Do you begin a post but change your mind?

[bucknaway]

Several times I have begun a post about my time in Thailand but did not post it. It use to be Hedda that gave me a hard time but now it is Smiles.... I don't understand why they do what they do, but sometimes you just want to enjoy the board and not have to fight about things that you should not have to fight about.

Never have I gone into a post to insult or be nasty to this guy. If he makes a post of or about his boyfriend or posts an old photo of himself, I read it, and if I donтАЩt have anything positive to add, I move onto another post.

What is the purpose in the attacks, insults and nastyness?

Could this be part of the reason many of you do not share your experiences of your time in Thailand? Not because of Smiles but because of the insults, rude and nasty comments designed to hurt you and cheapen your valued memory?

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Before I worked up the courage to post on here for the first time.

I came in post H*dd* - but at the time I found the forum it seemed that Mrsydney was beating up on every post and poster and many people, myself included, were hitting the "ignore" button

Eventually I came up witha question that A) had not been asked here before and B) I could not find the answer to in books or elsewhere on the web (Re: Catholic Churches in Thailand)

Lo and behold! Who was my first respondant? Mrsydney, of course - but I got off pretty lightly since he merely asked if I was a pedophile priest! Ironically, I now look forward to Mrsydney's posts since they often give me quite a chuckle (not to mention a crash-course in slang!)

I thknk the key to surviving and thriving on a public forum is to develop a bit of a thick skin so as to not take offense and - most importantly - not to rise to the bait. Bullies only enjoy themselves if they know they are "getting to" the victim of their unwelcome attentions.

I have also noticed that there are many veterans of the board who are quick to defend attacked posters - or to confront chronic abusers.

So, keep on posting and I'll keep on reading and responding if I have something contructive (or at least amusing to myself) to add.

[elephantspike]

I thknk the key to surviving and thriving on a public forum is to develop a bit of a thick skin so as to not take offense and - most importantly - not to rise to the bait. Bullies only enjoy themselves if they know they are "getting to" the victim of their unwelcome attentions.

I think that's a good philosophical approach to posting, Clawdaddy.

Bucknaway, I can't believe you consider Smiles to be a bully. I can't speak for him, but the way I read his responses to your posts, it seems more like in the tone of someone just kind of ribbing a buddy. Just good-natured, tongue-in-cheek, well-intentioned irony. Am I wrong?

[bucknaway]

yeah, I do keep on posting but I have 86 most of them for this board. They get posted but not here and sometimes they turn into e-mails to my friends.

Most of the guys on this board are veterans from the pattaya gay message board. On that board there ware many posts of personals adventures in Thailand. The insults came and those type of posts were slowed to a trickle and than vanished.

The insults and nastiness does nothing to encourage the very purpose of the board.

Smiles is great for posting pics and providing travel information and this board is made richer by his knowledge of Thailand and wealth of photos.

[bucknaway]

If smiles and I didn't have a history then I would agree.... But it is not a good nature ribbing.

You should be wearin a skirt mate.Smiles is just muckin around with ya,thats the way old grumble bum is ,he s just muckin around ,be a good sport and take it toungue in cheek.The old bloke is not havin a go at ya,he now probaly thinks your a big sheila but i reckon.
oh poor bucknaway,spewin cause someones havin a go at ya.
ya bloody big sheila !

[Bob]

Geez, Buck, you don't have to worry about Smiles. If you're that sensitive, you only have to watch out for the 2-3 wackos and I'm pretty sure you know by now who they are.

I've written many posts that I ultimately deleted for various reasons, usually because I think I have got better things to do than argue with an idiot on a particular topic. I don't mind offering what information I have to questions asked but most of my knowledge base concerns the Chiangmai area and that doesn't come up too often here.

For whatever reason, I have elected not to post about my personal matters (for example, my relationship, travels, home visits, etc., with my Chiangmai friend of almost 5 years) and I'm really not sure why I won't do that. Sometimes I think it's because I won't be able to sufficiently provide the entire story and backdrop in an accurate manner but mainly it's because I just don't feel the need to lay all of that out on a public forum. Plus, for whatever reason, I don't think my Chiangmai friend would appreciate me doing that.

Thats terrible bucknaway, people who trash your treasured memories should be thrashed. I love peoples treasured memories especially of Thailand, I think any-one who has gone there must come away with many treasured memories that I would love to read, for me, except the time my tuktuk was hit by a truck (first and last time in a tuktuk) I have always felt enchanted being there. Some people just get disenchanted very easily just ignore them, jaded tarts that they are.

Some things are too treasured however for the world wide web, these things I keep to myself.

Dear Bucknaway,

Actually I think you may be right, I have hesitated to post on the board about things that are important to me, because some of the responses can be hurtful.

Now my posting is largely limited to responses to others topics rather than starting one of my own. Although my own story (relationship with my boyfriend and our plans for the future) may be moving on a bit next week and I did agree to post again about that because it could be helpful to others.

When rude or ignorant people respond I think the only thing to do is press the ignore button (I have only done that on one poster here) or simply not respond at all to their taunts and continue to dialogue with others who respond constructively, even if critically.

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