Are you Homophobic?

Don't know about others but there's a part of me that's homophobic.
But straight away I'm not happy with the "phobia" part because it suggests that I'm in some way irrational in my non-interest in or my actual dislike of certain types of "gay". But it's the common term used so it will have to do for the moment.
The dilemma for me is that I'm attracted to a narrow band of male types in terms of body and personality.
The age group is (roughly) between 18 and 28.
My favourite body type is medium and cute.
I like funny, different, straight or straight acting and a little crazy.
When I was young I was definitely bi-sexual but that's long gone by now.
I have zero attraction for effeminate gay men who flounce around and help women doing their hair etc.
In fact I can't share the same space with them for more than 10 minutes whereas I get on ok with women themselves.
But I'm never offensive and I'm always polite but I can't manufacturer an attraction.

No.

I too am repulsed by overtly feminine guys and prefer straight guys if that is considered homophobic so be it!

Mincing queens are so exhausting to spend time with.

I abhor the notion that us queers should be aping hetero-normative behaviours by pressing for gay "marriage". Does that make me homophobic? I'm not interested in screwing trannies - I prefer my guys to be boys out of bed, girls in bed - but I don't run a mile when a katoey or a lady boy comes and talks to me either. I don't enquire too closely about anyone's sexuality because the one thing we know from Kinsey's research is that sexuality is a continuum not a binary outcome. The number of married men you see hanging around public lavatories is testament to that. So I'm not too fussed if some lad I've picked up turns out to have a woman and kids at home, but it's not a type I chase either

I was recently travelling through Isaan (see my thread on the topic) and met a mildly effeminate unmarried man living in a village. When I commented to one of my travelling companions about the lack of a boyfriend so what did he do for sex, the response was "many guys want to muck around" - another euphemism for you there, scottish-guy - a sentiment about gays in village life that I've heard before

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Originally Posted by frequent

I abhor the notion that us queers should be aping hetero-normative behaviours by pressing for gay "marriage". Does that make me homophobic?

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Why would be against same-sex marriage? For example, why shouldn't I be allowed to sponsor my BF and life partner for permanent residency to Canada? I should be denied that right just because we're both males?

What happens if we're living in Canada, and once of us end up in the hospital for a decent length of time? We should be denied visitation rights, simply because we're gay? Thankfully, this seems be a non-issue in Thailand.

How about when doing taxes? I should be denied the ability to claim him as my spouse? Thankfully Canada legalized gay marriage back in 2005 on the federal level, so this is all kind of a moot point for me anyway.

Anyway, back to the OP. I'm not really attracted to the feminine queens either, but that hardly makes me homophobic. That would require me to be hearful of them, which I'm definitely not. They're more than welcome to be whoever they are, same as everyone else. Just because they happen to be gay too doesn't mean I need to find them attractive, and jump into bed with them.

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Originally Posted by cdnmatt

Why would be against same-sex marriage? For example, why shouldn't I be allowed to sponsor my BF and life partner for permanent residency to Canada? I should be denied that right just because we're both males?

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Do stop talking patent nonsense Matt. Both New Zealand and Australia have had same-sex immigration programmmes for same sex couples since the very early 1990s. In 2006/7 the Australian government legislated away all legal differences between heterosexual and homosexual couples; the New Zealand government having done so some years earlier. Both countries have enshrined in law the view that a marriage certificate is utterly meaningless when it comes to deciding all sorts of legal issues. New Zealand legislated for gay "marriage" some years ago; Australia is yet to do so. Britain also had a similar approach for a number of years. You should be considering whether the issues raised in the Celebrity Threesome case in Britain are in fact a somewhat compelling argument for the view that allowing gays to have "marriage equality" is in fact changing the nature of marriage

Well, learn something new everyday, as I didn't know Australia and New Zealand has those laws in place for such a long time. I know in Canada it wasn't possible to apply for PR status with a spousal sponorship until gay marriage became legalized at the federal level, which happened in 2005.

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Originally Posted by cdnmatt

Well, learn something new everyday, as I didn't know Australia and New Zealand has those laws in place for such a long time. I know in Canada it wasn't possible to apply for PR status with a spousal sponorship until gay marriage became legalized at the federal level, which happened in 2005.

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No doubt Australia's past as a convict colony made the issue of informal relationships a more pressing one. As for New Zealand - I think they're desperately grateful that people want to go there to live

Typical of ( older) gays to pick on other gays. How about live and let live, if someones style isn't to your taste, fine then move on and keep your opinions to yourself perhaps - otherwise don't complain when the straight line up to hurl insults at YOU disgusting gays that they "hate" because of ( insert bullshit homophobia caused by general intolerance and their mistaken view that homophobia is ok because it's only about "them").. Disgraceful. But as I say SO typical of gays - scream for equality and acceptance and then deny others the same as they're not "their" sort of gay.

Time to wise the fuck up boys - homophobia is NOT cool incase no one has told you yet. You might not like some guy as he's an annoying cunt and does your head in over playing his campuses - but thats HIM and no reason to brand all "gay people"- whether your type of gay or not. Shame on the lot of you who partake in this brand of repressed homophobia and all just somewhere deep down to make yourself deemed to closer to the straights who's opinions you seem to care about so much - fuck em all - love everyone, viva la difference I say !

