile on his face, he stood in front of where I was seated twice looking like he was staring into the crowd when, like most of the guys, his eyes were glued to the mirror behind the audience. On his third pass he looked down and saw me, his eyes got wide as he let out a whoop and jumped off the stage headed away from me quickly hiding his cock . . . he was actually embarrassed and it was so adorable! He came jumping around the stage yelling out my name and melted into my arms to a round of applause from his friends and coworkers. And my heart melted. My dog doesnтАЩt get as excited to see me. His smile, the glow on his face, his obvious joy and contentment to be wrapped in my arms was just too much. If I was a mushy kind of guy IтАЩd have cried. Instead, after some 30 years of visiting Thailand, in that moment, I fell in love with a bar boy.

And to top the evening off, he remembered it was my birthday and had the bar sing Happy Birthday to me. Forget being a butterfly, I was committed to spending as much of my holiday with Noom as possible. And that night as he lay naked in my arms with a smile on his face I invited him to come spend a week in Chiang Mai with me . . .

Similar Threads:

• My First trip report - Part two
• Toilet paper boy's trip Report Part 1
• trip report part 1
• Trip Report Part VI: Amazing Thailand
• Trip Report Part III: It's Up To You In Chiang Mai

[Dani69]

such a sweet story good work

[Beachlover]

Nice story...

Goodness... he certainly had to work hard for it!

Sounds like a hot boy.

I wonder how it works when they are straight though...

Love to hear more when time due ..loved the story,but heard this name noom before might be a common name in Thai

[x in pattaya]

...but heard this name noom before might be a common name in Thai

Very common name. "Noom" = "young man".

I finally fell in love with a bar boy. Now IтАЩve read all the warnings posted on this board over the years

"As Willie Sutton the bank robber said when asked why he robbed banks, 'because that's where the money is'."

Never could see the reason some people act as though finding a "boyfriend" in a restaurant or mall toilet or on the beach somehow put them on the moral high ground compared to finding a guy in a bar. That's not to say that every guy in a gogo bar has that potential. Obviously you have to be cautious, as much of your own emotions as of his motives, but that's going to apply in any case. Any kind of a relationship between two people, no matter how unlikely the combination appears to the cynical or how "made for each other" it might seem to romantics, can take off or crash land.

Nice, well-written story. I hope it all works out well. As long as it suits your needs ... the both of you ... and not the rules & regulations of the self-appointed relationship police, ENJOY. :cheers:

[Dodger]

Rush,

I enjoyed your story, and thank you for sharing.

I, like you, have allowed myself to fall in love with a working boy, and as brutally honest as I can be, regret it deeply. I'm saying this because I know full well, that in life, the elements of joy and sorrow are inseperable partners, and that one day, all thoso joyous memories I have of HIM - will be erased by a storm of sorrow that is inevitable. Inevitable, because of the realization, that he, at the young age of 22, has not evan reached his prime years in life yet, and will one day find someone closer to his own age, and probably within his own culture, to fall in love with. This isn't something that I hope for, it's just the reality of life the way I see it.

He is now living with his family up in Isaan in an attempt to create a normal life for himself outside of the working-boy circuit. He's also recovering from a bad yaba addition which I have been battered by emotionally for years now. I have bailed him out of jail on two occaisions, attended numerous court hearings, provided him with food, shelter and a shoulder to cry on during several of my holidays, and just recently, provided the funding for the re-building of his families home so he and his family can have a decent place to live. I have done all of these things willingly because of the love that I have for him, and will hold no ill feelings if, in fact, our paths in life were to seperate. In all honesty, it's not just the love I have for him that propels my boat - it's this deep burning desire I to be loved. The fact that I chose a working boy (dream boy) who's less than half my age to feed this burning desire, is the result of two things; Lust, and poor decision making on my part. It's just that plain and simple the way I see it.

When the day arrives, where his natural desires take presidence over his comittments to me, I only hope that the joy involved with my new search, will somehow balance with the sorrow I will be consumed with at that moment in time.

I wish you the best of luck in your own pursuit, as I realize that we all have our own boats to row and view these matters differently.

mai pen rai

have allowed myself to fall in love with a working boy, and as brutally honest as I can be, regret it deeply.

Have NOT allowed myself to fall in love whit a working boy but i was ! I not regret to much , i see it as learning.

Ach does it matters if you allowed love or not , it is like the flou it is in your brain and your blood and it needs time to go out.

Going to Thailand brings me in a special mood, the sun , the culther, the boy, the country and the holiday feeling.

Even i am a lot stronger now i not sure the love whit a working boy never comes back ! :bigsmurf:

mai pen rai

Thanks for the story's Rush and Dodger.

[catawampuscat]

Refreshing to see honest postings by men who know what is real and
what is fantasy. Far too many of us find a barboy and think this is
real love, everlasting passionate union of two kindred spirits.
Well, as stated many times before, it is love for the over the hill farang
and 'bidness' for the teenage barboy.
The lovesick farang thinks 'how can this boy not feel what I feel. He is
so passionate, and he tells me he loves me'.
The answer, my friend, is to enjoy the moment and be prepared as Dodger
stated, for the inevitable crash, with a few rare exceptions.
If we don't take ourselves so seriously and actually don't think that this one
boy, out of the thousands available, is the only one we can ever love,
it takes some of the angst and drama out.
In the end, time heals all wounds and as strongly as we feel, in time,
the feeling passes or changes and we find another boy to get crazy about..

Easy to say, but it is reality and even the most lovesick farang learns this but
forgets it each time until the bank account empties out and the farang thinks about flying from his condo, but fortunately the vast majority of us move
on and do it all over again.. :cat:

[zinzone]

Rush enjoyed reading your report.
However:
Let me understand correctly.
When you first met him he told you he can do "everything" but later when having sex he told you he did not like to be fucked and further has admitted he ain't a gay at all but is straight.
Your are smitten with his sexy toned body and your are prepared to forgo what you want as a top to accomodate someone who would clearly prefer sex with a female; nonetheless because for amongst other reasons he remembered your birthday you are prepared to finance and pay for this person because of your "love" for him?
Right?
I wonder how many straight men in Thailand will do the same for a woman who admits being a lesbian and won't let the straight fuck her?

Good luck to you.....

Pic of Noom?