Well, founty old sport, my creative juices weren’t quite working on your scale, more’s the pity. But my little cogs were whirring round and I was almost tempted to say, ‘Who me dear? Oh, no dear! I like to give and take cock up the bum. That’s why I stay in a poofters’ hotel like this.’
But I thought it was a bit early in the morning for that sort of smutty talk, so I opted for the more anodyne, less creative and non-offensive, ‘Er . . . no, not yet’.
Ah, but next time . . .