The Perfect Off

[Oliver]

Ignoring the red-neck wet dreams above, I differ only on one issue with Arsenal. My first offs were in 1995 and were guided by the excellent Gay Guide I bought in Foyles for a few pounds. The writer (his name was Michael (I think) Notcutt, advised us not to discuss payment before the deed. I never have, though if a guy asks me , I always tell him honestly. Only rarely has this happened. I always give the going rate, well-known to all of us and to the guys themselves, and then add a couple of hundred plus for taxi/ dinner.
The advice to give a small tip if you return to his bar is particularly apposite. The other guys will know that you offed him and ignoring him will result in his losing face.
Arsenal is right to emphasise the importance of respect. Not only is it right it improves performance....for both parties.. Enlightened self-interest, if you will.

[goji]

The writer (his name was Michael (I think) Notcutt, advised us not to discuss payment before the deed. I never have, though if a guy asks me , I always tell him honestly. Only rarely has this happened. I always give the going rate, well-known to all of us and to the guys themselves, and then add a couple of hundred plus for taxi/ dinner.

I think it's good advice from Arsenal in 7 of the 8 items. It may be 8 out of 8 for all I know.

I've tended not to raise the subject of money, but will give a minimum figure if they ask, making it clear it's more if they are good. I've always thought there should be some variation according to performance.

I'm interested to hear the argument in favour of fixing the tip in advance.