( and yes Latin today I'm tree hugging and proud of it as it seems the alternative is hating and no thanks, you can keep that as I've seen what it does to people so no thanks)

Hear Hear !

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Originally Posted by arsenal

Mincing queens are so exhausting to spend time with.

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"Other" mincing queens?

I wonder how many of those who applaud the Taiwanese decision have actutally read it:

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Creation of a permanent union of intimate and exclusive nature for the committed purpose of managing a life together ...

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Yep, that pretty much sums up every gay couple I know - definitely "permanent unions of an intimate and exclusive nature"

The replies are interesting and thankfully not homo-genous.
+Frequent;
I would like to think that we can keep this topic as one of Ideas and not of People or Events but having said that there's one kind of Event that's full of particular types of People that give us bad press- The typical Gay Pride Parade- and it's a Bad Idea.
GPPs are Top heavy with Bottoms fluttering around in tight jocks and angel wings.
The viewing public go home with the Bad Idea that effeminacy=gay.

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Originally Posted by FarangRuMak

I would like to think that we can keep this topic as one of Idethere's one kind of Event that's full of particular types of People that give us bad press- The typical Gay Pride Parade- and it's a Bad Idea.
GPPs are Top heavy with Bottoms fluttering around in tight jocks and angel wings.
The viewing public go home with the Bad Idea that effeminacy=gay.

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I dissagree, these events are a crossection of gay people, you only see the queens as they are the most conspicuous, hopefully a time will come when these events by the gay community are no longer relevant.

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Originally Posted by Manforallseasons

I dissagree, these events are a crossection of gay people, you only see the queens as they are the most conspicuous, hopefully a time will come when these events by the gay community are no longer relevant.

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"You only see the Queens"
Isn't that one of my points?
I could also mention the attention seeking butch lesbians. This is a case of Top Heavy with Tops with no thought for the long suffering dildo-ravished bottoms.
I agree with your final thought though.

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Originally Posted by FarangRuMak

This is a case of Top Heavy with Tops with no thought for the long suffering dildo-ravished bottoms.

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What do all you "long suffering dildo-ravished bottoms" think?

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Originally Posted by Manforallseasons

What do all you "long suffering dildo-ravished bottoms" think?

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He's no longer with us MFAS

I have a homophobic reaction to khatoey with "bolt on boobs". I don't mind so much a khatoey dressed feminine without the cleavage, but since I am a gay man, and I like men. A boy with boobs does not compute with me. So, I don't go to the big shows like Tiffany, Colosseum, Alcazar. These feature all male cast, but trying mightily to hide it and look like a girl. Not my cuppa.

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Originally Posted by FarangRuMak

The replies are interesting and thankfully not homo-genous.
+Frequent;
I would like to think that we can keep this topic as one of Ideas and not of People or Events but having said that there's one kind of Event that's full of particular types of People that give us bad press- The typical Gay Pride Parade- and it's a Bad Idea.
GPPs are Top heavy with Bottoms fluttering around in tight jocks and angel wings.
The viewing public go home with the Bad Idea that effeminacy=gay.

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Sticking to ideas, why is effeminacy "bad"? Going by your logic, the "good" gays are the butch ones. Where does this thinking come from and why should we adhere to it if it doesn't make sense?

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Originally Posted by sglad

... why should we adhere to it if it doesn't make sense?

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You hold yourself out to be an intelligent person - although someone who fails to understand the difference between "troll master" and "master troll" - so surely you know that every religion from Buddhism to Zoroastrianism is predicated on the opposite of that principle?

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Originally Posted by frequent

He's no longer with us MFAS

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GOOD POINT :lol:

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Originally Posted by frequent

He's no longer with us MFAS

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The last I heard he is busy attending to his cacti in the middle of the Australian desert. :D

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Originally Posted by Manforallseasons

I dissagree, these events are a crossection of gay people, you only see the queens as they are the most conspicuous, hopefully a time will come when these events by the gay community are no longer relevant.

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Speaking of gay pride parades, who are the Thais who participate in them? I know gay Thais from different walks of life and none of them have any interest in these events or have participated in them. Some have not even heard of them. So who are the Thais who take part in Thai gay pride events?

+sglad
My fault that I facilitated a misunderstanding.
Effeminacy is neither good or bad; it just is.
The bad idea is that people get the view that effeminacy=gay which does not hold. Anecdotal is not sound evidence I admit but I know a few effeminate men who are not Gay and many gay men who are not effeminate.

#24 @sglad.

From my experience in Thailand, those guys who participate in Pride events are mostly working within the gay-related industries (bars, hotels, restaurants, etc), the "gay scene". And/or they are the partners of gay expats who enjoy being "on the scene".

On the other hand, there are "non-scene-gays" who are completely 'out' to their family, friends, co-workers and the like. Yet they keep clear of Pride for fear they might be seen and associated with the 'gay scene', and all that that can infer.